


One Year//Lirry Stayne

by A_writing_reject



Series: Lirry love [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Boxer Harry Styles, Child, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Harry Styles - Freeform, Liam Payne - Freeform, Louis Tomlinson - Freeform, Love, M/M, Niall Horan - Freeform, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Harm, Smut, Zayn Malik - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:28:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 62,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23774584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_writing_reject/pseuds/A_writing_reject
Summary: Sequel to my one and only.One year. It's been one year since Harry has stormed out of the house and left me with my son named Tyler. He's now one and a half years old. One year since the only person who could have saved me left. Will he ever come back and take care of our kid with me? Or will he be like everyone else and never come back?
Relationships: Liam Payne/Harry Styles
Series: Lirry love [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1709230
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all! Here's the sequel to 'My One and Only', you can check out my other book it's a Larry Stylinson fic on wattpad, my name on there is a_writing_reject, enjoy!

~*~*~*Liam's POV~*~*~*

"Daddy get up!" I heard my one and a half year old Tyler yell from my side. Ever since Harry left he's been more clingy and wanting to be in the same bed as me, claiming he has nightmares when he's not with me. I rolled over and looked at my son who smiled at me.

"Hey baby, what are we doing today since daddy doesn't have to go to work?" I asked, pulling him onto my chest.

"We go park?" He asked his brown eyes wide with excitement. 

"Sure baby, let daddy get dressed and eat something then we'll go." He nodded and ran out of the room that he's gotten used to doing each time I tell him that I'm getting dressed. No ones heard or seen Harry (to my knowledge at least) since he left me. He didn't go see Louis, Niall, Zayn, or Gemma. He just left. To say I haven't moved on from him is an understatement. I think about Harry on the daily. There are so many times where I'm at the store and I just hope and pray that he'll be there, but he never is. I haven't even thought of dating. My life has revolved around Tyler and my job. I basically have a desk job at a large business. The nice thing about it is that they actually see potential in me, so I've gotten a few promotions already in my time there.

To put it simply, our lives are just routine; same thing, different day. 

"Okay bubs, let's get you dressed." I picked Tyler up and brought him to his room, changing him into a fresh nappy, jeans, and a blue shirt. I then brought him downstairs where we ate breakfast quickly. I slid his shoes onto his feet and put my shoes on. "Walk or have daddy hold you?" I asked as we walked out the door. He simply grabbed my hand, indicating that he wanted to walk.

We got to the park and saw a mom and her daughter there. Tyler turned around and hid behind my leg. "Baby let's go on the swings at the end away from them," I whispered taking him to the end of the swings.

After ten minutes of swinging the lady walked over carrying her daughter. Instinctively, I picked him up and cradled him to my chest. "Hello! I've never seen you guys here before. Is this your brother?" she gestured to the boy who hid his face in my neck.

Tyler answered her question before I got to. "Daddy go home," he whined, getting scared by the new person.

"He's your son," she said shocked. I nodded. "Well how old are you?" she smiled.

"I'm just nineteen. Babe, we can't go home, we just got here." He whined again and a small cry came out of his mouth, but instead of breaking down into a fit of tears he just laid his head on my shoulder.

"You're so young! Who's the lucky lady?" She asked smirking at me. I sighed and repositioned Tyler.

"Actually uhm I don't know her name. One day my ex-boyfriend and I got home and we saw him laying on our porch where someone left him. We took him in and legally adopted him. It's just him and I now since my boyfriend left me." Tyler suddenly lifted his head up and looked at the lady.

He nodded then said, "uh-huh papa go bye bye. Miss papa." He shook his head with a frown on his face and looked at me. "Daddy know where papa is?" He questioned, head tilting to one side. I shook my head and looked at the lady.

"It was nice meeting you, but we're gonna go for a walk then go home. Oh and I didn't catch your name, mine's Liam by the way and this is Tyler." I said. Tyler smiled and gave a small wave before tucking his head into my shoulder again. 

"I'm Louise but you can call me Lou, and this is Lux, my daughter. It was great meeting you two, I hope to see you around town sometime." I nodded and we said goodbye after talking for a lot longer then expected. I set Tyler on the ground then grabbed his hand as we started walking away from the park.

After ten minutes of walking I heard little cries coming from behind me and something wet on my hand. I looked down to find Tyler crying and reaching up for me to pick him up.

I grabbed him and hugged him to my chest. "What's the matter, baby?" I kissed his head of curls that reminded me too much of Harry's hair. I heard a small 'miss papa' I cooed and started walking with a bounce in my step to calm him down. That's another reason why I can't move on either. As young as Tyler was, he was still able to remember Harry somehow. Part of it is on me, I never took down our photos or moved Harry's stuff, and I'm very open about talking to Tyler about Harry. He deserves to know who the man was who cared for him too. I walked with my head down, lost in my thoughts. I was so lost that I didn't even realize Tyler had seen someone. 

"Daddy, Papa!" he cried. I whipped my head around and sure enough, I saw a head of curls and broad shoulders that could only belong to Harry. He was wearing his signature brown boots with black skinny jeans, he also had a black shirt on with a dark blue jacket, grey beanie on his head.

He looked just as stunning as he did a year ago. 

Suddenly all the memories flashed in my head, the vulnerability, the fight, the love, everything that Harry and I had. I almost dropped Tyler as he started kicking me to put him down. I quickly set him down, watching as he ran to Harry who scooped him up and held him as if his life depended on it. I started panicking as Harry got closer bringing Tyler with.

Soon we were face to face. "Liam you still live here," he breathed out. I nodded frozen where I was.

"Papa miss my birthday," Tyler said frowning at Harry. The frown I used to give Harry when he was annoying me.

"I know I'm sorry baby I want to make up for it if daddy will let me," he said looking at me. I started muttering no over and over again and I quickly took Tyler away from Harry.

"No, no you know what Tyler it's time to go home it's gonna be bedtime here in a bit and daddy needs to work in the morning," I said rushed and shaky. I started speed walking almost crying when Tyler started calling out for Harry.

We got home and I turned on a kids' show for Tyler to watch for a while as I stepped outside to calm myself. I took a deep breath while pacing back and forth. Then I saw Harry walking towards the house. He worried his lips between his teeth. He then called out for me; hearing my name in his voice sent chills down my spine, I so desperately wanted to run to him but instead, I ran inside. I quickly got in and locked all the doors and windows and closed the blinds. I can't let him break my walls again. I can't let him into my life again if I'm just going to crash back down again.

"Daddy?" I heard Tyler call out from the couch.

"Yeah babe what's up?" I asked picking him up and bringing him to his room.

"You no like papa?" He questioned cocking his head to one side looking adorable as ever.

"No baby the problem is that I love papa so so much. It's hard to explain baby, but just know I love papa so much." He nodded his head and sighed. "Should we take a bath babe?" I questioned. 

"Bath then sleep in my bed, not daddy bed." It surprised me when he said that. Was he mad at me? Was it because I took him away from Harry? I nodded and faked a smile and got him in the tub. I let him play for a while as I scrubbed his hair and body clean.

"Cold daddy," he complained once I lifted him out of the water and left to find a towel.

"I know bub you'll be warm in a minute," I called and walked downstairs as I went to search for a towel. I decided I'd look out the window to see if Harry was still there and it didn't surprise me when he was right outside the door sitting on the ground shivering. I didn't know what to do; do I let him in, give him a blanket really quick, or go get a towel and act like he's not there? I decided I'd just grab a towel and go back to Tyler. He was shivering when I got back reminding me too much of Harry sitting outside shivering.

"Here you go, baby, let's go get clothes on real quick then go to bed." I picked him up and quickly got a nappy and pajamas on him.

"Did you have a good day?" I asked cradling him in my arms slowly walking around the room, bouncing him lightly. He yawned but nodded.

"I did, got to see papa. Papa made me have good day." I frowned thinking I don't make him happy anymore. I laid him down and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"I love you baby," I whispered putting a dummy in his mouth. I heard a quiet 'love you too daddy' as I walked out and the tears started to fall.

I ran to the closet where I keep extra blankets and walked hurriedly to the front door. I looked out and still, Harry was sitting there shaking like a leaf. I closed my eyes and opened the door, quickly throwing the thick heavy blanket out before shutting and locking it again. I dug through the junk drawer, hoping to find the lighter that we kept in the drawer. I found it and lifted up my shirt slightly. when I felt the intense heat on my hip I closed my eyes tight and gritted my teeth. I heard knocking on the door but ignored it, completely focused on the heat on my skin.

I eventually pulled the lighter away to see a burn mark forming on my too hot skin, leaving a deep red mark in its wake. I took a deep breath before opening the door to see Harry standing there with his fist raised.

"Liam, please let me talk to you," he said in a rushed voice that was filled with desperation. I sighed but let him in when I saw his lips almost blue with how cold he was.

He pulled me into him and stroked his hand over my hip, making me cry out in pain. He backed away with a frown on his face and pulled my shirt up a little. I whimpered and tugged it back down.

"Shh it's okay I've got you," he said quietly while slowly pulling up my shirt. Why do I still fall into him so easily? Why am I not capable of moving on? He got it up just enough to see all of my burns and cuts. He gasped and looked into my eyes. "Liam no, no, no. When I left I didn't mean for this to happen," he said running his thumb over my face. I felt my legs give out from underneath me and I landed on Harry who caught me and held me up.

"I'm sorry. I'm weak, you said it your self." I sobbed gripping his shirt tight as the events of our last altercation played in my head. 

"No you aren't, I don't know why I said that babe it was stupid of me. I still love you, I just got mad because that guy touched something that was mine," he said into my ear and bringing us into the living room. He sat down on the couch with me to his chest running a soothing hand over my back. This is wrong, I shouldn't be giving in to him like this.

"I can't let you stay," I whispered. 

"I know you think I shouldn't, but I want to come back tomorrow. I'll leave now if you take a day off tomorrow and still take Tyler to wherever he needs to go okay?" I nodded and got off of him so he can leave.

I called my work that night before I went to bed. When I did close my eyes to fall asleep all I could think about was Harry. I can't let him in and break my walls again.


	2. Chapter 2

~*~*~*Liam's POV~*~*~*

I woke up to the sound of crying at one in the morning. I groaned and stood up, walking into Tyler's room.

"What's going on babe?" I asked picking him up and resting him on my hip. he sobbed, his little body shaking with each one.

"Nightmare." he sobbed grabbing onto me tightly.

"Oh, what was it about honey?" I asked gently and took him to my room putting him on my lap once I sat down.

"You went away! Just like papa," he sobbed loudly gripping my shoulders tightly, almost like if he let go I would disappear. I shushed him and reassured him I wouldn't ever leave him. "Don't go, need you, daddy." My heart felt like it could burst when he said that but all I did was pull him closer, cover us up, and snuggle with him in the blankets. I saw him trying to stay awake but failing miserably as I rubbed his back.

"I love you, daddy," he said quietly. that was his first whole word that he said to me and the day he said that was the proudest day of my life and ever since he's been saying it as a whole word but other words he can't.

"I love you too baby all the way to the moon and back."

"That far?" he asked looking at me with shy eyes. I nodded and he smiled then whispered, "Love you more."

I smiled and asked, "how far then baby?" he yawned. 

"To park 'nd back," he said after thinking about something that he thought was far away.

"Wow, that's really far sweetie! I don't think I can go any farther than that, I guess you do love me more." He nodded proudly then told me he loved me one more time and fell asleep. "I love you too sweetie, more than you'll ever know," I whispered and kissed his head, I pulled him closer to my chest and let my eyes slip shut, falling into sleep.

The second time I woke up was to my alarm clock. I turned it off and looked at Tyler. "Baby, time to get up," I whispered then lifted him up so he was sitting on my lap with his head on my shoulder.

"I go pway?" I nodded and brought him to the changing mat in his room, quickly changed him, and put jeans and a t shirt on him.

"Okay let's go eat honey," I said after combing through his curls and gently brushing his teeth. I put him in the high chair and got out apple sauce and a plastic spoon. I fed him faster than I thought so we sat on the couch watching tv. I only remember a few parts from last night, I remember burning myself, thinking Tyler hated me, calling work, and sitting with Harry before kicking him out.

I heard my phone buzz just as I zipped up Tyler's coat, I went and saw that it said it was from Harry. I frowned, not remembering me giving him my number.

From Harry: Hey love, am I still coming over today? Harry xoxo

I smiled, of course he put xoxo in it.

To Harry: Yeah you can start driving and how'd you get my number? :) Liam xoxoxox

From Harry: I might have grabbed your phone when we were sitting on the couch oops ;) Harry x

I smirked and grabbed Tyler, not bothering to reply to harry. I put him in the car, starting it, then drove to Tyler's playgroup. Luckily, he had a toy keeping him occupied and wasn't looking out the window because as I got to a stoplight I saw Harry on the other side of the road. He apparently he saw me because his left eye dropped down and he winked at me as he drove past. That little shit.

I got Tyler inside the building and checked him in giving him a hug and kissing him on the cheek.

I drove fast to my house. Once I got there I noticed that the door that was once locked was unlocked. Great, so that means he remembers where the spare key is too. I walked in and found Harry on the couch with a bag of crisps watching tv.

"Well there you are love, it took you long enough," he said putting the crisps away and walking towards me, giving me a proper hug. His arms wrapped around me, not stroking my hips or anything like last night; just hugging. I hugged back, wrapping my arms around his neck. I think at that moment that's when it hit me. I missed him so god damn much. I grabbed his hair, fisting it and clinging to him. I miss what we had, the awkward conversations, the texting and phone calls that nobody would understand but us. The cuddling, the kisses, the passion, the time he tried having sex with me, the other sexual things we did, everything we had I missed.

"Harry," I said softly into his ear. he hummed but I didn't say anything else, nor did he because at that moment we both knew that we needed each other, we both knew that we can't go on without being with each other because there is so much history and the burning sensation to have him is just coming back.

"Liam let go babe I want to talk to you," he mumbled into my neck as we both hesitantly pulled away.

We sat down at the table and he grabbed my hand in his big ones. I smiled remembering the day we actually took a tape measure to see how big my hand was and how big his was and to see how many inches apart are mine and Harry's hands; it looks like it hasn't changed.

"Do you still sing and write songs?" He asked squeezing my hand.

I let out a breathy chuckle. "I've wrote so many songs about us breaking up its unreal." I shook my head and smiled and looked into his deep green orbs.

"Really? can you sing one for me?" I blushed but nodded taking him to the music room and grabbing the song that I most recently wrote call Half a Heart. 

I took a deep breath then started.

So your friends been telling me

You've been sleeping with my sweater

And you can't stop missing me

I bet my friends been telling you

I'm not doing much better

Cause I'm missing half of me

And being here without you is like I'm waking up to

Only half a blue sky

Kinda there but not quite

I'm walking around with just one shoe

I'm half a heart without you

I'm half a man at best

With half an arrow in my chest

'Cause I miss everything we do

I'm half a heart without you

Forget all we said that night

No it doesn't even matter

'Cause we both got split in two

If you can spare an hour or so

We'll go for lunch down by the river

We can really talk it through

An being here without you is like I'm waking up to

Only half a blue sky

Kinda there but not quite

I'm walking around with just one shoe

I'm half a heart without you

I'm half a man at best

With half an arrow in my chest

'Cause I miss everything we do

I'm half a heart without you

Though I try to get you outta my head

The truth is I got lost without you

And since then I've been waking up to

Only half a blue sky

Kinda there but not quite

I'm walking around with just one shoe

I'm half a heart without you

I'm half a man at best

With half an arrow in my chest

'Cause I miss everything we do

I'm half a heart without you

Without you without you

half a heart without you

Without you without you

I'm half a heart without you

I finished and looked at Harry who's mouth was open and looked at me with shocked eyes. I thought he was going to leave again so I just looked down, frowning. But instead of leaving he grabbed me and pulled me onto his lap.

"That was incredible babe, I loved it." He looked at my face and noticed I was frowning. "Hey, what's wrong love?" he asked turning my face so I was looking right into his eyes.

"I thought you were going to leave me again," I whispered. he shook his head over and over again pulling me closer and putting his face in my neck and started marking my skin, sucking and biting it then kissing it when he felt it was good enough. he looked into my eyes and started leaning in while slowly closing his eyes. Our lips were almost touching, then my phone rang.

He jumped back at the same time as me. I quickly got up and grabbed it seeing it was Louis.

"Hey, what's up Lou?" Harry stood up to listen probably, he hasn't talked or heard his best friend in a year to my knowledge.

"Hey, are you busy at the moment?" he asked and I heard Niall and Zayn laughing about something in the background.

"Uhm uh Harry's here at the moment," I said looking at him who put his arms around my waist and kissed my neck.

"What! Harry's there why didn't you tell me?"

"He showed up yesterday, Louis."

"Well, Jesus Christ you could've said that yesterday!" He exclaimed into the phone. "I'm coming over to talk to that curly haired boy tomorrow but for now I'll let you guys have your moment," he said then hung up. I sighed and put my phone in my pocket. I turned around to put my head on Harry's chest but instead, I felt two strong hands on my face making me look up into the eyes I fell in love with the first day I looked into them.

"Will you go on a date with me?" he asked suddenly. I was shocked at first but then nodded he hugged me and brought us to my room then I thought of something.

"Where have you been staying?"

"I've been staying at a hotel and today was my last day staying, so if you don't let me stay here I'll be at your doorstep again." he smirked looking down at me.

"Well, if you pick up Tyler from his play group then I suppose you can stay," I smirked as he nodded then started leaning in a little then hesitated.

"Can I kiss you?" He breathed out looking into my eyes. Instead of answering I fisted his hair in between my fingers and kissed him. It felt just like it did a year ago. Fireworks, passion, love, and Harry. His lips felt the same. Rough but soft at the same time. I thought about how much I missed him and how badly I want to show it to him, he's my everything and has been for so long. 

When he pulled away I tried leaning in again but he just quickly pecked my lips. I whined and tried kissing him again but he grabbed my face.

"I need to go pick up my son so I can stay with him and my lovely boyfriend," Harry smirked at me and walked downstairs. "I'm taking your car, I don't feel like putting a car seat into mine, it's too much work." He smiled and I rolled my eyes. His laziness definitely hasn't left. I watched him walk out and in that moment I knew everything will be okay, it will be normal again and I'll have my whole family and life will be perfect.


	3. Chapter 3

~*~*~*Harry's POV~*~*~*

I got to Tyler's playgroup and walked inside even though I knew I was early but there's nothing wrong with that picking him up early considering he's been waiting over a year to see me.

I knocked on the door to his room and his teacher opened it.

"Can I help you, sir? I've never seen you here before." I cleared my throat.

"I'm Tyler's other dad, Liam wanted me to pick him up." She nodded and was going to get Tyler but he saw me and dropped his toys to run over to me.

"Papa!" he squealed reaching up for me. I smiled and picked him up, kissing him on his forehead before he laid his head on my shoulder.

"Just sign him out on that sheet so we know he left early and then his stuff is in the lockers." I nodded and walked over and signed him out then grabbed his stuff from his locker which was filled with finger paintings and a lunch box.

"Ty, don't you bring these pictures home?" He shook his head. "Why not baby?"

"They for you, daddy doesn't like talking 'bout you or bringing pictures of you." I nodded and picked up all the paintings he's made with me in them or for me. I'll have to talk to Liam and show him all of these.

"Okay, babe lets go home." He nodded and reached up for me to pick him up. I swung him onto my shoulders and started walking. "Have you been good for daddy while I was gone?" I questioned looking at the little boy in my arms.

"Yeah, sleep with daddy every night." He nodded. "Not last night though." He shook his head while frowning.

I frowned back at him. "Why not hun?" I asked while opening my car door. 

"Daddy be mean." 

"How was daddy mean?"

"He tooks me 'way from you," he said looking at his fingers. 

"But that doesn't mean he's mean, he was just scared baby. Kind of like how you're scared of monsters? he was that scared." 

He frowned and looked down, I kissed his head and closed the door then ran over to my side.

I got home and ran around to get Tyler who was asleep in the back. I pulled him out and picked up the drawings and brought them inside. I signaled for Liam to be quiet who just nodded and turned down the tv.

I brought Tyler to his room, quickly kissing his forehead and walked back down, the paintings still in my hand.

"What are those?" Liam asked slightly confused.

"They're drawings that Tyler made that had paintings of me in them or just of me. He said you wouldn't let him take them home, why's that?" I questioned but grabbed Liam's hand when he went a little pale, reassuring him I wasn't mad.

"It just hurt seeing you, I was so torn apart about not being with you and the first time he made a picture it didn't look too much like you but I could tell it was you. So many memories came back and I knew that would happen every time, so I just asked him if he could stop making them or bringing them home." Liam was looking at our intertwined hands and played with my fingers.

"I'm not mad Li, I was just wondering. You don't need to be upset lovie." I smiled and nuzzled my nose against his. "I love you," I said making him look at me, shock was written on his face as the words spilled out of my mouth. I was honestly shocked too. 

He smiled at me and whispered, "I love you too." He kissed me gently, as he pulled away he opened his eyes and looked so deeply into mine and in that moment I realized how important he is to me, I realized how much I missed him, how much I craved to just sit there and hold him and love him. I need to touch every inch of him, I know I'm desperate for it.

"Liam," I mumbled into his neck shutting my eyes tightly and slid into his lap, all he did was pull me closer if possible and gripped me almost as hard as I was holding onto him. "I love you so goddamn much," I whispered clenching my hands into the back of his shirt.

"I love you too, I will forever-" 

"And always." I cut him off quickly. I looked up at him in adoration until I heard the sound of Tyler waking up ring through the baby monitor.

"I'll get him," Liam said sliding me off of his lap. I pouted up at him but accepted my seat on the couch. I watched for Tyler and Liam to walk down but instead turned my attention to the tv.

In a few minutes I saw them walk down well saw Liam walk down with Tyler in his arms, hair sticking up in many directions and looking dazed. I smiled and reached out for Tyler, Liam handed him to me and he cuddled into my chest.

"You didn't sleep long did you baby?" I asked even though I knew he wouldn't answer, all he did was push his face into my neck. "Liam are you okay?" I asked as I noticed that he seemed to zone out. His head snapped up and he looked at me and nodded while rubbing his face. "You sure hun?" He shrugged. "I'll make us food." I offered but he shook his head and went into the kitchen. I sighed and looked at Tyler and set him on the floor, distracting him with toys before walking to the kitchen.

I grabbed Liam's waist lightly, he jumped and looked back at me and sighed. "Why are you so jumpy and stressed babe?" I whispered and started swaying us back and forth.

"I spent over a year trying to get over you and now you show up and after a day I realize I'm still so in love with you. It scares me because I think you're going to leave again." I grabbed his chin and kissed him hard.

"I'm never leaving ever again I promise." I kissed him again then turned to the food and started stirring it. "Go watch Tyler, I'll finish up lunch yeah?" He nodded and went into the living room. I can't help but think about how great my family is. Sure us three aren't perfect but who cares, we love each other and that's all that matters really.

"Lunch is ready!" I yelled setting the food on the table. Liam came in holding Tyler's hand. He set Tyler in his high chair and dished up his food and let it cool off before giving it to him.

"I work tomorrow, do you?" Liam asked I shook my head as I was watching Tyler. "Then you'll have to stay here to watch him while I work, is that okay with you?" he asked and I turned to him.

"I think the real question is are you okay with it." He nodded and swallowed then smiled at me.

"Of course it's okay with me, you're his dad too. I can't just take him away from you and not let you spend a day with him because I'm not there, that's just not fair to you," he said.

"Yeah but it's been you and him for almost a year and a half, and fuck Liam you've done such a great job with him. I mean, look at him. He's absolutely gorgeous and is so smart, I wouldn't have done that good with him if it was me and him."

Liam shook his head. "No you would've done great with him, he learns fast, he feels people's emotions even if you don't want him to. He's incredible, he's the one thing that held me together when you left. if I didn't have him I don't know what I would've done." Liam shook his head and looked at Tyler.

"Well I'm here now, I can't bring myself to leave again. It's my job to protect you two and that's what I'm going to do for now on, I was a dick for leaving but you don't have to worry about that anymore. I promise." I said wiping off Tyler's face.

"Thank you so much Harry, I don't know what I'd do with myself if you do leave again." He frowned looking down and grabbing my hand.

I tilted his head up and kissed him. "you won't have to worry about that because I'm here now and I will be forever. this is my home." I smiled and leaned in. This is the only home that I'll ever need.


	4. Chapter 4

~*~*~*Harry's POV~*~*~*

It all started with a sniffle a few days later when I picked up Tyler from his playgroup. When you're a parent and your kid has a little sniffle you don't think much of it especially since it's cold out. But there comes a point when you do start to worry. I remember it, as clear as day when I went to go pick him up. The day that changed everything.

"Hey, I'm here to pick up Tyler," I told one of the helpers at Tyler's playgroup.

"Okay, Tyler's over there, he seemed a little down today and had a runny nose so we just told him to lay down when he said his stomach hurt." I frowned but nodded and walked over to Tyler.

"Hey, baby. did you have a rough day?" I asked picking him up. He nodded as he rubbed his eyes with his small fists. I cooed and stepped outside where he instantly started shivering. I frowned and took off my jacket and wrapped him in it tightly but it still didn't fully help with his shaking. I pulled him in close to my chest and started speed walking towards the car, wanting to get him into a warm place.

I drove home quickly, glancing back every once in a while at Tyler's almost sleeping form. I sighed and pulled into the garage and ran around to Tyler's side and lifted him out, making sure that my coat was wrapped securely around him. he whined as the cold wind blew into the garage, I quickly shut the garage door and got inside. Liam isn't supposed to be home for another hour or two so I'll have to take care of Tyler until then, I thought to myself.

I laid him down on the couch and went to grab a cup for him and put cold water in it. I walked back to the couch and looked at him. he looked so pale and was almost asleep.

"Hey babe, stay awake, come on angel why don't we go play?" He nodded and reached up for me. I picked him up and he instantly laid his head on my shoulder. I frowned and pulled him away so he wasn't touching me. He whined and tried reaching for me. I pressed my lips to his forehead which felt really warm and frowned. I sat on the floor with him next to me and tried playing with his cars with him but he was having none of it. Instead, he tried climbing into my lap and each time I set him back down he tried climbing back up again. Liam told me that he's extremely clingy when he's sick, or if he's scared or cold he's clingy. Since I knew he wasn't going to play anymore, I picked him up and held him to my chest that he instantly buried his face into, gripping harshly on my shirt. 

I sighed and grabbed my phone and called Liam. He picked up on the third ring.

"Harry this better be important because we're a little busy," he said grumpily into the phone. I smiled, I can literally hear the frown in his voice.

"Well if you consider your sons' health important then yes it is." I looked at Tyler and smiled.

"What's wrong?" He instantly sounded more alert than he did a second ago.

"I picked him up and he was in the nurse's office and he has a temperature I'm pretty sure. He just does not look well at all." I listened for what he had to say and after a long silence he sighed then spoke.

"I'll be home soon then." Was all he said then hung up.

"Where daddy?" Tyler cried giving me his sad face.

"He's at work but he'll be home soon bubs," I reassured him but he still started crying.

"Want daddy now," he whined, his little body shaking with the force of his sobs and coughs. 

"Shh you're okay hun papa's here, papa's here baby," I whispered bouncing him up and down and walking around the room which didn't really calm him down. I sighed and set him down which made him cry harder. I quickly ran to mine and Liam's bedroom and grabbed one of Liam's sweatshirts, spraying some of his cologne on it to make it smell even more like him. 

I walked downstairs and gave it to Tyler who grabbed onto it and put his head on it, instantly soothing him. I grabbed him and sat in the rocking chair and started rocking, holding him close to me and using Liam's sweatshirt as a blanket. I started humming a song that I heard Liam sing once and watched as he started falling asleep, slowly but surely.

I sat in that chair for at least an hour before Liam got home. When I heard the door open I jumped then I realized it was just Liam.

"Hey I'm home, what's going on?" He questioned taking Tyler into his arms instantly and feeling his forehead.

"I think he has a temperature, he's warm, clingy, tired, and has been coughing a lot. Plus he's super pale as you can tell," I said and watched Liam frown. "You frown too much, you have like frown lines." I said kissing his cheek. He just raised his eyebrow at me then looked back down at Tyler.

"Go get a washcloth with hot water and another one with cold water." I nodded then ran up the steps.

~*~*~*Liam's POV~*~*~*

The first time I had to leave work early was when Tyler had an allergic reaction to the type of paint they were using in his playgroup. This is the second time I've had to leave due to an illness of some sort. "Wait, Harry? Is this my sweatshirt?" I asked looking at the hood and feeling the material that was holding my son. I sat on the sofa while holding Tyler.

"Oh yeah it is, he got all upset that you weren't here so I gave him that and he calmed down." I smiled at the fact that my baby boy still wanted me, even though he's been going through his 'I don't need daddy' phase, he still wants me when he's ill. Harry came back moments later with the washcloths and I quickly started cooling him off before putting the hot one on him. I sat on the couch, Tyler still in my arms. Harry came and sat by me and put his arm around me.

"We're a dysfunctional family Harry," I said smiling at him. he rubbed his nose against mine.

"Yeah but, you're my dysfunctional family." He smiled at me and then pressed his mouth to mine and slowly kissed me. I pulled back and looked at Tyler just as he started coughing, his body shaking with the force of each one. I patted his back and laid his head on my shoulder to hopefully help release some of the mucus. By the time he stopped, he was very upset and was red in the face and sweating. He started letting out loud wailing cries.

"Oh baby, I know sweetheart, daddy's got you."

"Should I go get him some milk? I can warm it up, maybe that'll help," Harry said, worry in his voice. His hands were shaking, I knew this was new to him so I smiled and nodded. I tried bouncing him but that still didn't calm him down so, I gave up and just held him, rocking him in my arms.

"Here, I put a little bit of vanilla in it, make it a little sweeter than just plain milk." Harry held out the bottle and sat on the recliner that was across from the couch Tyler and I were on. 

"Thank you H, this should help." I pressed the bottle to his lips and he eagerly took it. He stopped crying and started playing with the buttons on my shirt, as he downed most of the bottle. 

I walked over to Harry, plopping down onto his lap and laying my head on his chest, Tyler still in my arms. "he's going to be okay." I heard Harry whisper before he kissed my head.

"I didn't say he wouldn't be."

"But you were thinking about it." I looked up at him and watched him smile at me. He kissed my lips and looked at Tyler.

"Go put him to bed then we'll go to bed." I nodded and went up the stairs to Tyler's room. I laid him down in his crib.

"I love you, baby." I kissed his warm forehead and covered him up then walked to mine and Harry's room where I was met with a half-naked Harry. I smiled and changed into pajama pants and a white shirt then laid in Harry's arms and fell asleep almost instantly.

I woke up to the sound of Harry's frantic voice. "Liam, come on we're going to the hospital."

"What, why?" I asked sitting up now wide awake.

"Tyler needs to go to the hospital, his fever was so high and he's been vomiting uncontrollably and is having trouble breathing, an ambulance already came and got him, I'm sorry Li I didn't know what to do, I'm sorry." At that moment I felt numb.


	5. Chapter 5

~*~*~*Liam's POV~*~*~*

I started packing the bag with tears in my eyes, what if he dies? What if he never walks out of this hospital? I broke down at that thought and hung my head, looking at my lap. Harry walked in and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, holding me to his body.

"He'll be okay babe, I promise he'll be fine just no more crying, it makes me sad when you cry." That made me cry harder than before. He then picked me up and set me on his lap with my face in his neck and my hand tightly gripping his shirt.

"W-what if he d-doesn't leave that hospital." I sobbed into his neck, he just hummed.

"He will hun, I swear on my life he'll be okay. They just wanted him there so they know what's going on with him and they can monitor him, run a few tests and see if they can find anything, and give him some fluids." I nodded and whimpered, he pulled me into a tight hug with one arm around my waist, the other gripping the back of my neck. I pulled my face away from his neck.

"Oh lovie," he said softly once he saw my tear-stained face and puffy red eyes. He wiped the tears that were still on my face away and kissed my forehead gently.

"We should get going," I whispered loosening my grip on his shirt and stood up. I reached out to grab his hand. He took my hand and our bag and walked to the car, I didn't realize how early it was. It was 2 in the morning so that means Harry was probably up at 1, and that's when the ambulance took Tyler but Harry probably sat for an hour trying to pull himself together and stay strong for me and thought about what he was going to say. I whimpered as I felt tears start to build up again.

"Hey, no baby don't cry it's okay, you're okay we're all okay," he whispered and opened my door then put the bag in the backseat. He went into the driver's seat and started driving to the hospital, almost going over the speed limit.

Once we got to the hospital he went to the front desk and figured out which room Tyler was in but she told us that he wouldn't be in there so, we walked instead of taking an elevator.

"What are they doing to him that can't possibly happen in his room?" I asked quietly, fitting myself into Harry's side.

"I don't know baby, but whatever it is that they're testing him for might just help him." I nodded and put my face in the crook of his neck breathing him in.

I heard the door open about a half an hour later and I stood up when I saw Tyler. He was ghostly pale and looked like he could fall asleep at any moment.

"How is he?" Harry asked putting his hands in his back pockets of his jeans.

"Well he's still very sick and will need lots of medicine but he should be able to go home soon we just need to make sure that he stays alright. As for the vomiting, I think that is just because he's sick and you know that wasn't too serious once we got some fluids in him, he's going to be alright."

"Mmm daddy," Tyler whined from his bed. when I looked at him it felt like my heart could explode, his eyes were wide, lips pouty, and arms reaching out for me.

"Can I pick him up?" I asked. The doctor nodded.

I picked him up and he was shaking like he was cold but his body was very warm. One of his hands was fisting my shirt while the other one was in my hair and his face was buried into my shoulder.

"Hey baby, you're okay papa and I are going to make sure you get better alright?" I felt him slightly nod into my shoulder before turning his head to look at Harry. The hand that was grabbing my shirt reached for Harry. He came over and hugged Tyler and I.

"How do you feel sweetheart?" Harry asked looking at Tyler's face.

"Icky," he whined still grabbing at my hair (which is now a habit for him because he watched Harry grab my hair ONCE). I laid him back down on his bed and grabbed the tv remote and found a cartoon for him to watch.

Doctors and nurses came in and out throughout the long hours we were there but around night time I heard a knock on the door and the nurse was looking at Harry and I this time. "Do you guys accept visitors?" a nurse asked and we nodded. She disappeared and seconds later three of the weirdest guys I've ever met came in.

"We've arrived," Louis said going over to Tyler who was trying to reach for them excitedly.

"Sorry we would've been here sooner but Niall decided that we should get food first," Zayn said pointing at the blonde boy.

"When you're hungry you have to eat, now let me hold my nephew," Niall announced.

Harry looked at me smiling while I was listening and watching Tyler laugh at all the kisses and hugs he was getting.

"What?" I asked Harry once I turned and saw him staring at me. He shrugged and went behind me and wrapped his long arms around my waist, pulling me back into him. I leaned back into the touch and watched as my now big family hugged and laughed. Harry started swaying back and forth with is head in the crook of my neck.

Unfortunately, the moment was ruined by the doctor coming in saying that visiting hours are over and that only the parents could be in the room.

That night I didn't get much sleep because I was too worried about Tyler.

I woke up to harry softly saying my name and his hand on my face, the other on my thigh.

"What?" I asked still half asleep.

"it's time to go home and Tyler's coming with us." I smiled at that and reached up for Harry who pulled me into a tight embrace and kissed my cheek. As he was hugging me he pulled me up from the chair and waiting until I gained my balance before letting go of me.

"Ready?" I nodded and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. Harry all of a suddenly pulled me really close to him so his lips were touching my ear.

"You know, I asked my Gemma if she could take Tyler for a few days when he's fully healthy, I want some alone time with you." He breathed into my ear making me shudder. I nodded and looked into his eyes before going to where Tyler was standing and swooped him into my arms.

"Ready to go home and watch a movie pumpkin?" He nodded excitedly and wrapped his arms tightly around my neck with his chin on my shoulder so he could look back at Harry. I heard him giggling like crazy on the elevator ride and I looked back just in time to see Harry making a stupid face at Tyler.

He stopped and smirked at me which I rolled my eyes at and then stepped out of the elevator. Harry took Tyler away and set him on his shoulders.

I opened the car door and got Tyler in and got into my side, letting Harry drive home.

By the time we got home, Tyler was passed out due to all the medicine they gave him before we left. "I'll get him you just go inside." I nodded and went in, opening the door for Harry and Tyler. I watched as Harry picked him up and kisses him on the forehead, listening to the things that Harry said to calm him.

He brought Tyler to his room and we spent the rest of our day cuddling.

Tyler was one hundred percent better a week later.


	6. Chapter 6

~*~*~* Harry's POV~*~*~*

"Thanks again Gemma," I said when Liam and I brought Tyler over to her house.

"No problem love, I know you and Liam need some alone time with each other," she said winking at me and Liam. Liam flushed a bright shade of red and looked down at Tyler. I let out a chuckle and rubbed Liams back soothingly. 

"Well, we should be on our way, don't want to waste any more time that you could've spent with Tyler," I said as I crouched down to Tyler's level.

"Come here and give papa a big hug and kiss," I said opening my arms for him to go into. He gave me a hug and a kiss and did the same to Liam. Once he did he realized we were leaving he broke down into a fit of tears, holding onto Liam tighter.

"Don't go please," he said shaking and rubbing his eyes.

"Oh but baby you're going to have sooo much fun with aunty Gemma and you're going to play games and watch movies and do a bunch of fun things, you won't even know that papa and I left." He nodded and rubbed his eyes and gave us both one last hug before letting Gemma pick him up and bring him to the living room to play.

Liam and I walked out the door and before he was able to open his car door I pinned him against the car.

"Tonight you're mine," I growled while puffing hot air against his neck where my head was. I felt him nod and lightly grabbed my jacket, looking down at it like it was more interesting than me, almost like he didn't want to look at me.

"You're going to go easy on me for the first part right?" Liam whispered still looking at my jacket that he was playing with.

"Hey look at me, Liam. Of course I'll go easy on you I haven't forgotten that you've really never been with anyone if you don't count what those men did to you which is just fine. I promise I'll make it a lot better than last time." He looked up at me and smiled, giving me a soft kiss before pulling away and opening his door. I walked over to my side and got in and started driving home, I felt him grab my hand and squeezed. I could tell he's nervous, he worries about too many things; he just needs to calm down sometimes and maybe I'm his way to calm down, and quite frankly I'm okay with that.

We got to the house and I opened his door and we slowly walked to the house. This time we took our time and it wasn't so intense and we planned on going slow since it's Liam's first time.

When I heard Liam close the door I turned and looked at him, only to be met with him shaking slightly and a scared look on his face.

"Hey what's up babe?" I grabbed his face gently and kissed him but pulling away slightly so he could answer.

"I'm just a little scared that's all." He let out a shaky laugh and leaned into me, nudging his nose against mine.

"I'm going to be with you through it all, I promise you have absolutely nothing to worry about. I love you and I'm always going to stay here and be with you. I don't want to do this just to have sex since I haven't in a long time, I'm doing it so I feel closer to you and show you how much I love you." He nodded and leaned closer to me and shifted so his face was pressing against my neck.

"Come on let's go," I said taking his hand and bringing him to our bedroom. I shut the door and looked at him and took my shirt off and signaled for Liam to take his off. He looked down at it and played with the bottom of it, obviously getting more and more self-conscious. I walk over and slowly started lifting up his shirt, he made a sound like he was fighting back a cry of protest. I pulled his shirt over his head and immediately started kissing all over his stomach and sucking love bites into his skin because he's mine and no one will ever take him away.

He threaded his fingers through my hair and whimpered, gripping them a little more tightly. I went back up and started kissing his lips, slowly dragging him to the bed. He laid down with me hovering over him breathing heavy, our lips barely touching.

I moved my hands onto his hips and he breathed out a sigh of content and then with shaky hands, reached down and started undoing my zipper. he whined out of frustration, not being able to get them buttoned or undo the belt. I let out a chuckle and helped him. Eventually, I was fully naked and started undressing Liam. I started pulling down his sweatpants and as I was I looked at his face and saw him frowning while trying to cover up any part of his body that he could reach.

I smacked his hands away. "Hey, remember what I said? it's me and you together through this, you don't have to hide your body from me." He nodded and took a deep breath and let me pull down his pants the rest of the way. When I did I scanned over his whole body then jumped up and pushed my mouth against his, forcefully kissing him and nipping and sucking on any skin that I could reach. As I was doing that I rolled my hips into his, just to see his reaction. he gasped and bucked his hips up into mine and wrapped his arms around my neck as he started grinding on me. I groaned and bit down where his shoulder and neck met and left a bruise.

After that most of it was a blur, I barely remember prepping him or him getting fully naked but then after that, I remembered to focus on him.

"Are you ready baby?" I asked him. He bit his lip and nodded. I lined up with his hole and slowly started pushing in, watching his face the whole time.

"Harry stop please," he said breathlessly when I was halfway in.

"Do you want me to pull out?" I asked running my thumb over his face.

"No, I just need to adjust." I nodded and let him wrap his arms around my neck and suck on my neck to ignore any pain he could be feeling.

After a minute he nodded and I started pushing in again except a little faster so I could get fully in quicker. After that it was all just slow rocking back and forth, going in and out at a slow pace until he got used to it and let me go faster to the point where we both didn't care how hard the headboard was hitting the wall. All I could hear was Liam's moans in my ear. I heard Liam cry out and shoot his load on his stomach, my thrusts became more erratic as I started reaching my climax. I pushed in as deep as I could as I came inside of him, I groaned and buried my face into his neck as I rode out my high.

The only sound in the whole house was our heavy breathing other than that it was completely silent, but a good silent.

I pulled away and looked at his face, he looked tired but happy. " I love you so much, Liam." I kissed him passionately, not even letting him answer. "I love everything about you, even the things that you don't like about yourself." I grabbed his arm and pulled his wrist up to my mouth and kissed the scars that replaced the cuts that were once on his skin. He whimpered as I pulled out and stood up to get a washcloth.

"I love you too Haz," he said wiping off his stomach, he looked at me and pulled me down onto the bed.

That night had to have been the best night of my life.


	7. Chapter 7

~*~*~*Liam's POV~*~*~*

I woke up the next morning with a dull ache in my body but it was a good ache.

I could hear the sound of breakfast being made and Harry humming a song. I got dressed and made my way downstairs.

"Hey beautiful." I heard him say, I jumped in surprise. He turned around and squeezed me in his arms, pressing his face into my neck.

"How'd you know I was here?" He hummed into my neck.

"Liam I will always know where you're at in this house, I can feel your presence." I smiled at that.

"I love you ."

"I love you too baby."

"I miss Tyler," Harry said all of a sudden with a pout on his face.

"I know I do too, but we needed a few days to ourselves."

After a few moments of silence, he responded.

"I know. Isn't it all just crazy though? we don't know his birth mom, he was in a fucking box when he got here, and yet he still loves us like we're his real parents."

"Well in his eyes we are his real parents and in my eyes, we're his real parents." He nodded in agreement.

"Well, babe breakfast is finished." He smiled at me and handed me a plate.

We ate in silence but it was a nice silence. It was a silence that spoke its own words just without any sound.

"Lili," he mumbled, I almost thought he was just saying it and not actually talking to me until he started rubbing my leg.

"Yeah, babe?" I looked at him. His eyes were wide, his face looked almost pale, and I could see his chest moving up and down at a rapid pace with every breath. I grabbed his hand and ran my thumb over it.

"My heart is beating so fast." He sounded almost out of breath and scared. I started thinking that he was having a panic attack, but why?

"Just breathe lovie, in and out slowly, calm down I'm right here I got you." I held him to my chest and showed him how to breathe and how to stay calm.

After what seemed like forever, he finally calmed down but his grip on my shirt was still tight and he wouldn't let me let go of me.

"What was that all about?" I asked after a few minutes.

"I was just worried," he muttered into my shirt.

"About what?"

"Tyler."

I cooed and held him even tighter.

"He's in good hands we both know that." He nodded. I like these moments, where he lets go and doesn't act so dominant and in control of everything and just lets go a little.   
He pulled away slowly but gripped my hands tightly in my hands, he looked at me with wide eyes. 

"I don't know how you've been able to go through that alone, it was scary for me even though you helped me," he said in a shaky voice. 

"I know it is very scary at first but I learned how to do it on my own because I was always alone and never had someone to help me." He nodded and looked at his feet. 

"How about let's put our dishes in the sink and go to the store or something," I suggested. he nodded and stood up, taking mine and his plate with him.

We got into the car and drove to the store, once we got there we grabbed a cart and started walking around, looking at different items that we might've needed even though we weren't sure if we even needed to get more. 

We were in an almost empty aisle, it was me, harry, and a different guy who seemed to be looking in our direction. Harry tensed and moved so he was behind me and had his arms wrapped around me.

The guy got closer and Harry and I both saw him wink at me. I heard a low almost animalistic growl rip out of Harry's chest, I looked back in shock, so did the guy. 

"Mine," Harry growled pulling me closer to him, putting his face into my neck but still eyeing the guy like an animal eyes it's prey. the guy backed up and left the aisle quickly which meant harry and I were alone. He pushed me against the shelves and tilted my head to the right side and immediately started sucking and biting a love bite onto my neck. 

He pulled away and took a deep breath. "mine." he whispered in my ear then pulled me into a hug. "You're mine." 

"I know I am." I breathed into his ear quietly. "Why don't we go home, I don't want to cause a scene." he kissed my neck up to my jawline before letting me go. 

We quickly checked out and drove home, the whole time he had at least one hand on me.   
When we got inside and got our groceries put away, he grabbed my hips and walked us up to a wall while he kissed me. He moved his lips down to my jaw then down to my neck and stopped to suck even more love bites onto my skin. He grabbed the back of my thighs and started bringing me somewhere upstairs. I expected him to go to our bedroom but instead, he brought us into his music room. He set me down on the seat in front of the piano.

"I would absolutely love it if you sang me something." he smiled at me before grabbing his own chair and pulling it so it was right by me. 

I took a deep breath thinking of a song at that moment, then I started playing.

"'Cause you're a sky 'cause you're a sky  
Full of stars, I'm gonna give you my heart  
'Cause you're a sky 'cause you're a sky full of stars, 'cause you light up the path"   
I looked at harry as I sang the rest.  
" I don't care go on and tear me apart   
I don't care if you do, ooh  
'Cause in a sky, 'cause in a sky full of stars  
I think I saw you   
'Cause you're a sky  
'Cause you're a sky full of stars   
I wanna die in your arms  
'Cause you get lighter the more it gets dark  
I'm gonna give you my heart  
I don't care, go on and tear me apart  
I don't care if you do, ooh  
'Cause in a sky  
'Cause in a sky full of stars  
I think I see you   
I think I see you  
'Cause you're a sky  
'Cause you're a sky full of stars  
Such a heavenly view   
You're such a heavenly view" 

I smiled at Harry, still looking at him. he leaned over and kissed me. 

"I love you so much, baby."

"I love you too," I said. "Forever."


	8. Chapter 8

~*~*~*Liam's POV~*~*~*  
There's a certain point in a relationship where you know you're in love. You can feel it in your bones, in every single part of you. Everyone has their own definition of love, my idea of love is coming home to Harry and Tyler snuggled up on the couch and food on the table, my idea of love is holding my son until he falls asleep. That's what we are. That's what my family is. We're a unit and although we aren't perfect, they are my idea of love. I know I'm in love with Harry, I can feel it when someone says his name. It's like coming home after a long trip. That's what love is like. It's like coming home and I feel at home every time I feel Harry's presence.

Which is how I feel now, I can hear harry walking down the steps and eventually I feel his body heat radiating off of him. 

"Good morning babe." He kissed my neck sending shivers down my spine.

"Morning lovely, your up earlier than I expected." It was 9:45 and on Harry's off days where he doesn't have plans, he usually sleeps until almost noon it seems.

"Be quiet and kiss me, you idiot." I turned from where I was making breakfast and faced Harry, in that moment I think I stopped breathing. He looked absolutely gorgeous. Sure, I've seen him like this a lot but I've never looked closely. He had the worst case of bed head on the face of the earth, sleep still in his eyes, and his shorts almost falling off from being so low on his hips but he was so so gorgeous. I've never seen anyone so pretty before. I kissed him gently on the lips and pulled away obviously too soon for his liking.

"Have I ever told you that you look gorgeous in the morning?" He smiled, dimples and all, and shook his head no.

"Well, you look absolutely stunning." He smiled wider and kissed my cheek which quickly led to my mouth again. 

"Need to finish breakfast Haz," I said against his mouth and turning back around. 

"Go get Ty, I'll finish breakfast," he said from behind me. I moved out of his way and jogged upstairs into Tyler's room where he laid in a blue crib looking just as cute as Harry.  
I walked over to him and softly ran my hand over his face, cooing to him.

"Tyler it's time to get up baby." He whined and shook his head. I picked him up and held him to my chest as I walked around bouncing just a little bit harder than usual to get him to wake up. 

"No daddy, m'seepy," he said rubbing his face in my chest, messing up his hair even more. 

"Breakfast is done though hun and I want you to eat. You slept forever guess how long you were sleeping." He looked up at me, expecting me to tell him how long. 

"You slept longer than papa did." He gasped and had a horrified look on his face. 

"I did?!" He exclaimed, fisting my shirt in his small hand.

"Yep, so we better go downstairs and see him." Tyler nodded and let me bring him down.  
Breakfast was on the table and Harry was getting food on three plates when I got down to the kitchen with a now very awake Tyler in my arms.

We quickly ate breakfast and got changed, ready to start our day. We didn't do much, we couldn't do much with Tyler just getting better we didn't want to risk him getting sick again by taking him outside especially since it's so cold. So, we stayed in and watched movies with all the lights off and the curtains on the windows shut. 

During the second movie we heard the front door open, Harry was already walking towards the door faster than I was able to react. 

"Are you fucking serious Niall? There's a thing called knocking, you scared the shit out of me." I heard Harry say to Niall.

"I know but I never knock when I come around here." He shrugged and walked into the living room. Tyler was sitting on my lap looking towards where Niall and Harry were with his fingers in his mouth. I sighed and pulled out his fingers from his mouth for what felt like the hundredth time that day. 

"Where's Tyler?" I heard Niall ask. 

"With Liam in the living room," Harry replied they both walked out.

Immediately when Tyler saw Niall he tried jumping out of my arms, he almost fell straight on his face but luckily Niall caught him before he fell. 

And that's how I spent my Saturday was with people I love and people that make me feel better than anyone else in the world. 

I laid Tyler down before I went to bed and walked in and saw harry with a journal in his hand, writing in it. 

"What are you writing babe?" I pulled him close to me, almost messing up what he was writing. 

"It's just a journal that I write my day in, when I left you I went through a lot of therapy because I was very upset with myself and I didn't think I'd find you and I blamed myself and became depressed and my therapist said that it'd make me feel better if I made entries in here about my days and stuff, it's made me rethink a lot of things, like my career choices." He smiled up at me once he finished. It felt like forever until he did finish, he's always been a slow talker which is upsetting sometimes because people don't take the time to listen to what he has to say which is a shame because some of the things he says are incredible. 

"How has it made you rethink your career choice?" I asked grabbing his hand. 

"I want to be an English teacher or at least teach kids how to write, I've been doing it for so long it feels like. I just want to show people how to express their opinions through writing too." I nodded and picked up the journal.

"Is it okay if I look?" He nodded and pulled me into his lap. I wasn't going to read everything he wrote I just read the beginnings, I noticed a lot of his entries started with 'dear Liam' and all ended with 'I love you  
Harry' 

"They're amazing Harry, I'm very proud of you." I kissed his cheek and watched as he bit his lip, trying not to smile.

"I'm going to start on Monday," he said looking at me with a worried look on his face, I'm guessing he thought I'd be mad that he's just all of a sudden back in school. I smiled and squeezed his waist.

"That's great hun it's a good thing I don't work that day." He smiled and nodded. He didn't move or say anything he just bit his lip and looked from my eyes to my mouth. This has always been mine and Harry's peaceful but yet deafening silence. Our silence was never quiet, it was always so loud.

Out of nowhere, he pounced onto me, wrapping his arms around my neck and legs around my waist. His lips instantly came into contact with mine. He was always so warm and strong, but yet even though he was both of those things he could get so cold and mad and then get so weak. But maybe that's what makes me love him even more. 

He finally slowed down a little, he was still kissing me just not as frantic and needy. Eventually, he slowly pulled away.

"You're so perfect baby," he breathed out on my lips. I shook my head and leaned into his chest.

"Yes you are," he said stubbornly. "All angels are perfect and you're an angel." I felt heat rise to my face and looked at my hands.

"No don't do that angel. look at me." I looked up and stared into his bright green eyes, the last time they were this bright was when we were fighting. 

"You are an angel whether you believe it or not and I promise you that I'll remind you every day until you do believe it." I nodded and leaned into his hand that ended up on my cheek.

"You know I love you, angel," he whispered pressing a kiss to my forehead.

"I love you too." was the only thing I managed to get out. I knew if I talked anymore that I'd start crying. 

"Do you want to go to bed?" I heard him ask quietly. I nodded and turned of my lamp, I watched as he turned off his and laid down, eventually taking me into his arms. 

"Goodnight angel, I love you" 

"I love you too," I whispered and fell asleep.

I woke up the next day to the sound of Tyler crying. I groaned before slowly opening my eyes. I looked to my side to see harry sleeping like a rock. How did Tyler's crying not wake him up? I reached over and started playfully hitting him.

"What the fuck do you want?" He whined trying to grab my arm so I'd stop hitting him.

"Tyler wants you," I said and rolled onto my side so my back was facing Harry. He let out a loud groan and got up, mumbling and asking himself why he puts up with this shit, I just let out a laugh, I know he's not a morning person so it's fun to mess with him in the morning. 

He came back in with a sad looking little boy. "Here you go." Harry smiled putting Tyler on my chest and laying back down, shoving his face into his pillow.

"No, stay awake with Tyler and I," I whined hitting him playfully.

"But Li you're used to a baby's schedule and what time to wake up, I just came back and I'm not used to his schedule yet," he whined rolling over so his face was on my stomach. 

"Harry, you've been here for a while now so if you aren't used to his schedule then that's just insane." He breathed a sigh onto my stomach and looked up, reaching for Tyler.

"You're lucky I love you." I hummed in agreement and closed my eyes.

If I had a choice I'd live like this forever.

The whole day was filled with loud giggles and lots of cuddling, we all took advantage of this day because we all knew that the next day Tyler had to go to playgroup, and harry had to go to school.

If it was up to me though, we'd stay here forever.


	9. Chapter 9

Harry's POV  
I woke up before Liam, figuring I'd let him sleep in and get Tyler.

"Ty, time to wake up baby," I whispered, taking him out of the crib and replacing his thumb with a pacifier, -even though we've been trying to wean him off of it- which he gladly excepted then leaned his head on my chest. 

"Come on love bug we're going to take a bath, make breakfast then wake up daddy and then you'll be with all your friends at your playgroup," I whispered, knowing that talking about how the day will go wakes him up a little more. 

"Ok papa," he said with a lisp due to the pacifier. 

I brought him to that bathroom, a little bounce in my step to wake him up more, and got his clothes off his warm body. He's never been this still, letting me move his arms and legs. He even had his eyes closed until he felt the cold tiles make contact with his warm back then his eyes opened a little and he whined before shutting them again. I let him lay on the floor as I started the bath and got the right temperature. As it filled I picked him up and sat on the floor with his face against my chest. 

"Are you excited to play with some of your friends later baby?" He reached up to grab some of my hair in his small hand as he nodded.

"That's good. what do you and your friends do?" I questioned, hoping talking would wake him up a little. 

"Play blocks papa," he said quietly. I nodded as best as I can without having my curls pulled by his hand.

I turned off the taps as the tub was filled to the right amount before gently putting Tyler in the warm water, his eyes still closed. 

"Okay sweetie I know you're tired but I need you to open your eyes so you'll wake up more," I said while putting toys in for him to play with. He whined but opened his eyes anyway. He was looking right at me and my green eyes met his dark brown ones. I smiled at him because he just looked so damn cute half asleep!

I quickly washed his hair and let him play for a while. By the time he was done he was wide awake and giggling.

"We wake up daddy?" He asked as I changed him.

"Nope not yet, we have to make breakfast first baby," I whispered carrying him into the kitchen to start making breakfast.

We figured something out fast, we didn't make much just toast, eggs, and bacon and set it down on the table before going up to wake up Liam.

I slowly opened the door so it wouldn't squeak then set Tyler on the bed, giving him the go-ahead to jump on top of Liam.

He lunged on top of Liam, landing flat on Liam's chest before giggling loudly as Liam started to groan.

"Ty really?" He grumbled before opening his eyes.

"Papa told me to," Tyler said, looking back at me smiling. I stuck my tongue out at Tyler which he did the same back to me and then turned back to Liam when he started talking.

"Well next time tell papa to let daddy sleep." Tyler nodded seriously at what he said and then rolled off of Liam so he could sit up.

"Get up babe, breakfast is on the table," I said, throwing Tyler over my shoulder making him break into a fit of giggles and loud screaming.

Slowly Liam made his way down the steps and sat with Tyler and me.

"I need to go get ready for my class so can you stay with Ty while I shower?" Liam looked at me with a surprised look.

"Of course I can watch my own son," he laughed. I started laughing too and pecked his lips.

These are the type of moments I live for.

I showered and got dressed and went downstairs seeing Liam on the floor reading a book to Tyler who was barely paying attention since he was distracted by his stuffed animal. He would take a quick look at the picture then focus on his animal.

"Hey I'm gonna take off soon," I said as I was pulling my shoes on, they both frowned at the same time. Tyler got up and made his way toward me, falling down only once on the way.

He stretched his arms up in the air for me to pick him up. I scooped him up into my arms and pulled him to my chest.

"Behave for daddy alright?" He nodded and gave me a kiss before I brought him back over to Liam.

I leaned down to Liam's level, smirking at him as I got closer to his face. He rolled his eyes at how slow I was going and pulled me by my neck to his lips.

"I love you," I said against his lips.

He sighed, "I love you too babe," He said opening his eyes.

I smiled and kissed him one more time before grabbing my coat and notebook.

"Love you two." I said before closing the door behind me.

I sighed and walked to my car. Todays going to be a long day.

I got to the building and have been walking around for fifteen minutes trying to find the right room. 

"Can I help you sir?" I heard a female voice coming from behind me making me jump. she laughed, "sorry for scaring you." I laughed and shook my head.

"Yeah uhm I'm trying to find the room for creative writing." she nodded slowly.

"Ok come with me." she smiled and walked me to the right room that I've passed probably five times.

"Here's the room." she smiled brightly.

"Ok thanks, sweetheart." I said smiling at how her cheeks got red and walked into the room. 

"Harry right?" The teacher questioned. I nodded and stood by the door. "You're late, pretty bad start to your first day."

"I know I'm sorry I couldn't find the right place." I said sitting at the chair at the back of the room.

"Well that won't happen again right Styles?" I shrugged smirking.

"Yes ma'am." I said smirking. She glared at me but then continued teaching.

"Like I was saying creative writing isn't just about putting words in a piece of paper and hoping it makes sense. You have to know the definition of things even the things that are difficult for people to understand like beauty and love and happiness. Those are things that we have troubles defining so that's one of the things I'm going to ask you guys to define and eventually we'll go into more complex words before starting the writing process." I looked around the room at all the faces. I don't know a single person here and they all seem to know each other. 

"Alright I'm going to pass out sheets for you guys to fill out and then hand them to me when you're done," she said and started passing out sheets of paper. I sighed when she gave me mine and scanned over it. I rolled my eyes when I noticed it was the same words she talked about already.

first question: what is the definition of love?

easy.

Liam

second question: what is the definition of beauty?

easy.

Liam

Last question:what is the definition of happiness?

easy

Liam and Tyler

I was the first one done and gave it to the teacher. She raised her eyebrow up at me but didn't say anything. I looked up at her as she was correcting it and saw her shaking her head frowning but I ignored it and waited until she was finished with all the sheets.

"You all did well except one student." I rolled my eyes, high school all over again.

"Mr.Styles. You obviously don't understand the task that was given to you, you had to write down definitions of each word, not names." People started laughing but I couldn't care less.

"I did write down definitions ma'am." The room fell silent.

"By the looks of it you just wrote down names." She crossed her arms across her chest.

I was silent for a second before quickly answering. 

"We all have definitions to beauty, love, and happiness. For me happiness is waking up to my boyfriend and child or listening to them laugh, my definition of love is my boyfriend Liam, and my definition of beauty is Liam because he is the most beautiful person on the face of the earth in my eyes; but we all see beauty differently. Someone in here might think he isn't but they might think someone else is, that's their definition. Mine is Liam and if you really have that big of an issue with it I'll gladly leave this room." It was silent.

She leaned over my paper and changed the grade from an F to an A. 

I believe I'll like this class.


	10. Chapter 10

~*~*~*Liams POV~*~*~*

I sat with Tyler the whole time Harry was gone, we didn't do much besides watch tv.

About three hours later I heard the door open and panic immediately filled me. I set Tyler in the corner and walked into the kitchen to see who entered my house. Of course. It was only Harry.

"Harry I hate you some days," I said with a hand over my chest.

"Why what's wrong?" He wrapped his arms around my waist.

"I didn't know who was there! I didn't think your classes would be that short so I thought someone was like breaking in or something." I said panic in my voice.

"Nope just me baby." He kissed my cheek and released me to go find Tyler.

"Papa!" Tyler yelled, he didn't see Harry's face right away all he saw was a few curls and a foot but he knew instantly who it was.

"Hey sweetheart." harry said picking him up. "How's my little man?"

Tyler just wrapped his arms around Harry's neck instead of answering.

"How were you two while I was gone?"

"Good. We didn't do anything too exciting." I shrugged. Harry nodded and sat on the couch.

I went upstairs and into our bedroom. I decided I would clean it instead of sleeping (which I planned to do).

I was about halfway done when I found a blade in my nightstand drawer. my breath hitched when I saw it because I knew why it was in there.

Tears filled my eyes as I stared at it, feeling the pain come back that I felt every time I picked up this thing that I once thought was my only friend.

I'll try one more time. 

Slowly I pressed the cold familiar blade onto my wrist just like I did long ago. when it broke the surface of my skin I hissed and watched little specks of blood form on my wrist. I did it again. and again. and again. I couldn't stop all I knew was I felt the same relieving feeling I felt long ago.

~*~*~*Harry's POV~*~*~*

I went to go lay Tyler down for a nap with Liam since he fell asleep on me. I went into my bedroom and saw Liam sitting up. I could hear small sniffles across the room, I decided to quickly put Tyler in his own room.

I walked back into mine.

"Baby, what's wrong?" I whispered.

"Harry leave please," he cried out still not looking at me.

"Baby what's wrong? I can help you." I sat on my side of the bed.

"I did something really stupid, Harry." He cried harder.

"Can I see?" He nodded.

I walked around and saw his wrist. It was covered in blood.

"Oh, sweetheart," I whispered and bent down in front of him.

"I'm sorry." He whispered quietly and started shaking.

"It's okay love it's okay, nothing we can't fix." I grabbed his arm that didn't have cuts or blood on it and brought him to the bathroom.

I gently grabbed his hips and set him on the counter and pulled out a rag and band-aids.

"Harry." Liam whimpered. I turned towards him.

"Yes darling?"

"I'm really sorry." I pressed the wet cloth onto his wrist and put pressure on it to stop the bleeding.

"It's okay love. I'm just concerned as to why you did it in the first place honestly." I frowned at his wrist even though it stopped bleeding. I brought his wrist up to my lips and placed light kisses on all the cuts he made before putting band-aids on them.

"I don't know why I did Harry, I guess I wanted to experience the feeling again. I'm just really sorry."

"It's okay love you can stop apologizing." I lifted him up and carried him into our room. "Do you want to watch a film?" I was already picking one out before I even got an answer.

"Yes please," he whispered already under the blankets.

I put the movie in and as soon as I sat down beside him he was on top of me. Sucking and biting my neck leaving the biggest hickeys he's ever made before as his hands roamed underneath my shirt.

I moaned as he found my weak spot and moaned louder when he started sucking a bruise onto my skin there.

I decided to check with him to see if all this was okay when he unbuttoned my pants and I started getting painfully hard.

"Love, are you sure you want this? I don't want to push you into anything."

"Yes Harry please, I need you. only you please." He whined into my neck and started unzipping my fly.

"Okay sweetheart but you have to tell me if you want to stop or not." I felt him nod into my neck. As soon as he did my control was gone, I pulled off his shirt and started sucking on his chest leaving hickeys there as I pulled his pajama pants down.

My pants were already on the floor along with my boxers and a raging hard-on between my legs.

"One-second babe." I kissed his lips and went to the drawer to get the lube, slowly but surely finding it.

"Ready angel?" I asked and kissed his knee. he nodded and I moved in, spreading the lube on my fingers as I bent his legs more and kissed my way to his entrance. I started sucking on his thigh and listened to his breath hitch when my cool fingers teased over his rim.

"Harry please," he whined trying to push down on my fingers.

"Patience babe," I smirked up at him. As he was trying to glare at me I quickly shoved one finger into his hole making him gasp out and moan loudly.

"Move it please Haz please," he sobbed out, rocking down on my finger.

I slowly pulled out my finger and pushed it back in, feeling him shudder and clench around my finger in pleasure. I picked up the pace the louder he got, each moan encouraging me to go faster.

"Get on with it Haz." he moaned as he tried to jerk himself off.

"No touching. If you touch I won't 'get on with it.'"I said grabbing his hand and pulling it down. He let out a long whine but stayed still anyways.

"Please," Liam breathed out and placed his hand on my chin. I nodded and slowly pulled out my finger. I reached into the drawer of the nightstand and pulled out a condom.

When Liam saw it he shook his head no and put it back in the drawer. "Are you sure darling?" I rubbed my thumb across his bottom lip as he nodded. I nodded back and grabbed the lube and lathered my cock in it.

I placed the tip at his entrance, slowly pushing in until I was completely bottomed out.

"Do you need a minute?" I asked. We just started and I'm already sweating. He nodded, wrapping his arms around my back. I started sucking bruises onto his neck hoping to distract him from any pain he could be feeling.

"You can go." He whispered looking up at me with wide eyes. I leaned down to kiss him before I started. hoping that would calm him more. I slowly pulled out, watching his facial expression the whole time. His face scrunched up in pain.

"Liam I can't do this if you're in pain," I said rubbing my thumb against his cheek where a tear fell.

"No Haz please I want it." He started crying harder and pushed me further into him.

I rubbed my thumb over his hip bone. "Tell me if it's too much yeah?"

"I will I promise." He whispered. I leaned down to press my lips against his before I started again. I pulled fully out before cautiously thrusting back in, trying to make it more pleasurable for him by searching for his prostate.

"Keep doing that." He moaned out, his eyes were closed in ecstasy, I knew I found his prostate. I started to increase the speed of my thrusts and before I knew it I was sweating and Liam was wrecked and fisting his cock; overwhelmed with pleasure.

"Harry, I'm close." He panted out. I leaned down until his mouth was touching my collarbone and mine was touching his.

"I am too angel come for me," I whispered in his ear and moaned loudly, coming on me and him. Feeling him clench around my cock sent me into my orgasm, which seemed to last forever.

I pulled out and grabbed a cloth, getting it wet then cleaning Liam and I off.

"Thank you for doing that for me." He whispered when we were both laying down.

"Anything for you baby doll. I love you."

He said tiredly "I love you too." And we both fell into a peaceful slumber.


	11. Chapter 11

Harry's POV

Ever since that last incident with Liam cutting himself he has regretted it a lot.   
(You would too if your child kept asking you what happened)   
And ever since we've had sex Liam has been all over me in the best ways possible. He's more open to anything sexual and has been more affectionate to me and Tyler.   
I know I haven't been around that long since I left, but I still think Liam and I were meant for each other. We found a kid and kept it as our own, yes, I left but I came back. That in my opinion is love. Liam and Tyler are my life and I can only hope that I'm there's too.  
Today was an ordinary day, I had a few hours of my class and Liam sat at home with Tyler until I came home and then we all spent the day together which is what we were doing now, until the credits of Finding Nemo started playing.

"Okay Ty, bath time!" I exclaimed lifting him up in the air and blowing raspberries onto his little tummy. He laughed loudly about how he was apparently an airplane since I was holding him up above my head.

"Okay bud, grab some toys I'll be right back." I kissed his cheek and got him a towel, by the time I got back he had dumped every bath toy he owned into the large bathtub. I chuckled and set down the towel and got him unclothed then started filling up the tub after putting some soap in it so he could have a bubble bath.   
"Papa get nakey too." He said reaching up to grab at my belt loops but not being able to reach with how small he is and with how long my legs are.   
"No love I'm not getting naked."   
"Pleeeassee." He begged pouting, I sighed.   
"Fine, I'll be right back." I went to my room that was connected to the bathroom and pulled out my pair of swimming trunks and put them on then went to the bathroom again.   
"You not nakey papa!" He exclaimed trying to pull off my swim trunks.   
"Grown ups don't get naked sweet heart." I mumbled turning off the water and sitting down into the bubbles while bringing him in with me.  
"Why?" He put his hands on my chest and looked into my eyes with big eyes.  
"That's a question to ask daddy when we get out." I kissed his cheek and played with him for a while, the whole time he never got off of my lap and even let me get soap in his growing hair without putting up a fight.   
I laid him down on the towel I put out after drying us off and put a nappy on him while he played with my curls and babbling on about something Liam did, pausing every once in a while to giggle at my curls bouncing back when he let go of one.   
"Okay time to get some pajamas onto you." I said lifting him up, I can already sense he was getting tired by how pliant he got and not fighting me on whatever I say, he's at the age where if we tell him to do something he'll ask why or say no.   
"Do you want me or daddy to put you to bed?" He groaned and rubbed his eyes with small fists.   
"You papa." He whispered and closed his eyes as I put on his pajama shirt.   
"Well let's go say goodnight to daddy then." He lifted his arms to be picked up, making it clear that he's very tired, he's also been going through this stage where he's a big boy and daddy and papa don't need to carry him everywhere but his short legs can never keep up with my long legs and would always eventually ask us to pick him up.   
I brought him downstairs and watched as Liam kissed his cheek and like always said goodnight and that he loved him before handing him back over to me where his head gently fell onto my shoulder.   
"Busy day babe?" I asked when he started cuddling closer.   
"Mhmm me and daddy plays lots." I laid him into the crook of my arm with a blanket wrapped around him and sat in the rocking chair and soothing him to sleep slowly but surely.   
"I reckon you did. I also reckon you didn't take a nap for daddy." I raised my eyebrows as he shook his head. "Why's that doll face?"   
"Want plays more with daddy." His speech got more slurred the closer he got to falling asleep. I started running my fingers through his hair that was starting to get curly towards the ends and watched as the soothing motion made him fall into a deep sleep. I held him for a while longer before putting him in his crib and walked to mine and Liam's room, ready for bed almost as much as Tyler was.

"How'd it go?" Liam asked, pulling off his shirt and jeans then hopping into bed.

"Great. I'm thinking tomorrow Tyler and I have a day together, you have to work anyway and I want to make up for that year that I left you guys on your own wondering where I was; I know one day won't fix it but it's a start. Then we can take Tyler to my sisters house and have a me and you day or something?" Liam nodded and stood up, wrapping his arms around my neck after I undressed down to my boxers.

"Why are you doing this love? You're here now and that's all that matters to me and Tyler." He kissed my jaw.   
I shook my head, "I left you alone with a baby that I promised to take care of right with you and I didn't even do that, you had no job or anything and I just left you alone. I have to do something to show how truly sorry I am to both you and Tyler. He asked me the other day why I left him and you. That's one of the hardest things to hear. I have to do something that'll prove to him that I'm sorry for leaving him." I choked out, I felt tears start building up in my eyes and tried blinking them away. Liam nodded and grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me towards his lips.

"Whatever makes you feel better babe. Do what you want to do and if doing a bunch of fun things with Tyler will make you feel better then so be it." He smiled and kissed me one more time. I smiled and kissed him again and again. Eventually we did pull away and started to make our way to the bed.

I laid down and opened my arms, inviting Liam into my embrace. He crawled into my arms and wrapped his arms around my waist. He pressed a kiss to my lips.

"One more?" I asked smirking. He rolled his eyes but kissed me anyways.

"One more?" I asked again. Of course he gave me one more.

"One more?" He kissed me again.

I let him stop and he closed his eyes. As he was almost asleep I pulled him towards my body and whispered quietly into his ear. "One more?" He sighed loudly but kissed me anyway.

"Now shut up and go to sleep curly." He said half asleep. I laughed softly and snuggle into him with my front pressed into his back.

When he was asleep I leaned onto him more. "One more." I whispered quietly and lightly kissed his cheek and fell asleep with him wrapped in my arms. I swear I won't ever be able to let him go ever again.

I woke up the next morning to the alarm clock going off, telling me it was time to wake up Liam and Tyler. I sighed and looked down at my chest to see Liams head laying on it as well with the rest of his body. I rubbed small circles into his back and slowly moved further down until I was rubbing my hand over his bum. He groaned and pushed his face into my chest even more. I frowned and moved my hand to the inside of his boxers, letting the coolness of my rings press into his warm bum. He groaned louder and looked up to me with annoyed sleepy eyes and in that moment Tyler started crying.

"Oh look, I woke you up just in time to take care of our son." I smiled kissing his neck. "No last time I checked you said you were going to take care of Tyler all day." He giggled cutely into my chest. I whined to him for about two minutes before going in to check on what my little boy wanted.   
He was standing up in his crib, gripping the railing with one hand and rubbing his tear filled eyes with the other.  
"Oh sweetheart, what's the matter with my lovely boy?" I picked him up and he instantly stopped crying and took a deep breath before looking at me.  
"Where daddy?" His mood completely changing.   
"He's in my room but first you have to get changed then you can see daddy." I set him on his changing table and started taking off his clothes.   
"You and I are going to spend the whole day together while daddy's at work then you're gonna go to aunties house for a while doesn't that sound like fun baby?" I asked lifting him in the air once he had a new nappy on. He nodded frantically and grabbed onto my curls and tried putting them in his mouth. "No lets not do that!" I laughed pulling his fist away from his mouth.  
"Alright sweetie lets go see daddy!" I said excitedly and laughed as he yelled excitedly, squirming around in my arms. I bounced him in my arms lightly on the small walk towards my room as he played with my curls, lightly tugging on them.   
I walked into mine and Liam's room and saw Liam pulling a shirt over his head. Tyler's head whipped around as soon as he saw the paint that he knows only belongs to mine and Liam's walls.   
"Daddy!" He squealed happily reaching out for Liam. He smiled and grabbed him, swooping him up and into his arms.   
"I has question." Tyler said seriously to Liam. 

"Oh yeah? What is it?" 

"Why grown ups not get nakey?"   
Let's just say Liam wasn't very fond of me in that moment.  
\----------------------------------------------  
Two hours later Liam had to leave for work leaving Tyler and I alone. I was kind of nervous for this day because I want my son to love me as much as he loves Liam and I know he doesn't right now.  
"Alright kiddo what should we do?" He smiled up at me and stood up.

"We go park?" I got up and started sliding on my boots.

"Of course baby love! Let's get your shoes on and jacket and go." I got his shoes and jacket on without him fussing much and started going.   
"Want me to carry you or walk?" He lifted his arms in the air signaling he wanted to be carried. I picked him up and continued walking.

When we got there a lady was there with her daughter.   
"Tyler! Is that you love?" The woman said walking towards us. "Who's this Tyler?" She asked looking at me after she picked him up. 

"Papa." She looked at me with a small smile and looked at Tyler.

"Oh good! Why don't you go play with Lux, she missed you." She set Tyler down and I watched as he ran over. 

"Tyler! You know not to play with kids you don't kn-" 

"He knows me and my daughter." The lady cut me off. 

"Who are you exactly?" 

"I'm Lou, Liam's friend. I met him here with Tyler a while ago and have been good friends since. So that's where Tyler goes for his play dates with a friend.

"Oh okay uh well I'm Harry styles Liam's boyfriend and Tyler's other dad." I gave her my hand to shake but she just shook her head and smiled before wrapping me up into a hug, it was a nice one like a moms hug, the kind that's really nice and warm and makes you feel secure. There was no doubt in my mind that she wasn't Lux's mom.  
After I got to know Lou a little bit her and I went and played with lux and Tyler until he got tired then we went and got ice cream and went home and watched movies the rest of the day until it was time to put him to bed. 

"Did you have fun today baby?" I whispered as I swayed back and forth with him in my arms. He nodded and looked up at me.

"Yeah, need to play more with yous papa." He said half asleep.

"Yeah we do don't we. I'll try to make more time with you sweetheart. But tomorrow, we're gonna pack up your suitcase and you're gonna go see gemma for a while. Sounds fun yeah?" He nodded slowly and his eyes fluttered shut. Minutes later he fell asleep with one hand holding my fingers and the other one tangled up in my shirt. I finally felt like I had my son back.


	12. Chapter 12

Liam's POV

We woke up at 7 in the morning to get Tyler to Gemma's by 10 and be home around lunch time. Tyler's still asleep and we decided to let him sleep and just bring him to her house in his pajamas. He's not even two yet so I'm pretty sure Gemma won't care if he's in his pajamas.

"Babe, can you go get Tyler? Just change his diaper and try to make sure he doesn't wake up so there isn't any problems on the way there and I'll pack some food just in case he gets hungry on the way down." Harry said wrapping his arms around my waist from behind and kissed my neck. I nodded and turned then kissed him then left to go get Tyler.

I walked into Tylers room and carefully picked him up, putting his stuffed animal back in his arms to soothe him when he almost woke up. I laid him on the changing mat and unzipped his footie pajamas and quickly undid the diaper and changed him into a new one then zipped the footie pajamas back up.

When I walked downstairs with Tyler in my arms Harry already had the car seat out and ready to go (Tyler's a small baby and can still fit into smaller car seats) and some food and a sippy cup full of juice. I laid him down in it and put a blanket over him and gave him his stuffed animal again.

"Alright so I made us breakfast so we can eat really quick so hopefully we can be home sooner and spend the rest of the day together." Harry said smiling at me and grabbed my waist and kissed me slowly. "We better get eating then." I pulled away and got my plate and sat down.

We finished eating and walked to the vehicle with Tyler in his car seat on my arm. Harry opened the back door and helped me get the car seat strapped in, as we were strapping him in he started to stir.

"Papa? Daddy? Where we go?" He asked confused and clearly still tired.

"It's okay pumpkin we're gonna go to auntie Gemmas house for a while remember? Just go back to sleep we'll turn on a movie too." Harry said getting a movie ready on the portable dvd player we had. Tyler nodded and leaned his head against the seat and closed his eyes, slowly drifting back to sleep.

The ride was silent for the most part besides the movie in the back playing and Tyler making quiet noises every once in a while.

"Li?"

"Hmm?" I said looking at him, he looked nervous.

"Do you still love me? And when I left did you love me even when I was gone? Like be completely honest please." Towards the end of his sentence his voice cracked.

"Honestly H, I've never stopped, you taught me things no one else has and you changed my life in a way no one else has been able to. I loved you a year ago, I loved you six months ago, I loved you two months ago, I loved you yesterday, I love you today and I'll probably love you tomorrow. I can't ever stop loving you." I said. He sniffled quietly and wiped at his eyes, trying not to get emotional.

"What have I taught you?" He let out a small laugh and shook his head.

I traced my fingers over his arm as I talked, "you taught me more about life than anyone ever has believe it or not. You've struggled a lot with your family and your past and you taught me how to be strong because I've seen you work out but you've also taught me how to be strong mentally and that's how I made it through out the whole year you were gone. I will always love you until the end of time and I really hope you realize that." He nodded and wiped at his face again.

"You know when I was gone I did try to figure out my life but I wasn't a great person either, I really beat myself up over everything. I took a lot of drugs and almost died because of it but then I started writing and I stayed with my friend for a while and he helped with my drug addiction which was right before I came back because I wanted to be recovered before I came back to you two, I couldn't let you or Ty see me like that. Especially when I was trying to stop doing it. But I'm okay now and I'm as happy as I'll ever be with my two favorite boys." He smiled at me and kissed my hand then turned back to the road, focusing almost all his attention on it.

"I love you H, so much, always make me so proud" I said kissing his shoulder gently. "I love you too Li, so so very much." He whispered against my hand.

After that it was silent until we got to Gemmas who came running at Harry and throwing herself into his arms who thankfully caught her and wrapped his arms around her, even though they've already reunited Gemma still worries about him. As they had their moment I went over to get Tyler who was still mostly asleep.

"Come on lovely, auntie's waiting for you." I cooed running my knuckles up and down his cheek. He just frowned at my cold hand and lifted his arms to be picked up. I lifted him out of the seat and into my arms, he laid his head onto my shoulder and stuck his thumb in his mouth trying to fall back asleep even though at this point he probably won't.

"There's my little babycakes! " Gemma squealed looking at Tyler who laughed in delight and reached out for her, making grabby hands for her to take him. She grabbed him and threw him gently up into the air and caught him above her head then lowered him down and kissed all over his face, making giggles fall out of his mouth.

"Missed you." He mumbled shyly after he stopped laughing.

"Oh I missed you too baby doll! I was thinking about you the other day and decided that we should bake a cake and a ton of cookies today and get all hyped up on sugar then bring you back to your daddies!" He clapped excitedly and giggled loudly.

"Alright sweetheart daddy and I are gonna go then so you and auntie Gemma can get to cooking, be good for her yeah?" Harry said, kissing him on his head and wrapping him up into a hug, I heard muffled I love you's and I'll miss you's between them as they said goodbye, then Tyler did the same to me. Harry went to go get his bag and I went over to Gemma.

"Thank you very much for taking him, Harry and I just need time to ourselves." I said, hugging her.

"Oh of course Liam you know how much I love this baby." She smiled and hit my arm lightly.   
"Alright here's his bag now I think me and Liam are taking off yeah?" He looked at me and put a hand on my back.   
"Yeah I'm ready to go." We all hugged each other again and said our goodbyes and then we were off.   
"What did you even have in mind when you decided to send him off to Gemmas?" I asked grabbing Harry's hand.   
He kissed the back of my hand gently.   
"You'll just have to figure that one out for yourself Liam." He winked at me with a small smirk on his face.   
Some days I hate this boy but really I love him even more.


	13. Chapter 13

Harry's POV

I looked over to find Liam sleeping in the seat as we drove the long way home his breathing even and deep. He looked beautiful when his face would change expressions I'm guessing about what's going on in his dreams but honestly, if you ask me, he always looked beautiful.   
All though he was sleeping the hold he had on my hand didn't let up, I tried pulling it away but he grabbed onto it tighter and made a small groaning sound until I put my hand back in his.   
When we got home I didn't bother waking him up knowing he's had troubles sleeping, instead I sat there for a few minutes, taking in the view of Liam's sleeping form, the way his lips formed a slight pout and the way his nose would scrunch up as dreams played in his head like a movie.   
Once I was done staring at him I got out and ran over to his side, picking him up bridal style and bringing him inside our home.  
Our home.  
For a while it was Liam's and Tyler's home now it's Harry's, Liam's, and Tyler's home which sent butterflies of happiness all through out my body. I couldn't be any happier with our little family, my Liam and my little boy, how did I ever leave? All I know is that it was a huge mistake that I don't ever plan on making again.

I gently laid Liam down onto the couch and put a blanket over him before going back outside to grab my phone (which I seemed to always forget when we got out of the car but Liam usually did a good job at reminding me to get it).

I went back in to find Liam sitting up rubbing his eyes.

"Hey darling, had a nice nap?" I bent down next to the couch and ran my fingers through his soft hair. He nodded while pushing lightly up into the hand that was in his hair. He stretched his arms out towards me, clearly wanting me to cuddle him so, I wrapped my arms around his waist as he wrapped his arms around my neck and wrapped his legs around my waist.

Once I had a good grip on him I stood up and turned and sat on the couch Liam still holding onto me like it was his last day seeing me, his head pressed into my shoulder and arms and legs secure around me.

"You okay love?" I whispered pulling away to look at his face.

"Yeah I'm just thinking."

"About what?"

"Why'd you come back? Like back to Tyler and I?" He looked down at my hands and played with my rings.

"Because I needed control in my life, I needed you and Tyler because if I didn't have you guys I wasn't me, I dated a fucking girl when I wasn't with you, Liam. A girl. With a vagina. I don't date girls and she was too much and wanted sex and threatened me if I didn't give it to her which stressed me out so much that I did drugs that you know I've been stopping that habit for you guys even though it's really fucking hard. I love you guys and you guys keep me sane, yes I am worried that she's gonna do some crazy shit to ruin us because that's been her goal but as long as I'm with you two now, even with the threat of her lurking around, nothing else matters, not even her."

Liam had tears in his eyes and laid his head on my chest sniffling and trying not to cry. "I love you too H, so much, and if she comes back then we'll figure it out and deal with her and I'll be there to support you until you're fully recovered from your drug addiction, we can do this and I'll be by you the whole time, plus your writing will get you far, your journals are incredible." He smiled at me and grabbed my hair and pulled me close to kiss him.  
"Thank you lovely, I'm glad I'm with you two again and not where I was before." I pulled him close, so close he was sitting on top of my thighs and there was no gap between us.   
"What do you want to do today now that it's just us?" He asked looking at me. I felt a smirk find its way onto my face.   
I pulled him closer to me and whispered in his ear.   
"Oh I had a few ideas princess"


	14. Chapter 14

Harrys POV

The next day I woke up next to Liam, both of us completely naked and him laying across me, face pressed into my shoulder, leg around my waist and one hand resting in my hair, his breathing was deep, indicating that he was still sleeping, I also woke up with several pictures of Tyler from Gemma, in one he had flour all over him, in another he was licking batter off a spoon and in another he was sitting behind a tray full of cookies, smiling proudly at the camera, I smiled and replied back.   
'Tell him his daddies are very proud of how good he did :)' -H

I set down my phone and looked back at Liam, admiring the way he sleeps, he sleeps like an angel, he always looks so peaceful even though it seems like he always has a tornado of good and bad thoughts going through his head at every second, he's still so so beautiful and calms the storm inside of me too.

After tracing my fingers against his warm skin for a while I decided to get up and shower, I moved slowly so I wouldn't wake up Liam and walked into the bathroom. I got in the shower, I was alone for a while, standing under the spray just thinking while enjoying the peace and quiet of not having a baby around (don't get me wrong I love Tyler but some days it's nice to get a little peace and quiet).   
I heard the bathroom door open and didn't even have to look to see who it was, I knew it was Liam. All of a sudden two arms wrapped around me and I heard him humming I let out a laugh   
"Well good morning my love" I said turning around and shoving him under the spray and running my fingers in his hair.  
"Morning" he said groggily, still half asleep.

"Did you sleep okay?" I poured some shampoo into my hands and massaged my hands into his scalp.

"Better than I have in a while yeah, how'd you sleep?" He rubbed at one of his eyes and leaned his head on my chest as I ran my fingers through my own hair.

"Good, but we have things to do today so I need you to wake up a bit more love." I stood under the water to get all the soap out and pulled Liam with me getting the soap out of his hair too.

"What do we have to do today?" He whined, a pout working it's way onto his face, I laughed at how much of a child he looked in that moment.

"Well we have to do some cleaning since Ty's gone and won't make another mess right after we clean it and I was going to take you to the gym with me, I still remember our conversation about you getting more fit physically" He let out a deep overly dramatic breath and leaned his body against mine.

"But Hazzy"

"No buts Liam, you wanted to get more muscle so here's your chance." I said, he let out a long whine, pushing his face into my neck, I laughed at how childish he was acting in this moment considering he was usually very responsible and mature.

"Fine, but on one condition."

"Alright what is it"

"You can't wear a shirt the whole time and you blow me right now" A small smile made its way onto his face and I laughed.

"Deal" I kissed his lips and then dropped to my knees and well, you know what happens next

To say that Liam wasn't excited to workout was an understatement. He really didn't want to, he doesn't like when plans all of a suddenly change on him, his plans were to stay in bed with me all day, so no he was not at all wanting to do anything that required movement or facing the world.

I dragged him along behind me, him whining the whole time about how I'm such a bad boyfriend

You hate me, you wouldn't take me to this disgusting place if you loved me

I blew you and swallowed, if that isn't love then I don't know what is babe.

That shut him up quick.

We walked into the gym, I signed in since I'm a regular to the gym I took him to, I saw him looking around, there was males and females, all were very physically fit, abs toned and bulging biceps, don't get me wrong Liam is strong but he hasn't been able to get to a gym for over a year having to take care of Tyler so I understand that he felt intimidated. I wrapped my arm around him, as soon as I did he shrunk further into my side. I kissed the top of his head and rubbed his arm, guiding him into the mens locker room.

I opened up my locker and threw my stuff in there including my shirt that I was wearing and turned and faced Liam.

"Do I put my stuff in there too or?" He trailed off, I laughed.

"Of course love, you aren't gonna use some random locker because I guarantee you one of those guys out there will take it." He swallowed hard and nodded, gently putting his stuff in and pulling out two water bottles then closing the locker door. We left and I took him over to the punching bag.

"Alright babe now put your fists up, and hit it as hard as possible" He hit it and it barely moved. "No, put your thumb over your knuckles like this" I showed him how his fist should look like. "Now take a good swing at it, think of something or someone that you hate and pretend they're standing right in front of you, pretend the bag is there face and just take all your anger out on it." I saw a look of anger flash across his face for a split second before a determined look covered it, he swung his arm and hit the bag hard, harder than I had expected, I was surprised but it was a pleasant surprise as the bag swung back and forth.

"Fuck yeah babe, that's what I'm talking about!" I said smiling and laughing kissing his cheek. He had a slight blush covering his face. "Alright keep that same thing but this time we're gonna work on uppercuts" I continued teaching him what to do, going through all the things I've been taught when I was just a beginner in boxing, Liam was a fast learner, watching every single move I made like I was the only person in the whole gym, he was so so good at learning things but putting force into it was where he wasn't there yet.

"Can we be done please?" He pouted after he looked at his knuckles and noticed they were starting to bruise pretty bad.

"Yeah, yeah we can be done love, next time we'll wrap your hands too, for now I'll just get you some ice and probably some lotion" I frowned noticing his skin cracking. He nodded and took my hand in his gently and we walked back to the locker room.

"Was it as bad as you were making it seem?" I smiled up at him since I was sitting on a bench lotioning his hands while he stood in front of me holding a bag of ice.

"No I guess not but it still wasn't as fun as laying in bed would've been" I laughed at the pout that was so visible in his voice.

"Well my love, we can go home and watch some movies then" I placed a kiss on his forehead gently.

"Coffee first please?" He looked up at me through his eyelashes, an innocent look on his face, I sighed.

"Of course lovely" He grabbed my hand and practically pulled me out of the gym, me laughing the whole time.

"Is that all for you today?" The woman behind the counter asked. I nodded pulling out my card, not even listening to the price of our coffees. "Alright then, here you go, have a great day!" She said overly cheerful, I smiled and grabbed both mine and Liams drinks, I walked over to the counter beside the counter that you order at and grabbed two straws since Liam was waiting for me in the car since he was apparently too tired to get out and walk inside.

As I was grabbing my straws I heard female voices behind me, loud voices, voices that make you want to stick a knife in your ears because that would be less painful than the high pitched annoying voices. I turned around and gave them a quick glare, not even looking at them.

"Oh my god Harry is that you?!" One of the voices of the girls said.

I knew that voice. All too well.

It was her voice.


	15. Chapter 15

Harry's POV  
"Oh my god Harry is that you?!" I sighed and closed my eyes, hoping that horrible girl wouldn't try to talk to be again.   
"Harry? It's me Lindsay." Slowly I turned around and faced her, this girl was the girl who I was with when I wasn't with Liam which was a huge mistake, almost the biggest mistake of my life but leaving Liam and Tyler is definitely my biggest mistake.   
"Hi...Lindsay." I felt awkward, I was hoping to never see her face again and now she's here, close to my family, my home.  
"We have so much to catch up on Harry, how long has it been now? Like 3 months?" I cringed at what my life was like just months ago.

"Yeah, it has been about three months" I started walking backwards, she started to get almost a panicked look on her face.

"Wait Harry, let me give you my number so we can talk more!" And me being the polite person I am, I gave her my number. 

"By the way Harry, I figured I should tell you." The worried look was back on her face. "I'm pregnant. And you could possibly be the father." She said and bit her lip in a nervous way. I just nodded, I opened and closed my mouth trying to speak but I just couldn't.

I turned around and sped out of that coffee shop, I heard her say my name but faintly, the ringing in my ears was too intense. Another kid? I already have one I can't just go and support another, I don't have the finances for that. Plus every time her and I had sex I wore a condom so it just doesn't make sense to me. Maybe it broke? Maybe one time I didn't and I just can't remember? All I know is that I had to figure this out.

I got in the vehicle and instantly Liam could tell something was off about me, the tension around me was so intense it was just radiating off of me. "Harry, what's wrong babe?" He put his hand on my arm, I leaned my head onto the steering wheel and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath.

"I saw my ex in there, the girl, Lindsay and she just said some things that isn't exactly what I wanted to hear."

"What did she say?" He took his hand off my shoulder, his worry prominent.

"She told me she's pregnant, and there's a possibility that it could be mine." I took my head off the steering wheel and looked at him, he was still facing me but was looking down, he had about the same reaction I did but he looked even more upset and kind of hurt. He turned and faced forward, not even sparing a glance my way.

With that I drove us home, I figured we could figure things out easier at home than in the car and I want to make sure Liam is okay, I just wish this was some nightmare that I could just wake up from, I've already hurt him enough and now this, I have to be the worst boyfriend on the planet.

We got home and he immediately left the vehicle, I didn't even have it fully turned off before he jumped out. I slammed my hand on the dashboard then ran my hands through my hair, what did I do to deserve this? What did Liam do to deserve such a fucked up boyfriend? 

After questioning my entire existence I went inside to go find Liam, who was surprisingly not in our room, he was sitting at the kitchen table, tears silently falling as he stared at the table, arms crossed over his chest. His facial expression was blank, it was almost scary, I've never seen him look so hollow.

"I wasn't going to go to our room, figured you'd wanna talk." I let out a choked out laugh, shaking my head. Of course he knew that, he knows everything because he's perfect. I kicked off my shoes and walked over to the table, sitting across from him.

I wanted to grab his hand so badly but I figured he wouldn't want me touching him. But as soon as I was gonna settle for having my hands just on my lap, he grabbed one in each hand.

"Harry, I love you so much, I've been in love with you for about two years now and you know that, if you actually did impregnate her, you will have to take responsibility and you know that. I won't leave you though, It was a mistake you made when you left me, maybe if we were still together I'd leave but you did this at a bad time in your life, and I want you to take responsibility, and I promise to be by your side the entire time because I know I won't be able to give you up, Tyler and I need you. So please, just do the right thing." I had tears in my eyes, my love for this man was so intense and the fact that he's accepting of something so huge like this, usually people would just leave me like always but Liam, is truly a piece of art.

"Baby, I just love you so much it's unreal." I pulled him up so he was standing and wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling him close to me, our chests were touching. I cupped his cheek in my hand and rubbed my thumb across his skin. "I couldn't have asked for anyone better." And with that I kissed him, with more passion than I ever have.

He pulled away and leaned his forehead on mine, eyes closed and smiling. "Before we instantly assume you knocked her up can we see if it's actually yours or not?"

I laughed and kissed him again. "Of course love, anything for you" And kissed him again.


	16. Chapter 16

Harrys POV (Soon it will be Liams I promise)

Today was a pretty hectic day for Liam and I, today we were getting Tyler, our best friends, Louis and Niall were coming over and today I was going to convince Lindsay to schedule a paternity test, I know it's maybe not the best for the baby to do a paternity test while they're still in the womb but I don't want to assume that this baby is mine for six more months then get crushed to figure out it isn't mine.

We both quickly got dressed, Liam likes it if I pick out his outfits so I chose a white shirt with black jeans, he chose mine which was a grey shirt, black jeans and a beanie to hopefully tame my hair a little bit (it didn't).

We were on our way to get Tyler, Liam driving as I texted Lindsay.

'Hey, would you want to meet up tonight? You can come over and eat dinner with Li, Tyler and I' -H

'Of course, I know we have a lot to discuss and I'm sure Liam has some questions to ask too'-Lindsay

I sighed and set my phone in my lap, looking out the window. "Is she coming tonight?" Liam asked, glancing towards me.

"Yeah, so I suggest thinking of questions to ask her." I said getting ready to get out of the car since we were almost to Gemmas driveway. He nodded and turned into the driveway.

I hopped out, going to Gemmas car to get his car seat (that girl needs to learn how to lock her vehicle) and I put it into Liam and I's car, Liam was already inside because he always wants to be the first one to hold Tyler which honestly, I don't blame him. If he left me a single parent with a baby I would feel as though I should get the first kisses and the first hugs.

I walked inside and lightly shut the door so Tyler wouldn't hear me, I can hear him and Liam playing, his high pitched laughter echoing through out the house and the smell of cookies still lingering.

I knew where they'd be, in the living room where all the toys are, not like the sound of Tyler's voice couldn't lead me to him by himself but that's just a common place for them to be.

Quietly I walked in there, he didn't even here me come in since he was so focused on playing, a baby's interesting, the way they work is very fascinating, they can either be aware of every single thing around them, or they're not aware of anything at all besides one thing. And to me that's just amazing.

I slowly walked in the living room, trying to make sure Tyler didn't hear me. When he wasn't expecting it I slowly reached out and picked him up and started gently tossing him in the air.

"Ahhh papa got you didn't he baby" I yelled making Tyler giggle like crazy, putting his fingers in his mouth and with the other hand reaching down and grabbing one of my untamed curls. I kissed all over his face making him giggle loudly and push at my face. Suddenly our little moment was interrupted by Gemma walking in, her hair in a messy braid and a smile on her face. with her was a plastic container filled with cookies.

"Nice to see you guys, he was great the whole time he was here, he's such a little angel. Isn't that right baby, you're a little angel huh honey?" She came up and tickled Tyler's belly with her manicured nails making him throw his head back, almost hitting mine and erupting into a fit of giggles.   
"Well, that's what we like to hear. I'm glad he didn't cause you any trouble" Liam said, standing up from his position on the floor, smiling at Gemma. "I'm going to go grab the bag and run to the toilet really quick then we can go" I nodded and kissed Liam's cheek and shifted Tyler into my left arm. I watched Liam walk away before turning to Gemma.   
"Listen, I really really do appreciate you taking him, I think Liam and I needed it. You know, you'd make a great mother some day Gemma" I grinned at her and she laughed lightly.

"I don't want my own kids I'll just steal yours" she said running her fingers through Tyler's brown hair. I chuckled at that, shaking my head lightly. "Could you guys stay a minute? Just so we can catch up a little bit? You guys are always moving and I just want to sit for a minute with you guys" she pouted, the same pout I give Liam when I want him to say yes to something even though I know he'll do it anyway. And I was giving in instantly.

"Okay yeah, we can stay for a bit to talk but we have our friends coming over in a bit so we have to get back in time for that" I looked down at Tyler as he reached up to pull my beanie off of my head.

Liam came down and I told him we were staying a bit, so we decided to sit outside. We talked about anything and everything even in the short amount of time we were there. At one point Gemma went and sat on me, claiming that 'if I can't move then we can't leave' Liam and I both chuckled at that and I wrapped my arms around her waist and hugged her.

"Gemma we have to leave. You can always come visit" she pouted again at this and I saw Liam slowly pull out his phone.

"I'll take a picture of you two so then when we leave we can send you that picture and we won't seem so far away" Liam suggested, setting Tyler onto the ground so he can take a proper picture. Gemma fixed her braid slightly, moving it to the right, her and I both looked at the camera and smiled. Liam took a few pictures and sent the best one to Gemma. After that we all hugged and said our goodbyes, strapped Tyler in and we were off again back home.

The ride was silent, I can tell Liam was thinking about this Lindsay thing as much as I was. When he thinks you can just feel his mind racing by his facial expression. His left hand was on the steering wheel while his right was rubbing his face, his eyes squinted in a concentrated way, making wrinkles on his forehead appear.

I suddenly reached out and started rubbing at his forehead wrinkles, making him jump slightly. "Harry what are you doing to me?" He glanced over at me with a small smile on his face. But it wasn't his usual Liam smile.

"I'm trying to get rid of these forehead wrinkles, all this worry seems to have made you age thirty years love" He slightly laughed at that and grabbed my hand and kissing the back of it. He put my hand down on the console between us but I grabbed his thigh making him jump again. "You're pretty on edge today babe" I said, rubbing my hand up and down his thigh.

"Just have a lot on my mind." I nodded. Not knowing what else to say. The rest of the drive was silent for the most part besides the quiet sound of Tyler playing. Tonight's definitely going to be interesting.

We get home and the door's unlocked. We always lock the door when we leave so I knew Louis and Niall were here, they're the only ones that have spare keys. We walk in, me carrying Tyler's bag and Liam carrying Tyler. We hear the sound of Nialls laughter and Louis loud voice as soon as we walk in, usually we'd find it a bit annoying with how loud they were, but right now it seems as though that's the one thing that rids some of our stress for now.

"Hey lads!" Louis yelled once we walked in. Niall instantly reached his arms out to hold Tyler so Liam passed him over to him.

"Hey mate, nice of you guys to come early" I chuckled messing slightly with my rings as I felt the tension leave my body. After that we talked for a long time. That's all we usually do is talk. Then Liam and I went to cook supper for our night with Lindsay which when we told them what was going on, they were happy to leave knowing there was going to be a lot of tension.

We were just finishing up cooking when the door bell rang, Tyler looked up from where he was playing and stood up and started running towards the door. "I get I get I get!" He chanted. When he ran passed me I swooped him up into my arms.

"No baby you and I will both get it" I kissed his forehead and opened the door, revealing Lindsay. Flashbacks popped into my head left and right just like they always do when I see her. "Hello, come on in." I opened up the door so she can enter and she smiled, taking off her shoes.

"It smells amazing in here, Liam you sure are some cook" she said going up to him and smiling. All he did was nod.

We all sat down and started eating. We mainly talked to Tyler or had small talk. Either way the tension was rising fast, Liam giving me these side glances, hinting for me to ask her, but I had to wait for the right time. It's not something easy to ask.

Once we had almost finished eating I decided I should ask, I felt my face get hot and sweaty and my hands got clammy, my heart beating a mile per minute.

"So Lindsay, Liam and I were thinking, and we think it'd be best for all of us if you go and take a paternity test so we know for sure the baby's mine or not." I held my breath, my heart beating out of my chest with nerves. She sat there, staring at me then eventually looking at her plate. I don't know how long she was looking at it but it was a long ass time.

After a few minutes she looked up and into my eyes.   
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
"No."


	17. Chapter 17

Liam's POV  
I don't know what to think. What to do or what to say. I sat there and carefully set down my fork and looked at Harry. He looked pissed. His face was turning red and his fists were slightly clenched but he was holding himself together.

"Why not?" He asked setting down his fork.

"Because it's my body and I can choose to do whatever I want," she said but it sounded more like a question, you know that thing snobby bitches do. All of a sudden Harry got angry and he pounded his fists against the table and pushed his plate, utensils, and cup onto the floor, breaking the plate and cup while water and food went everywhere.

"God damn you, Lindsay! Why do you do this shit to me?!" Harry screamed, veins in his neck popping out, I ran over and grabbed Tyler and set him in the living room, closed the baby gates and went back in. "All the fucking time you just look for an opportunity to screw me over and the one time, the one fucking time I'm happy you pull this shit!" He pointed his finger at her and she stood up.

"I'm ruining your life? Harry, I'm pregnant with possibly your kid! And your life is ruined?" She screamed in his face pointing her finger at him. He was livid, I could see it. He grabbed her finger and squeezed it hard making her yelp in pain and threw her arm down.

"Get the test or stay out of my life. You will not compromise my relationship with Liam or my son." He got close to her, so close they were almost touching. His face was red and his eyes turned a dark green, not the sparkly green he usually has but a green I've never seen before.

"I will decide if I get it or not. You'll just have to accept whatever decision I make" with that she got up and grabbed her purse, walking out of the house and leaving.

I turned and looked at Harry. He was gripping the chair hard and was breathing heavily with his eyes shut. I walked over to him.

"Harry?" I put my hand on his shoulder, as soon as I did he quickly turned and slapped me on my cheek. I gasped in pain and put my hand on my cheek, quickly backing away from him.

"Oh my god, Liam I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I promise I didn't mean to do that!" The dark green in his eyes was gone, instead, there was remorse. All I wanted to do was run to the car with Tyler and leave for the night or lock myself away but I couldn't just leave Harry, even if he hurt me he's still going through a lot and needs me.

Tears filled in my eyes and slid down my cheeks, I sat on the floor and pulled my knees to my chest staring at Harry as he slowly moved closer.

"Li, you know I didn't mean to do it love, let me see come on" he pleaded with tears now running down his face. He took my wrist, making me sob not wanting him to touch me. He pulled my hand away from my cheek and saw the handprint that was left on my face. He let out a choked sob and fell onto his knees.

"Why, why do I always have to fuck up! Why am I so fucking stupid!" He yelled leaning his head into his hands. My heart broke hearing all this but at the same time, I still didn't know whether to comfort him or to leave him.

I sniffled slightly and moved closer to him, placing my hand in his long curls. He instantly leaned into my touch and almost collapsed into me, and I knew then that this is a situation I couldn't just abandon him in. Running away would only make things worse. 

"Haz, how about you clean up the mess on the floor and I'll go sit with Tyler. Once he's asleep we'll talk more about this, okay?" He nodded and moved his hands so I could see his face. It was a splotchy red color and his eyes were bloodshot. I stood up and started walking towards the living room when he gently grabbed my arm. I had a sudden urge to pull away from him but didn't. 

"Li, you know I love you so much right? I would never intentionally hurt you like that and I am so, so damn sorry." Harry said. He reached out like he was going to pull me towards him, but then put his hands back down. Instead of answering with words, I just nodded and pulled him into me. His body started shaking as he tried to hold back his sobs. After a few moments, I pulled away and wiped the tears off of his face and kissed him softly. Even though he hit me, I understand that although our trust is still slightly strained, he needs to know I'm here for him. Lindsay was a part of a very dark time in Harry's life, and I'm sure her being in our lives would be enough to make Harry want to go back to those old habits he once had; this never justifies violence towards someone you love, but I feel so strongly for him that I'm not going to let one instance ruin everything.

"I love you too babe, it was an accident that's all, it's okay. I need you to be strong, just until Ty goes to bed." Harry nodded and kissed me once more before going to grab the broom to clean up the broken glass and food. I made my way to the living room, hoping that Tyler only played while we were talking. 

I approached the living room to find him standing up by the gate, trying to get over to see what was going on. I lifted him into my arms and sat down in the rocking chair with him, holding him close to my chest and running my hands through his curly brown hair. If anything, the only child that could almost be proved to be Harry's was Tyler. Even though we know Harry is not the biological dad of Tyler, I couldn't help but notice how so many things about him were similar to Harry. He has these dark brown curls that are nearly uncontrollable, along with that he had small baby ringlets closer to the end of his hair just like Harry. We've also noticed that he's starting to develop dimples in his cheeks when he smiles, just like Harry. Besides the physical aspects, his attitude is just like Harry. He can be sassy at times and knows how to do the famous 'I want something' Harry pout (they both know I'm a sucker for it). 

"Where Papa?" Tyler looked at me with curious eyes, all the while shooting curious glances down the hall, probably expecting Harry.

"Papas cleaning baby, he's okay. Should we get you in pajamas? I bet papa will read you a bedtime story." Tyler nodded his head eagerly. I stood up and walked to Tylers room. Ever since Harry came back, he has done much better at sleeping in his crib. I do miss cuddling with him at night, but having Harry by my side definitely helps. 

Once I got him in his pajamas I walked back down and into the now clean kitchen. Harry had just finished washing the dishes from dinner. I looked down at the floor, you couldn't even tell anything had happened. That's another quality of Harry's that I love, he actually enjoys cleaning so when he does he makes everything perfect. He turned around, dishtowel thrown over his shoulder. His face looked a lot less splotchy, I could still tell he had cried but that's only because I have him memorized, most wouldn't be able to tell because he is so good at concealing his emotions and calming himself down. I almost envy that about him. 

"Wanna read Ty to bed babe?" I asked Harry, he smiled, dimples showing and everything. 

"Of course, I would love nothing more than to read to my favorite little boy!" He lifted Tyler out of my arms and held him high above his head, making Tyler giggle loudly. He kissed our little boy on the cheek, then wrapped his arm around my waist and kissed my cheek. "Meet me in the bedroom?" I nodded and watched him go up to Tyler's room then walked into our room where I waited for him. 

I knew it would take a while, Tyler almost always gets another burst of energy right before we're putting him to bed, so I knew I would be in our room for a while. I decided to look at Harry's journal. We have had a discussion on whether or not it's okay for me to look at it, and he said it's fine, stating 'we need to be as open as we can with one another to make things work'. I oftentimes just flip through it and read the page I land on, his writings are pretty similar; they all only take up one page and it's usually written to someone or something. His mind is very beautiful and creative, especially when he writes to inanimate objects, like one time he wrote to his old bedroom from when he was a young boy and the memories associated with it.

This one was like many others, it was written to me. In the year he was gone, he wrote to me multiple times a week. If he had a lot going on during a week he would write multiple times to me, telling me everything; but if it was a week that was slow or he wasn't sober enough to remember it he wouldn't write as much. I'm not sure which I prefer, as his busy weeks were almost as bad as his slow. 

This one I had not seen yet, so I decided to read it; reading these are almost like the key to his past self, he didn't like verbalizing the things he went through as much; he preferred me reading it because he can express things better on paper. I can tell just by how messy the handwriting was, that this letter was going to be different, it looked as though his hand shook the whole time he wrote it. So, I took a deep breath and prepared myself for what I might see, then started reading

Dear Liam, 

It has now been six months since I had last seen you or our baby boy. I thought by now, this whole leaving thing would be a lot easier, but it's not. Are things easier for you? I wonder a lot what Ty looks like now, I bet he's grown so much. It's crazy to think about the life I could have had if I didn't leave. Do you know what I also think about? How you used to cope with living. I used to wonder why you hurt yourself and why you wanted to die and all that, but now I think I get it. I lost my boys, my family, the love of my life. The only thing I have now is alcohol and drugs. Is this life really worth living any more? I've found myself asking that time and time again and so far I don't see a reason why I should be here anymore. Yesterday, I cut myself. I wasn't sure what to expect when I did it, but I actually liked it. Maybe it's because I told myself I deserve it because the pain I felt is nothing compared to the pain I know I've caused you and Tyler on a daily bases. I'm thinking of ending it all, Liam. Tonight seems like such a good night to do it too, I've moved on to stronger drugs, I know if I overdose they'll kill me. Maybe, just maybe, I can forgive myself then. Maybe then I won't be a problem to you, or to Tyler, hell then I won't be a problem to my own mum or sister since I'm sure they're worried sick, I haven't spoken to them since I was with you.

What I'm trying to say my love, is that if you hear that I killed myself, don't feel guilty or feel like you should have saved me. You were everything, I truly couldn't ask for better. I should have married you. I should have been supporting you, I am nothing but a shell of a man, and you deserve someone who's whole. If this works, just know that my love for you was never conditional. You are everything I wish to have been, resilient, strong, beautiful, courageous, but most importantly unwavering. You were unwavering when it came to loving me and all of my baggage, you were patient, and you were kind. I know I'll never find that again. And I know I will never get that again with you because I screwed myself over. So please, stay strong for our baby, be the man I wish I was; and when you're old, and you're telling your husband, your kids, and your grandkids things about your life; please, remember me. Tell them we loved hard, almost too hard. But tell them that we had real true love, the type of love you don't think exists. Just please, never forget me. I love you, forever and always. 

-Harry

I had tears streaming down my cheeks, and I felt like I was suffocating. I'm guessing this was one of those 'read my journal so I don't have to say it out loud because that'll make it real' things that Harry had talked about. It hurt so much to imagine my Harry hurting the same as I have in the past. My beautiful, strong, brave angel had fallen apart and I couldn't help. Thoughts were running wild in my mind, nothing made sense. I couldn't even process the thought of Harry being gone, and it wasn't until I heard him take a shaky breath behind me that I realized Harry is here. He is not dead. Harry did want to die. And I couldn't mentally handle that thought. 

I whipped my head around when I heard that breath and saw him, tears in his eyes and a sad smile on his face. "So, you found the biggest secret of them all huh?" He let out a shaky laugh. I felt hot tears pour out of my eyes and nodded, a sob shaking my body. He sat down next to me and pulled me in close to his chest. 

"I guess we better talk about everything then, not just this Lindsay situation." He sniffled. He put one of his hands in my hair and laid his cheek on my head. We stayed like that for a while, I couldn't even muster the strength to talk for almost a half-hour, just trying to wrap my brain around what I had read. I eventually pulled away from him and wiped the tears from his eyes. I adjusted myself so I was facing him and grabbed his hands. I played with his rings for a minute before meeting his green eyes.

"Yeah, yeah I think we do need to talk about everything." And so, a long night began.


	18. Chapter 18

Liam's POV

I could tell Harry was anxious. We had previously had multiple conversations about the last year, but it was mainly about me and Tyler. Harry spoke about some things but he would oftentimes just say 'you don't really want to know everything that happened' or he would say he doesn't remember everything; trying to buy himself more time before opening up about everything. I sat with my legs crossed on the bed, his hand still in my hand, twisting his many rings. I always wondered where he got all of them. I know one he got from his sister, and one he bought because it 'looked cool', I truly didn't think it was that great until Harry put it on; then his hands became my favorite thing.

"Can I change into something a little more comfortable? We're gonna be here for a while," Harry said with a light chuckle. I looked down at his outfit, he was wearing his black skinny jeans that formed to his legs perfectly, along with a white shirt. I knew he mainly didn't want to lay in bed with jeans on, but who does?

I nodded, I had already put on a pair of flannel pajama bottoms along with a black shirt. That seemed to be the only thing in either of our wardrobes- plain, black or white shirts. That's why I wasn't surprised to see Harry tugging down a black shirt, along with some grey sweatpants. He looked lost, paced to one side of the bed and then the other before taking a deep shaky breath and sitting on the side. I watched him carefully as he rested his elbows on his knees, taking his head in his hands and rubbing his face.

"This is really, really fucking hard for me to do Li, all I want is to tell you everything, but I don't know how I'm going to react reliving it all." His voice was muffled slightly by his hands still resting over his face. I trusted Harry, I really did, but I could feel my face was slightly swollen from where he had hit me. A bruise was sure to form, so I took extra caution as I slid behind him on the bed. Slowly, I raised my hand and lightly touched his tense bicep. His muscles contracting under my touch, but he didn't react harshly. I took this as a sign that I had nothing to fear, he was and never will be a danger to me.

I wrapped my hand around his large bicep as much as I could, lightly tugging in hopes he would turn around and face me but he didn't. I sighed, rubbing my other hand up and down his back. Even his shoulder blades were contracted, muscles bulging out of his shirt; normally I would find this attractive, but all I wanted was for him to feel calm and safe to tell me everything.

"Hazzie, you're safe baby, I got you. No matter what happens I'm right here okay? I am always right here." I moved to the side so I can try to get a better look at him. His hands slowly moved away from his face, and I felt relieved to see he hadn't started crying, knowing I would've lost it also. I leaned into his side, nudging his jaw with my nose to tilt his head to the other side. He tilted his head more as I started gently kissing his neck, trying to relax him. He let out a sigh and slipped an arm around my waist, lifting me onto his lap effortlessly. My hand found his shoulder while the other one went to his nape as I continued kissing his neck, sucking on some of his sensitive spots, one being where his neck meets his collarbone. I felt his muscles slightly loosen and a breath release from his parted lips, but he was for sure not going to be able to talk without getting distressed.

I did the one thing I knew would bring his mind back to me. I made sure to keep my mouth on him; kissing and sucking his neck, kissing his cheek, his jaw, just about any area I could reach. I moved the hand that was on his shoulder to his curly hair. I know for a fact, this man will crumble if his hair is pulled or combed through. I gently tugged on the curly ringlets, then combed my hand from the front of his hair to the back. I heard and felt a groan leave his throat as his body relaxed dramatically. I knew he came back to me in that moment. His left hand went around my waist, while the other grabbed my chin gently, guiding my lips to his in a sweet kiss. He pulled away and rested his forehead against mine and gently ran his hand over the imprint that was on my face from earlier events, he sighed and lightly closed his eyes.

"Thank you, darling, I'm ready to do this, for you, for us." I nodded and kissed his lips gently one more time before untangling myself from him to sit beside him. I knew not to go too far, he needed me close enough to hold onto for support, but far enough so he could also breathe.

"Where would you like me to start?" He asked, rubbing his thumb over my knuckles.

"The beginning." Harry shut his eyes tightly but nodded. I brushed a few stray curls out of his face, when he looked up at me his green eyes were glossed with tears that were eventually going to escape, but he composed himself.

"The night I left, was maybe one of the worst nights of my life. I was angry, I was sad, I was torn. All I wanted to do was go back to you but I knew I had already ruined it thanks to me letting my anger control the situation. I walked around the whole town that night before taking a train to a town a few hours away from here. I managed to scrape up enough money to get a hotel room. During that time, I just went to clubs, I partied constantly and started to rely on drugs and people affiliated with drugs in order to live. Taking the drugs was my choice, but I had nowhere to live and had to help my 'friend' at the time sell them so I can pay for a hotel room." I felt a lump form in my throat, trying to process this information. I couldn't even imagine the man that I love, that has always been nothing short of angelic sell and take drugs. I put my hand on his arm, rubbing over the soft skin to provide some sort of comfort as memories washed through his mind, a pained expression on his face.

"Actually, I have something I want to show you." Harry got up and walked over to his nightstand, pulling out a necklace with some sort of ring on the silver chain.

"This, this is what got me through most nights. This is why I didn't end everything, do you remember this, darling?" He put the chained ring in his palm and held it out towards me. I felt my stomach drop and my breathing pick up when I realized what it was.

"The promise ring," I breathily whispered, my hand going up to cover my mouth as I felt tears spill out of my eyes. "You kept it?" I questioned.

He nodded, a small smile making its way onto his face, but not quite reaching his dimples.

"Every day I wore this, I knew I had to figure out my life in order to come back but I didn't know how. Things just got worse and worse; I started messing around with men and women, one being Lindsay. She fueled my drug addiction and actually encouraged me to try harder drugs. Weed turned to cocaine, which turned to meth. That's what I tried to overdose on, and I would've. I was prepared to die. I cut myself numerous times and took as many drugs as I could." Harry then closed his eyes again, a sob falling from his lips as the tears finally ran down his face. He pressed the ring to his lips like it was his lifeline.

"Harry, I'm right here love," I said, pulling the ring away from his lips and replacing it with mine. I sat in his lap again and gently lifted his head to look me in the eyes. He gave me a small, shaky smile as if to say everything's okay even though it wasn't. "You're so strong Harry, always have been. You're doing so well babe," I whispered these comforting words in his ear while massaging his scalp lightly with my fingertips. He hummed in response and then sighed, preparing to continue on.

"I don't know who, but someone found me. They saved my life. They called 999 and I woke up three days later laying in the hospital. My medical bills were taken care of and they said I should seek treatment, which is what I did most of the time I was away. I was in a treatment center for about three months and the first month was pure hell. I was suffering from major withdrawal. My entire body burned, I puked constantly as all the drugs I took were leaving my system, I actually was having such bad withdrawal I scratched my cuts open on my arms, I ended up having to be watched at all times until I finally felt in control of my urges," Harry shook his head at the thought, his whole body trembling under my touch. I quickly wiped away every tear that fell from my eyes, trying to be strong for him.

"They told me that the chances of me making it through all of this was slim unless I found a reason to motivate me. I told them it was you. You were my reason. I told them I had your ring, but lost it when I overdosed; that's when they told me that they actually had it but most things you can harm yourself with were seen as a danger so they held onto it until I wasn't a danger to myself. They gave it back and that's when I started pushing myself to be better. After two more months, they released me, then I spent the last three months before I came back cleaning my life up and making myself better. I had a couple of slip-ups, hence the whole Lindsay thing, but I ended up getting a part-time job where I got enough money to come back here and stay at a hotel for a couple of days before I went back to you." Harry smiled up at me, his left dimple just barely showing.

"I don't know if I could've continued on if you didn't take me back. It was so painful, going to a hotel room every night, constantly being fucking alone. I had no one to go home to. You were always my home and I lost it. If you didn't accept me back, I can't even imagine where I would be right now." Fresh tears ran down his face, puffing out a couple of shaky breaths. I felt my throat tighten.

He was constantly alone a few towns away. My angel was always. Alone.

I sniffled at the thought, fighting to hold back tears as I wiped his away. Usually Harry's the strong one between us two, comforting me, but I know I have to be the strong one even if it's just for one night. I reached for the hand that held the chain with the promise ring. I unclasped the chain and took the ring off.

"You don't need to wear this anymore, not when I'm right here," I said gently, observing the ring. Our initials were engraved into the back of it, along with the word 'forever'. I slipped the ring onto my finger. It fit perfectly, just like the first time. Nothing felt more right than having a ring on that declared our unending love. I kissed him gently. I then flipped his arms over so his palms were facing up. I looked at his tan arms, a slight gasp leaving my lips as I realized there were white scars on his arms.

"How have I never noticed these?" I whispered, tracing the scars lightly with my finger. I traced one long one in particular, one that ran vertically up from his wrist, almost halfway up his forearm.

"I guess I just never made mention of them, and many I covered with tattoos, I didn't want to see them anymore. They're just such an ugly part of me that I couldn't stand looking at them. I can hardly stand looking at myself sometimes, all I see are my mistakes." Towards the end, his voice was a mere whisper.

I brought his arm up and gently kissed each scar, just like he had done to me in the past. His eyes shut and he leaned his head onto my shoulder, his breathing slightly uneven as he held back his emotions.

"Harry it's okay, just let go." As soon as I said that his tears streamed down his face like a waterfall, sobs falling from his lips. I stayed sitting on his lap, one arm around his shoulders, lightly stroking his back while my other hand held his head to my shoulder, letting him cry into me.

"I love everything about you Haz, you are nothing short of perfect. You are enough and you are worthy of this love we share. Don't ever doubt that. You are the most beautiful person I have ever laid eyes on."

"How can I be beautiful when I feel so disgusting?" He sobbed into my shoulder. I pulled back, guiding his head away from my shoulder. He looked at me, confusion in his eyes. He was especially confused when I lightly tugged at his shirt, pulling it over his head and throwing it onto the floor. I then shoved his chest, guiding him to lay his head down on the pillows. I know he needs this, to be the one dominated tonight. He's never let me do something like this but in his vulnerable state he was more willing than ever for me to take over tonight.

"I'll tell you how you're so beautiful. The first thing that's beautiful is your mind. You conquered so much with no support, not many people can fight addiction like that. I also love this." I put my hand over his heart feeling it beat rapidly under my touch. "Because no matter what, your heart has always been so large and you've always cared about everyone and everything, even when you put on this tough guy act." I laughed lightly, as did he as another tear slipped down his cheek which I quickly wiped away.

"I love these," I said, tugging at his soft hair, a light chuckle leaving my lips when he groaned quietly. "You're always so responsive when I pull your hair, I love how it's so messy but it forms almost a halo with all your little ringlets. Makes you look like an angel, my angel." I mumbled, pressing a kiss to his head.

"I also love these," I said smiling as I poked his cheeks where his dimples are located. "I love when you smile, a real smile, the one that makes your dimples pop, that's how I know you're genuinely happy." He smiled at my statement, his dimples just slightly showing. I instantly poked them, that was always my favorite thing to do, especially when he didn't want me to.

"Liam, you touch my dimples one more time I swear to God," Harry laughed trying to swipe my hands away from his face.

"Then quit smiling and I wouldn't poke them" I laughed, my legs on either side of Harry where he laid on the floor, my fingers consistently attacking the indents in his cheeks. I let out a gasp when he flipped us over, him holding himself up above me, I now underneath him. He held both my hands in one of his large ones.

He leaned down, his unruly curls tickling my cheek as he leaned over me, breath hitting my ear "I wouldn't be smiling if it wasn't for you making me so damn happy baby."

That was what felt like ages ago, now when I poked them he laughed more, making his dimples show even more. I smiled and kissed over one, then continued my descent.

"Now these," I said rubbing down his arms. "I love everything about your arms. They're so strong and beautiful, I love all of your tattoos even if I don't understand them all. And I even love these," I said as I traced my fingers on his scars again, making his breathing hitch. "But your hands I'm obsessed with. I love how large they are and how everything looks so small in them. I love all your rings, I've never had a thing for peoples hands, but yours, my god I can't get enough of them." I held my hand up to his, the size difference evident.

I moved further down his body, eyeing his chest. I didn't even feel the need to say how I felt about his torso, I instead licked a bold strip up from his navel up to his chest. He was looking at me with wide eyes, clearly not expecting it. I looked at his body again and hummed. I lowered my head again and took one of his nipples into my mouth and lightly sucked on it. A moan fell from his lips as he pressed his chest upwards.

"Oh my god" Harry moaned above me, jaw slack with his eyes closed. I moved to his other nipple, his reaction slightly stronger than before.

"Liam" he whimpered, holding my head against his chest. I felt his dick twitch against my leg, I let out a low hum and pulled away, looking down to see a bulge growing in his sweats.

"This I also love" I murmured. I rubbed my hand against the bulge that was in his pants, his hips bucked up into my touch as whimpers fell from his lips while his eyes screwed shut.

"Liam please" Harry whispered quietly. I pressed my palm down a little harder making Harry let out a moan, grinding his hips upwards towards my hand.   
I pulled my hand away slowly, Harry's eyes shot open to look down at me.   
"What are you doing?" He asks, moving his own hand down to touch himself through his pants, I swatted his hand away making him whine.   
"Well, if you want me to do anything to you we have to get these off," I laughed tugging slightly at the waistband of his pants and boxers. He furiously nodded and lifted his hips up so I can pull them down. His erection was released, throbbing where it was between his legs.   
I lightly grabbed it in my hand, pumping him gently before licking a stripe from the base to his tip. A low moan fell from his lips as I took the tip in my mouth, sucking on it lightly.   
I took a little more of him into my mouth while looking up at him. Moans fell out of his mouth uncontrollably while his hands tightly gripped the sheets.   
I rested my hand on his thigh while my other hand stroked what wasn't in my mouth.   
"Fuck Liam" Harry moaned, he let go of the sheets with one hand and pressed down onto the back of my head, making me gag on his dick, eyes watering.   
I backed away and held his length in my hand.   
"Liam, put it back in" Harry whined throwing his head back while lifting his hips into the air.   
"Keep your hands to your sides Haz, I'm in control" I said sternly. His eyes widened and his dick twitched in my hand, slightly oozing pre cum. I could tell by his reaction he was liking this.   
"Do you understand Harry?" He nodded eagerly and moved his hand to grab the sheets again.   
I lowered my head back down, bobbing up and down on his length, jerking the part that didn't fit in my mouth. His mouth was left open, gasping for air that he couldn't take in.   
It didn't take long before I felt his hand reach for purchase on my shoulder, leg kicking out slightly.   
"Li, I'm not gonna last much longer, fuck" he panted out. His hand grabbed my hand that was on his thigh and squeezed it. Seconds later his breathing picked up immensely.   
"Liam, pull back" he lightly pressed on my shoulder, i saw his stomach tensing as he was approaching his high. I hummed and took him down further.   
"Liam" he said sternly, grabbing the base of his dick to prolong his orgasm. I took my mouth off and rubbed the swollen head with my thumb.   
"I want to swallow you Haz" he squeezed the base of his cock tighter and groaned loudly at the thought. I put my mouth back on him and took as much as I could, swatting the hand that was on the base away.   
"Shit, I'm so close" Harry breathed above me. I felt him unravel underneath me.   
His breathing picked up, uneven breaths falling from his lips along with a string of curse words. His hand reached to the back of my head again as he pressed my head down, taking in all of his dick as he came. I gagged slightly, swallowing when I felt his load shoot down my throat.   
I let him ride out his high, pulling back when I felt him soften in my mouth. I pulled back and sucked on the head of his dick, he whined slightly, hips twitching instinctly away from my mouth. I pulled off completely and made my back up to him. I laid my head on his chest, feeling his heart beat quickly from underneath me.   
"Thank you baby," Harry said kissing the top of my head, I hummed and closed my eyes.   
"Anything to make you feel better." He pulled me into his arms, I can tell he was doing better as he tried to almost protect my body with his, dominance becoming more prominent again.   
"What're we gonna do if it's my kid?" Harry whispered suddenly.   
"We'll cross that bridge when we get there" I said, listening to his heartbeat rhythmically.   
"Will you still love me?" Fear was prominent in his voice, he was so quiet that I barely heard him.   
"I will always love you."


	19. Chapter 19

Harry's POV

I woke up to the sound of the alarm going off at about 6:30 to bring Tyler to his playgroup. I quickly reached a hand out to turn it off, not wanting to wake Liam. He had the day off and after last night I wanted him to feel relaxed. I'm honestly the luckiest man on the planet; after everything I told Liam he still loves me and still wants to be with me. I don't see how, but I'll stick around for as long as he'll keep me that's for sure.

I groaned as I stood up and stretched, then made my way to Tyler's room where he was already awake, holding onto the crib watching for me. As soon as I entered a smile made its way onto his lips and he held his arms out.

"Papa!"

"Good morning my sweet boy" I picked him up and held him close to my bare chest, he laid his head on my shoulder and pulled on some of my curls. I kissed his cheek and laid him on the changing table, pulling out a pair of jeans, a shirt along with a sweatshirt and a pull up for him.

I quickly got him ready, I've realized my parenting skills have improved immensely since I first came back. I can get Tyler ready almost as fast as Liam and I handle his moods much better than I did before; like the terrible twos are basically already here and he's not even two yet, how is that even fair?

"Alright lovey, we should probably eat something before we go, huh?" I said to Tyler as I picked him up and set him on the ground. A lot of times he likes being carried in the mornings but I want him to walk and be as active as possible. I walked at his side and guided him into mine and Liam's room so I could get changed. I set him on our bed and as soon as he saw Liam he was preparing to attack, I could tell just by how wide his eyes were, he was looking to jump onto him and wake him up. I quickly turned him towards me and bent down so we were making eye contact.

"Baby, let's leave daddy to sleep this morning okay? We can get him later" I stared into his eyes, ensuring he heard every word I said and kissed his cheek. He pouted but left the situation alone, settling on laying his head on Liam's shoulder and watched me get ready. I pulled on a pair of black skinny jeans, then decided to change up my shirt choice and put on a button-up shirt. I found it in the back of my closet, I didn't even realize I had it. It was a dark blue silk shirt with little white dots all over it, I rolled up the sleeves and buttoned it, leaving the top three buttons open so my chest was showing slightly. I took my hair gel and styled my hair up and called it good enough, being a parent makes it kind of difficult to take time to clean yourself up. I then helped Tyler slide down onto the floor and we made our descent down the stairs, him holding a few of my fingers so he wouldn't fall.

"Alright babe, you go play for a little bit while papa cooks," I said ruffling Tylers curls and distracting him with some toys on the kitchen floor, close enough so I could watch him.

I started making oatmeal for him and eggs and toast for me when I heard Liam's feet patter down the stairs from our room; of course, he couldn't sleep in on his day off, he rarely ever sleeps in.

I felt his arms wrap around my waist and a small smile made its way onto my face.

"Good morning angel," I said turning in Liam's arms and placing a kiss on his cheek.

"Mmm, morning love. You look hot." Liam blatantly said, running his fingers against my exposed chest.

"Why thank you, darling, figured I would switch it up. You wanna do something today? Tyler will be gone most of the day so we have today to ourselves. Maybe go out with one of the boys?" Liam hummed pressing a kiss to my chest while rubbing a hand down my arm, feeling the silky shirt.

"That sounds lovely, I'll let you finish up here. As much as I would rather not go, we should go to the gym, I could use some more practice," Liam said, pulling the oatmeal out and walking towards Tyler, setting him in his highchair.

"Yeah we can do that love, I have a gym bag packed already. I also want to stop at the school today, I know I've been doing my assignments online recently anyways but I just want to let them know I'm going to just do all online, just easier with your job and Tyler." He nodded, attempting to feed Tyler who would rather shove his hands in the oatmeal rather than eat it.

"I'll drop Tyler off and come back for you so you can get ready okay?" I said once we were done eating, pressing my hands into his hips. He nodded and kissed my cheek before turning to Tyler and saying his goodbyes to him before we headed out.

I put Tyler in his car seat and we drove to his playgroup. Every morning we turn the radio up and sing to the music. That's one thing I know Liam has instilled into him is singing, he loves to sing even if most of it is hard to understand, it's still the most adorable thing I've ever seen.

"Alright baby we're here" I walked around and picked him up, carrying him inside. Once we were in I pulled his coat off, fixing his sweatshirt.

"Okay sweetheart, I'll see you in a bit okay?" This was always the hardest part, leaving him. Sometimes we're fine and I can drop him off without him fussing but today wasn't one of those days.

"Papa stay" he whined grabbing my hair, giving me his best pouty face.

"Baby I can't, look Lux just got here, why don't you play with her?" I whispered into his ear. As soon as he saw her his eyes lit up and my presence, or lack thereof, was no longer an issue. I snuck out of the room and made my way back out to my car. I drove to the college and went into the administration building.

"Hi, my name is Harry Styles and I was just wondering if I could change from in-class to online classes?" I played with the rings on my fingers. I'm not as good at social interactions when I'm alone, I feel much more awkward and unsure of myself than I am when I'm around Liam. There's something about him that makes me feel strong and powerful like I have to protect him and be more dominant, but without him, I'm just awkward normal Harry.

"I think we could work that out, I'll go process that now, you can take a seat right over there hun," the administration lady smiled at me and pointed towards a waiting area. While I was waiting I pulled out my phone to text Louis. He helped me the most during my rough times, when I first moved back he supported me more than anyone so we have a special bond. Zayn and Niall also helped, but Louis pulled me away from many temptations when I needed it.

Harry: Hey mate, would you wanna meet up with Liam and I today for coffee and tea? Xx

Louis: Hey, it's been a while! That sounds like a great idea, meet around noon? x

Harry: Sounds like a plan, see you then Lou :)

"Alright Harry, you're all set! You just have to sign a couple of things here and then we'll transfer your classes onto an online format" the woman said, I nodded and signed a few lines before heading out and into my car.

I made it back to the house and went inside, finding Liam on the couch in the living room reading, he turned back and looked at me with an almost worried look.

"You were gone for a while longer than I thought you were gonna be," he said, turning back to his book. I walked up to him and took the book out of his hands. I sat down, and pulled him into my lap.

"Had to run to the school, change to online classes so I don't fall behind, remember?" I kissed his cheek softly, resting one hand on his hip while the other ran up and down his back, feeling he was slightly tense. "Is that okay?"

Liam lightly traced his fingers down my arms and nodded. "Of course it's okay love, I just worry sometimes." He was looking pretty much anywhere but my eyes.   
I put both hands on his hips and pulled him back a little. "Worry about what? Me cheating?" I asked softly.   
"No, fuck no Haz I don't worry about that. I more worry that you're okay and you're safe and that you'll come back to me." Liam was looking down, not meeting my eyes; instead playing with his fingers.

"Baby look at me," I said sternly, gently grabbing his chin and turning his face towards me. He looked at me, his brown eyes wide and shiny.

"You'll never have to worry about me not coming back, okay? I will always come back." He nodded, a single tear slipping down his face that I quickly wiped away. "Come on lovey everything's okay. Let's get up, gonna meet Lou at the cafe." He nodded and before he got up I pulled him closer to me by his hips, eliciting a gasp from his lips. With his chest flushed against mine, I reached up and grabbed his face lightly in my hands and pulled him into a sweet kiss, running my tongue along his bottom lip before pulling back.

"I love you, more than anything Liam" I breathed.

"I love you too Hazzy" Liam pressed a kiss to my cheek before standing up and grabbing our gym bag.

"Ready angel?" I asked, sliding my boots on. Liam nodded and grabbed my hand in his and we made our way out to the car.

About ten minutes later we made it to the coffee shop to find Louis already there looking at his phone. He looked up at the door when the bell rang, signaling our entrance. A large grin broke out on his face as he stood up, rushing over and wrapping Liam in a tight hug.

"Liam, it's been so long mate, I've missed you terribly," Louis said, pulling back and looking at Liam from head to toe, looking extra close at his arms, I know he wanted to see if Liam was still hurting himself.

"I've missed you too Lou, so much," Liam said, voice a little shaky with emotion.

"And you, come here curly," Louis said before pulling me into a tight hug. "You look so good babe, better than you did when you came back" Louis whispered into my ear. I squeezed my eyes shut, I remember all the times I begged Louis. Begged him to take me out of my misery, begged him to get Liam to love me, and begged him for drugs that I knew he didn't have.

"I feel better than ever, I got my family now" I whispered back before pulling away. Louis' eyes were shining, tears threatening to fall.

"Okay before I get all emotional, why don't we sit down," Louis said letting out a wet laugh. I laughed too and nodded, knowing how high emotions were truly running today. I grabbed Liam's hand and guided him to the table.

"I don't think you lads know how badly I've wanted to see you guys, especially you Liam. I know I went a little MIA when all the stuff with Harry happened, but I hope you understand it wasn't intentional." Louis looked down at his hands, guilt written all over his face.

"Louis, I understand. Harry has been your best mate for so long, I truly don't blame you. You took him leaving hard too. Plus, you helped bring him back to me, I don't think I can really be mad at you for anything because my family is together again because you were there supporting him. I can't thank you enough for supporting him when he was low." Liam said, grabbing Louis's hand. I ran my hand down Liam's back and kissed his cheek.

"I'm just glad that we're all good again, all we're missing is Zayn and Niall. Soon we'll have to have a big hangout at the house, really get the boys all back together again," I said smiling at Louis and Liam who nodded.

"Do you guys want something to drink? Figured I could go order for us" Liam said. Louis and I gave him our orders. He got up to go to the counter, pressing a quick kiss to my cheek before walking up.

"So Hazza, how have you been like mentally and what not? Have you been doing okay?" Louis said lowly after Liam left.

"Yeah, I've been doing pretty good, besides a little situation I've been dealing with involving Lindsay. I told Liam pretty much everything."

"Everything? I'm shocked" Louis said, eyes wide.

"Yeah, I didn't go into explicit detail, especially the stuff that happened when you were helping me because that was fucking rough, but I told him basically everything else. He was so great about it all, I don't know how I got so lucky" I shook my head, a small smile playing on my lips. I honestly don't know how I got so lucky with Liam, he's been so good and so patient with me.

"Wanna know why he's so patient?" Louis asked with a smile forming onto his lips.

"Why's that Lou?"

"Because he loves you unconditionally Harry. He is in love with you. You will always be enough for him no matter what bullshit life throws at you guys because you are enough in his eyes. Do you understand me Haz? You. Are. Enough." Louis reached over and put a hand on my shoulder. I shuddered out a breath, my throat felt tight and I could feel the tears burn in my eyes. I gave him a shaky smile and nodded, wiping at my eyes before they fell.

"Thank you, Louis, your persistent support has meant so much to me. Like I don't know how you did it. I would fucking beg you for drugs and for something to numb me and you never gave up. I don't know how you stuck by me and let me tell you all the dark things in my mind." I felt more tears slip down my face. I turned and looked at Liam, he was looking at me in concern but I just smiled at him to let him know everything was alright.

"Harry, I was persistent with you because I knew you could and would get better. I saw the light you didn't and I knew Liam would take you back. Before you came to me, he and I talked a lot about how much he missed you, I spent plenty of nights with him also, trying to tell him things would be okay. That's why I had so much faith in both of you and helped you because I knew you would turn things around. And now look at you!" Louis smiled and gestured towards me and I couldn't help but laugh.

"I think you're destined to be a therapist Lou." A laugh escaped his lips when I said that.

"I was truly considering it actually. You guys have shown me a lot. Are you still doing the techniques we talked about? You know your voice is lovely Harry, I would hope you're using it to your advantage." Louis said sternly.

"You mean am I still singing and writing songs?" He nodded. "Here and there, I've been busy with Ty and Liam but I like to look at some songs I wrote, refine them a little bit. Sometimes I sing them but mainly just to Tyler when I'm putting him to bed."

"So you're saying you've never sung for Liam?" I shook my head. Louis' eyes widened.

"Harry Styles, you need to sing for that boy! Most of the songs you've written are for him!" Louis exclaimed, hands waving around frantically.

"What's for who?" I jumped in my seat hearing Liam's voice. I gripped my chest and let out a breath.

"Christ Liam, you almost gave me a heart attack," I said with a light chuckle leaving my lips.

"I'm sorry babes" Liam laughed. He planted a kiss on my cheek and sat down next to us. "What were we talking about?"

"Well, Harry here has been hiding his wonderful talents from you and I might put him on blast if he doesn't fess up!" Louis crossed his arms over his chest while glaring at me. I groaned and pressed my hands over my face to hide the blush that was creeping onto my face.

"Haz, what is he talking about?"Liam questioned, trying to pull my hands away. I just shook my head and rubbed my face. "Harry Edward Styles, tell me," Liam said sternly. I sighed and moved my hands back down to my lap.

"When I came back, Louis was a major help in my recovery because he knew how badly I wanted to go back to you. He taught me some coping mechanisms and one of them that really helped me was singing and songwriting, so I don't know if you noticed but there's like almost a pocket in the back of my journal. That's where I've been keeping all the songs I've written." Liam stared at me in shock.

"He's a damn good singer too, like let's just say when he sang for me I could've came right then and there because his voice is pure sex," I punched Louis in the shoulder which just made him laugh. I could feel my face turning beet red.

"Well, you know this means you have to sing for me when we get home I hope you realize that Hazzy," Liam said, a small smirk playing on his face.

"Yeah yeah, I'll consider it. I haven't really sung for anyone in a long time, I wouldn't count my putting Tyler to bed singing like actual singing I guess." I rubbed the back of my neck, feeling kind of awkward. Ever since I went downhill I've had little to no confidence in any of my abilities, besides my ability to take care of our son but it took Liam telling me many many times that the things I was doing were the right things.

We talked for a while and sipped our drinks before departing. Liam and I made our way to the gym afterward.

"You ready for this babe?" I asked, grabbing our gym bag in one hand, his hand in my other.

"Ready as I'll ever be." Liam chuckled slightly.

"I'm gonna push you a little more today I hope you know that," I smirked at him, left eye dropping down to a wink. He shook his head, but a small smile made its way onto his face. We made it into the locker room where he changed into black gym shorts and a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up. I changed into just grey athletic shorts and took off my shirt.

"Ready Li?" I turned, wrapping my hands in tape only to find Liam staring at my abs. I smirked at him and let out a cough. His eyes shot up and looked at my face, mouth slightly agape and face turning red.

"Huh? Oh yeah, yeah I'll be ready after you wrap my knuckles" he said, playing off the fact that he was indeed staring at my body.

I moved in close to him once I wrapped my knuckles and pulled him in. "Take a picture, it'll last longer lovey" I whispered, kissing his neck. I felt him shiver and his eyes slipped shut for a few seconds before he looked back at me with a smile. He reached into our locker and pulled out his phone, taking a picture. I let out a small laugh and shook my head, of course, he actually would take a picture. I took his hands into mine and wrapped the white tape around them, making sure there was enough padding so his knuckles won't get too bruised. Afterward, we made our way out to the gym. 

"Alright, Li now uppercuts! Let's go I know you can punch harder come on!" I yelled as he punched the mitts on my hands.

"Hey, fuck off mate I haven't been here in a while" Liam panted out before delivering another punch. Did he just call me mate? I took off my mitts and moved close to him, pulling him even closer to me by his waist.

"Mate, huh? That all I am?" I growled into his ear. I saw goosebumps form on his sweaty arms, his eyes slipping shut. "Open your eyes and look at me" I demanded softly. His eyes fluttered open, his deep brown eyes looking into my green eyes. "Well?"

"No, that's not all you are," Liam said quietly looking up at me.

"Then what am I?" I whispered in his ear. He squirmed in my grip. I took notice of how many people were watching us and I knew that's why he was squirming but I'm relentless when it comes to teasing him.

"You're mine. My boyfriend." He mumbled looking at all the people staring. I smiled and kissed him lightly on his lips.

"That's what I thought. We are very much so more than mates." He nodded and leaned his head on my bare shoulder. "Alright babe, let's keep going," I said, slapping his bum causing him to turn bright red. I let out a loud laugh and shook my head.

We wrapped up at the gym and showered before heading home. Once we got home I dropped our dirty clothes into the washer before flopping down onto the couch. My arms for real feel like they could fall off, I must admit I haven't been to the gym in a long time either so it was as much of a workout for me as it was for Liam. Speaking of, where is he?

"Li? Babe?" I called out, looking around for him. A minute later he walked out of our room holding my journal.

"Please, sing to me baby."


	20. Chapter 20

Harry's POV

I looked intently at the journal the was now in my hands. Liam pulled a chair from the dining room into the living room in order to sit in front of and watch me.

"Li, are you sure you want this? They aren't like that upbeat of songs like I wrote these in some of my worst moments. I obviously want to be nothing but transparent with you, but this might not be easy." I glanced up at Liam before quickly looking back down at the journal. He grabbed my chin gently, making me look him in the eyes again. He gave me a soft smile and ran his thumb under my bottom lip.

"I want to hear you, Harry. I don't want you to feel like your voice has to be silenced in this house. Like yes, I do love that you're strong and protective over Tyler and I but I also want you to know that if you need it, you can let go, yeah? You can always let yourself go Haz." Liam's voice started trembling towards the end, his voice slightly breaking. I swallowed thickly and nodded, my voice was lost in my throat and I knew if I tried to speak it would just be a sob that came out.

I pulled away slightly and opened the journal. I flipped to the back, running my fingers over the back folder where all my deepest feelings lied. I pulled out the papers, I have so many songs back here. They all meant a lot to me; when I didn't feel strong enough to speak my truth I put it on paper in the form of a song; I really should pay Louis for all he did, who would've thought that this would be how I handled the whirlwind of emotions I went through?

I flipped through some of the songs, mainly reading the titles. Each title made a memory flash into my mind, they all held so much power and significance. I handed the stack to Liam.

"Pick your poison baby," I said once my throat opened back up. He flipped through them, reading just the titles, not the lyrics, before stopping on one.

"I want to hear them all at some point, but let's start with this one." He handed me one of them before neatly folding the rest back up, putting them back in the pocket. I looked over the song and felt my chest swell; this song was exactly how I felt about Liam through the whole year we were apart, this song meant and still does mean everything to me.

" 'Falling' huh, why'd you choose this one?" I questioned, playing with the piece of paper.

"I don't know honestly, something's drawing me into it, like that's the one I need to hear first I guess." He shrugged, not thinking much of it. But I think much of it. This song was the easiest one to write, but also the hardest. I wrote it in twenty minutes, but the pain in it and the emotion was the hard part. The lyrics bleed pain, sadness, hatred, and fucking grief. I grieved the death of our love, the death of my family, and mostly the death of any self-love I had and I made it into a song. I knew I needed to sing it for him though, he needs to know how I felt, about everything.

"Okay baby, I'll sing this to you, you kept the music room right?" I was hesitant to ask that question. Yes, I have been back in our home for quite a while now, but I've always been scared to breach the subject of the music room. I feared he got rid of it all and just turned it into a guest room or something. It held so much significance to me that I hadn't even opened that door since I got back, because Christ, I don't know what I would do if everything was gone.

"Of course I did Haz, that room was your baby practically! I didn't understand why because I never really saw you play an instrument in there or sing but I mean, now it all makes sense. I would never get rid of something of yours, I mean this place is just as much mine as it was yours, hell it was more yours than mine. Even when you left I kept all your belongings, just in case you ever-ever came back." He choked out the last part, emotion evident once again as we reflected on the past.

"Thank you sweetheart, let's go there then." I grabbed his hand and pressed a quick kiss to his temple, guiding him to the room. I placed a trembling hand on the handle, hesitant to turn it. Liam pressed a kiss to my shoulder and rubbed my arm in silent encouragement. God, I love him. I opened the door to see everything exactly how I left it. It was like a breath of fresh air. I took in everything before walking over to the piano that sat almost in the middle. I set the paper on the stand and played a couple of keys, letting the familiar feel of the keys relax me. Liam sat down on the piano bench too, a leg on each side so he was facing me.

"Whenever you're ready baby boy," Liam said smiling gently at me. The nickname made my heart swell slightly. Baby boy. I never thought I would like that, never thought I would allow myself to feel vulnerable enough to be okay with someone calling me that. But when he did, all was right and time stopped. I think I'm going to marry this man one day. I nodded and took a deep breath. I pressed my fingers to the keys and started playing, letting my eyes slip shut and the lyrics flowed from between my lips while the notes played from the piano. 

I'm in my bed  
And you're not here  
And there's no one to blame but the drink and my wandering hands

Forget what I said  
It's not what I meant  
And I can't take it back  
I can't unpack the baggage you left

What am I now?  
What am I now?  
What if I'm someone I don't want around?  
I'm falling again  
I'm falling again  
I'm falling

What if I'm down?  
What if I'm out?  
What if I'm someone you won't talk about?  
I'm falling again  
I'm falling again  
I'm falling

You said you cared  
And you missed me too  
And I'm well aware I write too many songs about you

And the coffee's out  
At the Beachwood Cafe  
And it kills me 'cause I know we've run out of things we can say

What am I now?  
What am I now?  
What if I'm someone I don't want around?  
I'm falling again  
I'm falling again  
I'm falling

What if I'm down?  
What if I'm out?  
What if I'm someone you won't talk about?  
I'm falling again  
I'm falling again  
I'm falling

And I get the feeling that you'll never need me again

What am I now?  
What am I now?  
What if you're someone I just want around?  
I'm falling again  
I'm falling again  
I'm falling

What if I'm down?  
What if I'm out?  
What if I'm someone you won't talk about?  
I'm falling again  
I'm falling again  
I'm falling

I felt a tear run down my cheek as I finished. I couldn't open my eyes; I couldn't look at Liam. Judging by the sniffles I heard he was also crying and I knew if I saw that I would break down. Was I already halfway there? Yes. But did I want to see the love of my life cry? Definitely not.

"Harry, please look at me sweets," Liam sobbed out, lightly grabbing my face and turning my head so I was facing him. I slowly peeked an eye open before opening both of them. When I saw Liam he was exactly how I imagined he would look. His brown eyes looked bigger than normal, and also very glossy. Tears were streaming down his face, leaving streaks. His face was a bright red from crying and he kept sniffling to prevent his nose from running.

Beautiful.

That's what Liam was at this moment.

I only got a second to analyze his features before he pulled me into a sloppy kiss, the taste of our salty tears combining as we both let them fall freely, but within the chaos of our emotions there was an undeniable connection that I haven't felt with anyone. Sure, I've felt a connection to him but something about bearing my entire soul to him left me feeling like our hearts were tied together as one. His hand fisted my shirt as he pulled away. He pulled me into his chest and the dam broke. I sobbed heavily and gripped his shoulder tightly, grounding myself. I felt like I was floating, like the emotion in my body was carrying me away and fuck, I needed to hold onto him before I actually floated away.

After what felt like forever we had both calmed down, just holding each other with silent tears in our eyes. I'm glad it was Liam who spoke first, I was still unsure if I was capable of speaking quite yet.

"Thank you, Harry. Thank you for expressing all those emotions for me. It was so raw, so beautiful; just like you. Your voice is so perfect, I love you so much." He continuously whispered encouragements to me until I pulled away. I sniffled heavily, trying to gather my wits. He cooed at me, wiping tears off my face. I finally built up enough strength to speak.

"I'm guessing you can tell that the song is about you?" Liam let out a wet chuckle, wiping away his own stray tears while nodding.

"When I wrote it I had a lot of thoughts in my head. I knew I had messed up and I hated myself Li, I still do but you've taught me how to not hate myself as much. I also thought a lot about like, what if you didn't want me back? What if you never talked about me? What if I was just nothing to you? I figured you were fine without me even though I most definitely wasn't fine without you. I blamed myself so fucking much and when I wrote this song I just laid everything out." He nodded and grabbed my hand.

"Well, it was so, so fucking beautiful Harry. I can't believe you can write like this, hell I can't believe you can sing like that! Everything was incredible, you're incredible. I am so unbelievably proud of you Hazzy." Liam pulled me back into him and I let a few more tears streak down my face, why was I so emotional lately?

"Remember when we were together before the break?" I asked quietly. Liam tensed a little and nodded.

"I was always comforting you, hell I would get annoyed with how much I had to comfort you. But now it's like the tables have turned, you're always holding me when I'm a mess which seems to be very, very frequent and you never complain. Like we broke up so many times because I couldn't handle helping you! What kind of man is that? What kind of-" I cut off as I felt my throat tighten. "What kind of boyfriend is that?" I choked out.

"Wanna know why we work so much better than we did Haz?" Liam asked and I nodded, looking up at him as I pulled away from his chest.

"Because we grew up Harry. We learned, we grieved, and we realized that being apart hurt worse than being together. We learned to communicate and how to help one another. We aren't kids trying to figure life out like we were a year ago, we're so so much better now. We can love each other and help each other unconditionally without it hurting now. We are now unstoppable love, and if I have to be the comforter then I will. I am so okay with that because I know you would do the same," Liam said holding my hand. I felt my throat fucking tighten again, I really am a trainwreck huh?

"Is it bad that I already have plans on spending my whole goddamn life with you?" I whispered to him, squeezing his fingers. He gave me a watery smile.

"Is it bad that I can't imagine not spending my whole life with you?"

And if the floodgate of tears broke open once again, I knew that was okay. Because I knew I had Liam.

A few more tears, an hour of cuddling and a couple of blowjobs later, it was time to pick up Tyler. My favorite time of day. Liam and I drove to his playgroup and stopped outside the doors.

"I'll wait in here if you wanna grab him," Liam said, pressing a kiss to my knuckles. I nodded and walked inside. When I went in I noticed it was all mums in there picking up their kids. I wonder if Tyler ever noticed. I wonder if he ever questions why he doesn't have a mum while most people do. I wonder if he knew that his life is a little different because he has two dads.

Two dads that love him unconditionally, which is what mattered.

I knew that conversation will come up eventually, I just have to hope and pray it won't be soon.

I walked in, giving awkward smiles to the women picking up their kids and walked to one of the workers.

"Hello, I'm here for Tyler," I said smiling at her. She felt like a very nice person, her bright smile radiating positivity. I loved that he went to this place; every day they give you a rundown on how your kids' day went, it helped me feel more comfortable bringing him here, knowing that they genuinely kept an eye on him.

"Oh yes! He's right over there playing with a few other kids, I can tell you about his day while he's still distracted," she laughed gently. I nodded and signaled for her to proceed. "Okay so, he did pretty well today, he played a lot and ate his lunch and whatnot, his behavior was just a little off. He kind of had some more sass and was more defiant I would say. It's probably just his age and the phase he's going through right now, it's definitely not because of you or your partner, he's going to be two in less than six months so I'm sure it's because of his age. But, I would say pay close attention to his behavior at home as well, I would hate for him to be acting out because of someone here or because he's not comfortable here. Just keep us posted and let us know what works for you guys, we hate putting kids in time out and we had to put him there a few times today." She gave me another warm smile and I nodded and thanked her.

I looked around for Tyler before my eyes landed on him. I smiled and walked over. Before I got there he whipped his head around, eyes instantly finding me. A bright smile broke out on his face and he dropped the toy he had before standing up and running towards me.

"Papa!" He squealed in delight, launching himself into my arms.

"Hi sweetheart, you ready to go home?" I pressed him close to my chest. I felt him nod his head while his arms went around my neck, lightly fisting some loose curls. I helped him get his jacket on before we walked out to the car.

Once there I got him strapped in before getting into my side. "Daddy!" He giggled when he saw Liam was also there. Liam smiled in adoration at him, it made me melt. The love these two have for one another made my knees weak and my heart ache with pure love.

"Hi baby, did you have fun?" Tyler nodded before babbling the rest of the way home about how his day went. Once we arrived, I hopped out and let Tyler out of his car seat before setting him on the ground. I then jogged to the other side, trying to keep an eye on Tyler as I opened Liam's door for him. I was paranoid whenever I couldn't see him, especially when we were outside. It was the beginning of January; it was cold and icy which left me doting over Tylers every move while outside.

I looked up and saw Tyler walking towards the front door, mere steps away from a patch of ice. I felt my breath hitch in my throat as he approached it.

"Tyler, wait for Papa please!" I called out as anxiety filled my chest. I was hoping he would stop. Maybe turn around and come towards me.

But do toddlers ever listen?

Absolutely not.

With that, the next step he took was right on the ice patch. I watched as his foot slipped out from underneath him. My first instinct was to run and catch him, which is what I tried to do; but I was too late. His small body was there, laying on the pavement.

I felt like I was drowning for a second until his cries filled the cold air, bringing me back. I rushed over and picked him up, holding him close to my chest.

"Tyler baby, I'm so sorry, Papa's so sorry baby. Let me see, let me look at you Hunny," I breathed out quickly. My breathing was ragged and my heart was thumping hard in my chest. I couldn't imagine if my idiocy was the reason he was hurt, I would hate myself. I probably looked like a complete fool, panicking over a little slip. But like I said before, I have been a trainwreck recently.

"Haz babe, he's probably just crying because he's scared, I'm sure he's fine but let's get inside then you can look over him, okay?" I let out a shaky breath and nodded as I let Liam guide us inside with a gentle hand on the small of my back. The slight pressure from his hand helped calmed me down a little.

Have I mentioned I'm going to marry him one day?

I quickly sat down on the living room floor and started ripping Tyler's clothes off. At this point, I hadn't even realized his tears had almost stopped. I yanked off his jacket, then his sweatshirt, shirt, and then pants. The only thing left on him was his pullup. I looked over his whole body, arms, legs, back, tummy, head anything. I anxiously asked a million things, 'does that hurt baby?' 'do you have any pain here?' 'where'd this scratch come from?' 'Liam, can you check him over in case I missed something?'

In the end, he was fine and I had overreacted. "See babe, he's okay. Everything's fine," Liam said, gently kissing my neck. I nodded and helped Tyler get his clothes back on.

"I know I know, I guess I'm just so on edge with everything going on, I had to make sure he was okay." Liam nodded in understanding; he always understands.

He's so great to me.

We eventually just sat on the floor, all three of us holding one another until Tyler decided he was over it and got up to go play with his toys while Liam and I watched. I pulled Liam into my chest and held him, feeling all my stresses wash away as we watched our little boy play.

Everything is perfect.

Well, everything was perfect.

It was perfect until we heard a knock on the front door. Liam turned and looked at me, his eyebrows furrowing. I place a kiss to his cheek.

"You and Tyler stay in here, I'll be right back." I got up and noticed how tense my body had gotten.

Is it just me, or does anyone else feel incredibly anxious when your bell rings or someone knocks on your door when you aren't expecting guests?

Serial killers don't knock on doors before they enter.

Or do they?

I cracked the front door open before peeking one eye out, once I saw who it was I sighed. I sighed in relief that we weren't going to die, but I also sighed because it's not who I wanted to see.

Lindsay stood in front of me, not making eye contact.

"Can I help you with something?" I questioned, trying not to come off as rude but failing miserably.

"Yeah uh, can we talk? Like a real conversation without all the fighting?" She looked genuine. Her voice was small and when her eyes finally met mine I can tell she had been crying, her eyes redrimmed and cheeks puffy from tears stinging them. I ran a hand over my face and turned around, about to go ask Liam.

I didn't need to go far, he was peaking at the front door with Tyler on his hip, he stepped forward one step so I got a better view of him once he knew he was caught. I looked at him for the answer, which he gave me a small nod then kissed Tyler on his curly hair.

That boy needs a haircut.

But I like his hair like that, makes it feel like he's my actual kid.

Just like how this kid might be mine.

Fuck I need a drink, or I need to bury my dick in Liam's arse.

Maybe later.

I opened the door, wide enough for her to walk in.

"Be my guest," I said, it was clearly forced. I did not want her to be my guest nor did I want to be involved in this whole situation to begin with.

Guess I gotta fix what I started huh?

Time to prepare for another night full of hard conversations, and more than likely more tears.

Because I'm a trainwreck.

A trainwreck that's going to make Liam my husband someday.


	21. Chapter 21

Liam's POV

I can tell Lindsay was on edge just by how the room felt when she entered. It felt tense, but this situation we find ourselves in is tough so of course, it's tense. I felt anxious, instinctively, I pulled Tyler closer to my chest. Now that he's a little older, he's not always crazy about cuddling or us holding him, but I think he could tell something was wrong. He laid his head down on my shoulder and held onto me tightly, I knew he felt that I was off and had actually accepted my cuddling. 

"Well, should we sit at the table?" I suggested. Harry nodded and pressed a large hand onto my back. His protective front was back, it's how he gets whenever there's someone around that he doesn't trust even though someone like Lindsay poses no physical threat. 

We all took a seat at the table, Tyler still in my lap. Lindsay looked down at her hands while Harry intently stared at her with one of his hands on my thigh. 

"Well, what is it?" Harry asked, his voice strained like he was holding back on his anger. 

"I just wanted to get everything out in the open I guess. This situation is so messy and I realized it must be a lot on you guys, so I figured you'd want some type of answer." I nodded before setting Tyler onto his feet, asking him to go play which he did. I had a good view of the living room so I was able to watch him. 

"That would be really great. Let's start with the first that I have, how do you know for sure I'm the dad when I know you slept with so many other people?" Harry's grip on my thigh tightened as he said that. I ran my hand on his arm to calm him which worked but only slightly. 

"The truth is, I don't know for sure. The doctors said just with how the timing works there's a great chance it is yours, I'm about 14 weeks along." I thought about how that would work out. That was about three and a half months ago and Harry has been back for a month. He mentioned he had a couple of slipups and I'm guessing that's when it happened. I felt my face get hot as I started feeling tears build up behind my eyes. Just thinking about Harry being with anyone else makes me feel sick. It was also just getting hard to accept everything Harry did. I continuously forgive him, and I know I will continue to forgive him, but the weight of all his wrongdoings really was starting to become heavy. 

I felt a tear slip down my face. "Um, I think- I think I'm gonna go sit with Tyler for a minute, make sure he's okay." I just barely managed to choke that out before I got up and went to the living room. I felt the tears run down my face as I tried not to look at the pair in the kitchen, focusing all my attention on Tyler even if he wasn't focused on me. I suddenly felt a warm hand on my back. 

"Liam love, are you okay?" Harry whispered in my ear. I felt a small sob escape my lips, I tried suppressing it with my hand but it was already too late. Harry pulled me into him as tears fell uncontrollably. 

"This is just so hard H, hearing everything you did, knowing that this is real, that you might actually have a baby with someone else. It's just, all so much. I don't know how much more I can handle," I sobbed into his shoulder, gripping the back of his shirt like it was my lifeline. 

"I know Liam I know. I fucked up so so bad, and I promise I will spend the rest of my life making it all up to you just, just please don't leave me, Liam. I can't do this without you please, I need you." Harry gripped my waist tightly as he begged, his voice starting to quiver. 

"Of course I'll stay with you Harry, it's just so much to process at once." He nodded in a silent understanding. We held each other for a while longer before I pulled back.

"We're going to fix this together, okay baby?" I said while running my hand through his hair. He nodded and closed his eyes, pushing his head into my hand. When he opened his eyes he kissed me gently, our lips moving in perfect sync. 

Afterward, we made our way back into the kitchen where Lindsay was sitting there holding her purse close to her. 

"So let's say this is Harry's child, how do you plan on splitting custody with him?" I asked. Harry had grabbed my left hand, gently touching the promise ring that sat on my ring finger. He started lightly twisting it as I did with his when I wanted comfort. Something about them just helped me feel better, plus this promise ring had meant so much to Harry during his recovery that I'm sure it helps him just a little more. 

"I was kind of thinking every other week or something. I honestly don't know, I didn't think I would be having a baby so soon, especially alone." She sniffled with a small shake of her head.

"Okay, we'll get to that then. Do you have an ultrasound picture at all?" She nodded and started digging into her purse. I felt my breath hitch. Was I really ready to see the life growing in her? The life that might be Harrys? It was a little too late to answer that question as she pulled a picture out and handed it to us. 

I held the picture in shaky hands and stared at the little blob. Two kids. Two car seats. I looked at Harry who looked ghostly white. 

"Haz are you okay?" I rubbed his arm gently.

"I think I'm going to be sick." With that, he ran over to the garbage can and I trailed right behind him. I quickly pulled the lid off. He had a tight grip on the sides, seconds later he started heaving and gagging. 

"Oh baby," I cooed, running one hand over his back and the other combing his hair. Once he was finished he had tears streaming down his face from the intensity. I wiped them away and offered him some water before cleaning out his sick. 

"Are you going to be okay Harry?" I asked concern laced in my voice as I kissed his cheek. He nodded and sat back down with the bottle of water. He held the picture in his hands and closely examined it. I watched him watch it and cautiously grabbed the garbage can again, waiting to see if he was going to be sick again.

"Li, you can put that back but thank you, baby boy." I nodded and put the can back before leaning over Harry's shoulder, looking at the picture with him. 

"If this is your child Harry, I would think it would be beneficial for you guys to have the majority of the custody. I can tell you right now, I have not recovered the way you have. I still am out partying all the time, and I've struggled with drug and alcohol abuse. I don't think I would be a fit mother, I'm not even a fit carrier for this baby." She whispered the last part as tears ran down her face.

I looked at the picture, and I felt a glimmer of hope. Hope for the future. Hope for Harry and I and our ability to parent two kids. I even felt a little hope for Lindsay.

"We can get you help," I said. "If this is Harry's baby I want it to be healthy, which means you have to be healthy. You need to stop what you're doing. We will get you help." Harry looked up at me in surprise.

"Are you sure you're okay with this angel?" My heart warmed at the nickname Harry gave me, although he does have many for me, 'angel' is one of my favorites by far. I nodded and smiled warmly at him before pulling him up into a kiss.

"We're going to fix this Harry, just like we said. The first step is getting her help." He nodded and kissed me lightly on the cheek before turning back to Lindsay,

"Let's start looking at drug and substance abuse counselors." Harry went and grabbed his laptop and started pulling up resources. 

We spent the rest of the time searching for places that were willing to help pregnant drug addicts until we finally found a place we felt comfortable with. It was an outpatient therapy center that had a specialty area for women who are pregnant and need support. We set up an appointment for tomorrow, getting the soonest spot. The next part I knew was going to be hard on Harry and Lindsay, but it needed to be done. As she was standing up to leave I gently grabbed her arm, turning her to face me.

"Lindsay, if you want this to work, you have to get rid of any substances you have. So, if you have anything in your purse with you now, I would like to take it so I have some sort of peace of mind. Please." She looked at me with wide fearful eyes, and so did Harry. I knew Harry was scared of the unknown, how was he going to react being around his temptations?

"Liam, what's going to happen to me? I haven't even seen the drugs I've done in so long, what if I try to take them? I can't- I don't-" Harry started stuttering out, panic rushing to his face.

"Haz, please calm down baby. We'll handle it. Lindsay please, give us what you have." After a minute she hesitantly reached into her bag, pulling out four small bags of a powdered substance. I counted them so I would know if Harry tried to take one I would notice. 

Lindsay didn't say much, she just quickly rushed out after thanking us again. I knew she probably ached to take back the drugs she gave us, so the quicker she left the better. I took a peak into the living room to find Tyler asleep, I smiled gently and carefully laid him on the couch, covering him up with a blanket and placed a kiss on his cheek.

My next biggest challenge: Harry Styles. 

When I walked back to the kitchen he stood there staring at the little bags, one he was holding in his hand. 

"Haz baby, put the bag down lovey," I whispered, inching closer to him. His whole body was trembling and his eyes were glossy. It's like he couldn't hear me; mind completely blocking out everything but the little bag of powder. 

"Harry, please listen to me. Come back to me baby, please. I am right here, you don't need that any more sweetheart." I placed a hand on Harry's hip, the other lightly gripping his forearm. He looked at me with panic set in his eyes, his chest starting to heave with each breath.

"Li, I want it so bad, s-so bad. It hurts, please Liam." Harry sobbed, tears falling down his face as he clutched the bag tighter. 

"Love, let go of the bag. You don't need it, it's just a want like you said. Come on babes, let me take it." I gently covered his hand with mine. I slowly started prying his fingers off, it seemed to physically pain him. His eyes clenched shut and a sob wracked his body. If you had told me a year ago if I thought I would ever be comforting Harry like this I would have thought you were crazy.

But I would do this a thousand times over if it meant keeping him safe.

He finally let go of the bag with shaky hands. He collapsed onto the floor as he sobbed. As much as I wanted to comfort him I knew I had to get the substance away from him. I quickly dumped it all into the garbage, not really sure how else to dispose of it. I quickly went back to Harry. Seeing him so broken, sobbing on the floor and pulling his hair made my heart clench. Someone as precious as the man in front of me doesn't deserve this type of pain.

"Hazzy stop that baby, it's okay, you're okay. You're so strong, I'm so proud of you. Knew you could do it." I sat behind him and pulled his shaking body to my chest, pulling his hands away from his hair and holding them against his chest. He gasped for air as he choked on sobs.

"Deep breaths sweets, breathe with me yeah? In, and out. In, and out." I exaggerated my breathing so he could feel it on his back, guiding him to catch his breath. Slowly but surely, his breathing evened out and he collapsed into my chest, clearly exhausted from his internal struggle. Tears leaked out of his eyes effortlessly, a neverending flow. 

"I can't believe I almost did that Liam, I wanted it so bad," Harry whispered into my chest.

"But you didn't sweetheart, you are so brave and so strong. I'm so so proud of you lovey. You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. I love you so much, baby. My little baby."

"'m not little." I felt Harry smile against me, I knew he was starting to believe in himself, finally. 

I let out a laughed and squeezed him tighter. "Right now you are, my little Harry angel baby Styles." I pressed a kiss to his temple, I heard him giggle. A fucking giggle. He squirmed closer if that was even possible and kissed my collarbone.

"I'm the luckiest person alive Li, but only because I have you," Harry whispered after a minute of sitting in silence, just holding each other. I let out a laughed and brushed his hair out of his face.

"I don't know H, I'd say I'm the luckiest person alive." I smiled gently at his as he turned around to face me. He crossed his legs and pulled me into his lap, hooking my legs around his waist. He kissed my jaw, moving down to my neck and sucking a mark into it. I let out a sigh and tugged lightly on his hair while my eyes slipped shut. He lightly nipped at the mark he was sucking on before soothing over it with his tongue, I knew what he was doing. He was claiming me as his like he usually does after feeling vulnerable. It's almost like his way of expressing his dominance again.

And who was I to argue it?

He pulled back and looked at the mark and smirked, dimples indenting his cheeks. I poked one, it's almost second nature to do so. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him to me, pressing my lips to his. As we kissed I pressed my hand to his chest, his heart beating rapidly under my touch.

"Mmm, heart's beating fast H," I murmured against his lips, pulling away slightly. He pressed our foreheads together and looked into my eyes. His eyes were shining, but for the first time that day it wasn't with tears, it was with complete fondness, pure love.

"Beating for you baby boy," Harry said, gently grabbing my wrist and moving my hand under his silky blue shirt, pressing my hand to his bare chest to get a better feel. "Always beating for you." I nodded and kissed him again. 

"My heart is yours, Liam," Harry said after pulling back. 

"Is it?" He hummed in response. 

"Yep. My heart is yours and yours only. Please, keep it safe." Harry whispered the last part and pressed a kiss to my jawline. I pressed my fingers into his chest and used my other hand to lock our pinkies together.

"I promise you, I will always keep it safe," I said, looking deep into his eyes. In that moment we both knew this was it.

Sitting there on our kitchen floor, drugs in the bin, tear stains on Harry's cheeks, and my hand pressed on his chest, we knew.

This is forever. 

I'm not sure how long we stayed like that, maybe a half-hour. We just sat there holding each other and kissing.

"What time is it?" Harry mumbled against my lips. 

I looked at my phone quickly. "9:30, I have to work tomorrow, should probably go to bed. Ty is already sleeping on the couch." Harry laughed at that and shook his head before tapping my bum for me to get up. I stood and stretched, my joints popping. Harry pulled himself up and loomed over me, smirking.

"Why're you giving me that look?" I asked, lightly punching his arm.

"I told you, 'm not little." His smirk grew. I got a good look at him, no he isn't little. His shoulders are broad and he's about a head taller than me. 

Instead of arguing with him I wrapped my arms around his waist, pressing my face onto his chest. "Baby Harry angel Styles." I felt a laugh rumble in his chest as he rubbed my back. Once we pulled away he went upstairs to get ready for bed while I grabbed Tyler. 

As I slid my hands under him and held him to me, he woke up with a whine. "Daddy's here baby, just getting you to bed lovely." Tyler dropped his head onto my shoulder, letting his whole body go limp against mine. I got him to his room and changed him into pajamas before laying him down.

I pressed a kiss to his forehead and covered him up. "Goodnight baby, daddy loves you." I whispered. Harry walked in then, wanting to say goodnight to him.

Harry bent down and ran a hand through Tylers unruly hair. Tyler sensed it was Harry and not me and turned to look at him. He gave Harry a lazy, tired smile.

"Papa," he whispered, half asleep.

"Give papa a kiss sweetheart," Harry whispered. He gave Tyler a quick peck, then kissed him on his cheek. "Good night my sweet boy, your daddys love you so much." Harry swept one hand through his hair again.

"Love daddy's," Tyler whispered before falling into sleep. We made our way into our room. I slid off my jeans and put on a pair of shorts. My shirt came off and I flopped into bed. I didn't realize until then how exhausted I was.

I watched Harry tug his shirt off and his jeans, not bothering to put anything on before sliding into bed. 

Harry laid on his back while I turned so I was laying my head on his shoulder, my arm resting on his chest. His arm held my body close. We shared a few kisses, lazily pressing our lips together. 

"Goodnight H, I love you so much, sweets."

"Goodnight pet, I love you too baby doll." With that, we both fell asleep. I had sweet dreams that night of my love. Despite everything that happened, I couldn't help but replay the good things of the day. More specifically, something Harry had said, something I knew I would forever keep.

My heart is yours and yours only. Please, keep it safe.


	22. Chapter 22

Harry's POV

I woke up to an empty house. I knew this is how I would awaken because of the fact that Liam had to work and he usually brings Tyler to his playgroup on the way out. I felt like I was hungover. So many thoughts and feelings about yesterday resurfaced, I didn't leave bed until an hour after I woke up, at that point, it was 10:30.

I decided that I wasn't going to sit in the house and be sad, I was going to go out and do things. I had already agreed to meet with Lindsay after her consultation so I would have to leave eventually anyway. I changed into a grey shirt with a pair of black jeans, styling my curly hair upwards. I jogged down the steps, my gym bag over my shoulder. 

I hopped in the car and decided to pay Liam a visit at work. 

Is it bad I miss him already?

In my opinion, it's not, but others might think I'm obsessed with him. 

I stopped at a floral shop before going to his work. Why haven't I done this before? I need to treat him more.

I went straight to their roses, distinctly remembering the conversation him and I once had on flowers. 

"Lovie?"

"Mmm," Liam hummed from where his face was pressed against my neck.

"What are your favorite flowers?" I ran my hand down his back. We were in line to check out at the grocery store. I was eyeing the bouquet of flowers that the shop had in the corner, I've realized that I've never even thought about which ones he would like, but I knew he deserved a nice gesture.

"Why are you asking me this?" He let out a laugh and looked up at me inquisitively.

"Just curious love," I smiled and pressed a kiss to his cheek as we moved forward in line.

"I think I'd say white roses are my favorite. What are yours?" He squeezed his arms around my waist and pressed his face to my chest.

"You know, I never had a favorite until I met you. But I think my favorite are sunflowers." He looked up at me, curiosity shining in his eyes and I swear we were the only people in the whole goddamn store.

"How did I change that?" He whispered softly.

"Sunflowers are bright and vibrant; their sunlike appearance draws people in and has a way of radiating positivity and light. Just like you. You are vibrant and completely magnificent, your light and your energy is a force to be reckoned with; I swear I'll never get tired of looking at your brilliance." I stared into his eyes. His mouth was slightly agape. Suddenly, in the middle of the checkout line, he kissed me hard.

Beautiful.

Sunflower.

Vibrant.

I grabbed the biggest bouquet of white roses they had and went to the checkout lady.

"Hello!" She said cheerfully. I nodded and gave her a small smile.

"These are beautiful! For a lucky lady, I'm guessing? I'm sure you have a lovely woman," she smiled brightly and shot me a wink as I handed her my card.

"No actually uhm they're for a special man. Surprising my boyfriend at work today, I realized I don't do that enough and he deserves it." I awkwardly rubbed the back of my neck. This is usually when people get disgusted at the idea of two men being together and I storm out to my boyfriend who makes me feel loved and reminds me that there are decent people in the world.

"Oh! Well, I'm sure he will absolutely love them, they're beautiful, how long have you guys been together?" She had run my card and at this point, we were just chatting.

"I've loved him for over a year, I'm definitely the lucky one that's for sure." I looked down at the flowers then back up at her. "Thank you very much, but I have to run. Have a wonderful day," I smiled as she waved at me. I got into my car and made my way to Liam's office.

I had never been inside of his work before. Only the outside really, so when I entered the lobby I must admit I was quite lost since it was such a big building.

"Hello, can I help you?"

I jumped at the sound of a voice, almost dropping the flowers. I looked and saw a receptionist's desk to the right.

"Uh yeah, actually I'm uhm looking for Liam Payne's office?" I shifted my weight between my feet, the woman definitely didn't seem as welcoming as the one at the floral.

"I'll give him a call. And who are you?" She squinted her eyes at me, looking me up and down.

"Oh uhm I'm Harry- Harry Styles. Liam's boyfriend." At that, her eyes widened. She stood to get a better look at me.

"You're Liam's boyfriend?"

"Yes?" I didn't understand the big deal. Maybe he never talks about me and doesn't she know he's even with me.

That thought changed quickly by her next response.

"Oh my gosh, Liam never stops talking about you! I swear all that comes out of his mouth is you! I should've known you were his boyfriend, I've seen the picture on his desk. I apologize, you go right on up, his office is on the fourth floor," she said while pointing to the elevator. I gave her a hard smile and went on my way.

I pressed the button to get to the fourth floor. As I was in the elevator I felt anxious, I looked in the mirror and started fixing my hair and adjusting my shirt. The doors opened and I stepped out, making my way down the long hall. It mainly consisted of a few offices, a break room, a janitors closet, and a bathroom. Liam's office ended up being the largest one at the end of the hall. I smirked slightly because I knew he worked hard to get a nice office, my man did that.   
I lightly knocked on the door and then invited myself in.

And there he was.

Breathtaking.

Liam looked up as the door opened, pen in his hand. He looked like sex. His hair was messy from him probably running his hand through it, he had on a black button-up with the sleeves rolled and a red tie. When he stood I saw he was wearing black slacks and dress shoes.

I can fuck him on his desk right now.

But I shouldn't, I'm trying to be a loving boyfriend, not a sexual one right now.

Stop thinking with your dick, Styles.

"Harry! I didn't know you were coming. What're those about?" He gestured to the flowers as he made his way over, shutting the door I left open. I gaped at him for another second before I realized I should say something.

"Yeah I- you- I mean I was- I am- I planned on," I let out a frustrated huff as the words didn't seem to want to come out. Liam let out a laugh and kissed my cheek.

"You came to surprise me? Is that what you're trying to say, love?" He asked in a sweet low voice into my ear, I swear he's too good to me.

I finally composed myself and spoke.

"Yes, I was coming to surprise you, but goddamn I had no idea you'd look this fucking good when I saw you," I growled, pressing my hand to the small of his back and pulling him close to me.

"Well, I am at work babe I have to dress nice," Liam said and let out a laugh before kissing my jaw. "But thank you, these are absolutely lovely, I'll put them back here for now." Liam took the flowers and placed them on the window sill before walking back over to me. I lightly grabbed his thighs and set him on an open spot on his desk, standing between his legs. My grip was still on his legs as I lightly kissed his lips. He sighed into it and ran his hands up and down my biceps, both our eyes fluttering shut.

"Missed you this morning," I mumbled against his lips.

"I'm here now love," he whispered.

"I know, but I can't stay long. Got things to do." He hummed against my lips before kissing me again.

"What're your big plans for the day, H?"

"Stop and see my lovely boyfriend, check." He let out a giggle at that and pressed his face into my neck, kissing the skin there. "Then I was going to go to the gym and after meet Lindsay after her appointment. I hate to go without you especially since she's technically an 'ex' but I promised to meet her, I'm also going to be getting Tyler at two-thirty and he doesn't need to see that," I looked down into Liam's brown eyes and took in his expression. He didn't look upset by the fact I was meeting her alone.

"Haz, you know I trust you. I'm not worried about you meeting her without me. Just let me know how it goes yeah?" I nodded and pressed a kiss to his lips

"So, your receptionist lady said you never stop talking about me, that true?" I smirked as a blush formed on Liam's face. He nodded shyly before pressing his face to my chest. I backed away and grabbed the photo frame that was on his desk. It was an adorable picture of us I must admit. I smiled at the photo and set it back down on his desk before turning back to Liam. We talked for a while longer before I decided I should go if I wanted to stay on track. We kissed about ten more times and I ended up with a hickey, but after I finally left.

I arrived at the gym and shoved my stuff in my locker, pulling my shirt off and changing into a grey tank top and a pair of shorts. I wrapped my knuckles and stepped out into the gym, finding myself a punching bag.

"Hey, Styles!" I heard someone call out, breaking me out of my own little bubble. I was rather annoyed by the interruption, people know not to talk to me when I'm working out unless it's Liam.

"What do you want Shawn?" I asked, annoyance in my voice. Shawn runs the gym, he should know more than anyone to leave me alone. He had a small smile playing on his lips, despite my obvious frustration.

"So you've been going here for a while right?" I nodded and waved him to get a move on so I could finish. "Well, I talked to some people, and they want you to train them. Like, private one on one sessions where you'll get paid some damn good money. Some of them are like, on their way to being professional boxers H, this would be huge for you! And I know you can train people, I saw you do it with Liam." He looked excited. I've gone to this gym long enough to know they never offer private training, so this was a big deal for him and for me.

"I don't know man, how do we know I'd even be a good trainer? That requires having a personality." I shrugged and took a swing at the bag. I haven't had a 'job' since I moved back, I had planned on getting one but it just fell through. Being able to support my family and still go to the gym would be kind of cool.

"Come on Harry, you've got it all. You're an attractive bloke so you'll bring people in that way, you're physically fit so you clearly know what you're doing, and I know you've gotten in the ring before. I also know you know how to fucking demolish people in the ring; any potential boxer would be lucky to have you as a trainer. I know you probably have to talk to Liam but really think about it. Like we could be talking almost a hundred bucks an hour, H."

My eyes widened at that. A hundred bucks? That's a crazy amount. "Yeah, Yeah I'll talk with him and get back to you probably tomorrow. Wow, thanks for this man." I shook his hand, mind still in a slight daze.

"Of course Styles, you're by far my most reliable here and you would do great. I'll let you get back to it, but shoot me a text soon, alright?" I nodded and swallowed thickly. He clapped my sweaty back with his hand and walked away. I continued my workout, but the only thought that was running through my head was, what the fuck was I going to do? And why would I ever turn down such a good opportunity?

After I finished up and showered, I made my way to the park that I was going to meet Lindsay at. I was a bit early so I sat down on the bench and waited, scrolling through my phone and texting Liam. Five minutes later she showed, looking ghostly pale.

Withdrawl.

I knew the look, and it was plastered everywhere on her. The look of complete and utter exhaustion and desperation. There was something else though, something was wrong; more than the fact that she was crazing drugs.

"Uhm, hey Lindsay," I said while standing, trying to not be awkward. I gave her a side hug which she accepted gratefully.

"Hi Harry, how are you?" She asked, exhaustion present.

"So-so, how are you?" She sat on the bench next to me and shook her head.

"I've been a lot better."

I nodded. "I'm sorry for how I reacted when you were over, I was scared and if Liam wasn't there then I'm sure things wouldn't have gone as smoothly as it did." I let out a light laugh. She knew I was referring to the drugs and tried to laugh but really just gave a fake smile.

"I understand, you're lucky to have Liam, he clearly keeps you really grounded. I'm glad he took those away but I feel fucking awful physically. Haven't kept anything down in the past twelve hours." She paused and shook her head. "You guys make an amazing couple, I'm seriously jealous." A small smile made its way onto my face.

"You know, I'm going to ask him to marry me. I'm not sure when, but soon. I look at him, and I see my whole life. I'd be a fool to not marry him." She snorted.

"Harry, I'm pretty sure anyone with eyes can see you're absolutely smitten. You would be a fool to not marry him because your guys' absolute admiration for each other is crazy." I laughed at that comment and nodded my head. She's not wrong, anyone can tell we are hopelessly in love.

Okay Harry, back to the reason you're here; the baby.

"So, how did the appointment go?" Her face blanched at my question.

"Not so well let's just say that," she whispered. I immediately felt my nerves heighten.

"Why do you say that?" I turned so I was facing her directly, lightly covering her hand with mine. It was a gesture I never thought I would do, especially because it was her.

"Harry, I got some very bad news while I was there, I don't know how to tell you," she whispered, gripping my hand tightly suddenly.

"What? What happened Lindsay?" I was anxious, my breathing picked up and I felt my heart start to race. I didn't think I would be so invested so fast.

"Harry, they told me because of my drug abuse that the chances of the fetus surviving this pregnancy is so slim. They want to keep me at the facility so they can monitor me and the baby. We need to be prepared-" she paused as tears started falling down her face. "We need to be prepared for this baby to not make it," she sobbed. I felt numb. I was so focused on how I could prepare to take care of another life that I never even realized just how badly the repercussions of her addiction could be. That her addictions could kill this life.

I felt tears run down my face as Lindsay sobbed violently into her hands. I hiccuped a sob and pulled her into my chest. As terrible of a person she may be, we both needed the comfort. We were both hurting because this was our baby. She grasped my shirt tightly and pressed her face into my chest. I soothed my hand over her hair and down her back. Out of pure instinct to comfort her, I pressed a light kiss to her hair. It wasn't out of any sort of intimacy, it was out of the need for both of us to feel human at that moment; there is oftentimes nothing more vulnerable than realizing we are all human who desperately needs comfort in tough times.

And fuck.

How was I supposed to tell Liam?


	23. Chapter 23

Harrys POV

Lindsay and I eventually went our separate ways. She had to pack some things to take to the facility she would be staying in and I had to muster the strength to tell Liam. I realized we had finished talking earlier than expected, leaving me time to pick up Tyler.

To Lili: Hey babes, I'm gonna pick up Tyler and drop him off at Lou's, we need to talk just us, okay? xx

From Lili: Okay, everything alright? X

I honestly wasn't sure if I should answer honestly or say things are okay and tell him later. I decided to do what I felt was right and be honest.

To Lili: Honestly no. Everything isn't alright. We'll talk at home okay?

He answered almost instantly.

From Lili: Should I come home now???

To Lili: No baby it's okay, just come home right after work, please..

From Lili: Okay baby, let me know if I need to leave early, alright? I love you so so much darling xxx

To Lili: I love you to kitten. xx

I got into my car and pulled up Louis' number. He picked up on the third ring.

"Hey H, what's up?" The sound of Louis' voice had me choking up as I drove to get Tyler.

"Hey Lou, could you possibly watch Tyler for a bit? Liam and I need to talk, it's serious."

"Uh oh, trouble in paradise?" I heard the concern in his voice through the phone. A tear slipped down my cheek and I spilled everything to him. Lindsay being back and pregnant, my temptation to take her drugs, how Liam helped me, and the fact that the baby that was more than likely mine might not live.

"Oh Hazza, I'm so sorry babe. You're so brave you know that?" I let out a sob at that.

"Then why do I feel like such a fuck up?" I sobbed out, gripping the wheel tightly as I drove. My breathing was heavy and tears were streaming.

"You aren't Haz, it's just a hard situation to go through. Let's talk later okay? You calm down, don't want Tyler seeing you like that." I nodded and wiped my face.

"You're right, I'll talk to you later."

"Okay, I love you H," Louis said, his voice cracking. My throat tightened at that.

"I love you too Lou," I choked out before a sob wracked my body. We hung up and I cleaned myself up before getting Tyler.

I walked into his playgroup and immediately heard Tyler.

"Papa!" He squealed and lunged himself into my arms.

"Hi baby boy, you ready? We're going to uncle Louis' house for a while, how does that sound?" I put his jacket on him before pressing a kiss to his cheek and swooping him up into my arms.

"Lou, Lou, Lou!" He chanted. I love that he loves our friends so much and gets along with them so well, it's quite heartwarming.

"Yeah! You're going to have a great time lovie," I said as I buckled him into his car seat.

I drove quickly to Louis' house, pulling into his driveway. I let out a shaky breath before grabbing Tyler. Louis walked out of the house to greet us, wearing only a pair of sweatpants and a white shirt. Does he not know how cold it is outside?

"Where's my favorite nephew!" He yelled, bending down for Tyler to run into his arms. He jumped into Louis's arms and squeezed him tight. I smiled at the two, their relationship always makes me happy; knowing he trusts someone other than Liam and I makes my heart swell.

"Hey Hazza," Louis said pulling me into his arms. "Get your arse inside it's cold as fuck out here." I stepped inside his house, it smelt of vanilla and was warm; it reminded me of when I lived here except I used to hate everything about it at that time. Now when I walk in, it's comforting. It's now almost like a second home.

"Here, let's go in the living room, I pulled out some toys for Tyler," Louis stated, he grabbed Tyler and held him above his head, running into the living room making airplane noises. Tyler squealed loudly the whole time and I let out a light chuckle at the two of them. I pulled off my shoes and made my way in to see Louis already waiting on the couch while Tyler occupied himself with the toys. I sat on the floor by Tyler and held up some toys for him, but ultimately my mind was somewhere else.

"Well? What do you think of everything going on H?" Louis asked while holding out a toy truck for Tyler to take. My small boy sat down between my legs and drove the car up and down the span of my right leg, making little engine sounds. I ran my hand through his curly hair and shrugged.

"I don't know, on the one hand, I'm almost relieved? And I know that sounds terrible but it's true; I can't imagine taking care of two young children. On the other hand, I feel the need to take care of the baby and help, like I want to see the baby and hold it and everything but now, I might not ever get that." I shook my head. If I had any tears left to cry, I knew they would've fallen but they didn't.

"Yeah, I can understand that. But there's not much you can do about it right now. And ultimately? She did it to herself. If she cared enough she would've sought out help, you and Liam basically had to force her into going to therapy by the sounds of it. She needed to prioritize her life better and that's out of your control. What about when you saw the drugs she had? How did that all go?" Louis had eventually slid down onto the floor by Tyler and I, he grabbed a car and ran it over the carpet.

"That was the worst temptation I've ever had. I literally felt my skin burn for it. Liam pulled me away from it and luckily he was there to stop me. After he had taken the bag away and everything my head cleared a bit, but it took him fucking holding me to calm down. How crazy is that? I've been such a fucking mess recently, like how is he not sick of me?" I scrubbed my face with a hand and inwardly cringed at myself. I hated how my emotions were overpowering my entire being.

"H, he's not sick of you because he's madly in love with you. You and Tyler are actually everything to him like he would walk to the end of the earth for you. I know you probably don't see it but everyone around you does. The way you two look at each other looks right out of a love story. I admittedly envy it, I can't lie. Also, I know you feel like Liam is the only thing that stopped you from taking it, but remember you are strong on your own. You are your own person and you can accomplish anything with or without him. He's very dreamy, but he's not the sun. You are. Believe in yourself too, H." I nodded, soaking in all of his words.

"Thank you Lou, I really needed to talk with someone about this. And thank you, for constantly being there for me. It truly means everything to me." He slapped my arm lightly and smiled.

"I will always be there H. Now, let's talk about something positive. When are you going to propose to Liam?" I sighed and looked back down at Tyler. It's true, I have been planning to propose soon. I went out and bought a ring and everything. I had to save up so much money to get him one but I knew I had to. Every time I look at him I can't help but think about how I want to marry him.

"I'm not sure yet, I think once everything settles down I'm gonna ask him. I don't think it's a good idea to do that when there's so much going on. But I want to do it soon, he deserves the world and I want to give it to him." Louis nodded and pulled Tyler into his lap. I stayed for only a while longer before I left, making my way home to have my conversation with Liam.

I pulled into the garage and saw Liams car in the spot next to me. I quickly got out, I was excited to see him. After a day like mine I just craved him.

As soon as I got in, Liam was there. He jumped into my arms and held me tight. I could feel my stress melting off as I grabbed his thigh with one hand and rubbed my other over his back. I softly helped plant his feet back onto the ground and pulled out of the hug. As soon as I did his lips were on mine, kissing me fiercely.

"Missed you, H," he mumbled against my lips.

"I missed you too baby boy," I breathed out. I pulled away slightly but kept my hand on the small of his back while the other cupped his cheek.

"Well, shall we go talk?" Liam asked and grabbed my hand, kissing each fingertip. I nodded and walked towards the dining room. I grabbed his hips and helped him up onto the counter, spreading his legs to slot myself between them. I kissed his forehead lightly then the corner of his eye, then his cheek, and finally his jaw. He definitely knew I was trying to move away from the subject.

After sucking a few marks into his neck, I spilled everything. He didn't say much the whole time, which I loved him for. I didn't need comments, I needed him to listen. As I spoke about everything he nodded in understanding. I told him about how I was angry and sad, how I wasn't sure if I even wanted this baby, and how this baby might not make it. While I was talking, one of his arms dangled over my shoulder while the other was combing through my hair. My hands were resting on his thighs, rubbing patterns into them with my fingertips. Once I had finished I looked up to him, my silent way of permitting him to speak.

"That's a tough situation babes. We just have to hope for the best. In the end, whether it's yours or not, that's a human life. We have to hope for the best because everyone is important, correct?" I nodded in understanding. He was right. He was always right. "We just have to be there and be patient, in the meantime, we'll just love a little harder because each moment is sacred." He scratched lightly at the nape of my neck and pulled me into a sweet kiss.

"You're right lovie, thank you for listening. I'm so lucky to have you," I whispered and kissed his cheek. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him closer so he was almost on the edge of the counter. He wrapped his legs around my waist and his arms around my neck, kissing me deeply. I felt fucking drunk. His love is just so much, I feel woozy off of it.

Drunk off his love.

Completely wasted.

"Hmm?" Liam questioned looking at my face, I felt my eyelids slip down slightly as I looked at him. I gave him a half-smirk and started humming a tune as words formed in my head.

"I've had a few," I sang in a quiet voice.

"You drank while you were out?" Now Liam was very confused and it was adorable.

"Got drunk on you," I sang again, the lyrics piecing together in my head. "And now I'm wasted."

"And when I sleep I'm gonna dream of how you tasted," I swayed Liam and I back and forth, a smile had made its way into his face as he knew I was piecing together a song.

"That's all I got for now, but I like it." I pressed my cheek to his hair as I held him gently.

"It sounds like it would be a big hit H, you should write those lyrics down." I nodded and pulled out my phone, typing the words into my notes.

After a long silence, I finally spoke, "I'm scared, Li. I'm fucking terrified of what's going to happen." I shook my head and cupped his thighs again. He gently grabbed my chin and turned my face so we were looking into each other's eyes.

I see my whole future in those eyes.

"Don't worry about it baby," he whispered, pulling my head until it was leaning on his chest.

"Because you won't ever go through this alone, I'm right here, always." 

One month later

"That's fucking crazy!" I exclaimed. "Li, you gotta feel this." I removed my hand from Lindsay's belly and moved Liam's hand to the spot where mine was. We had gone to visit her about weekly at this point, checking in on the baby. She had just started to feel the baby kick and wanted us to experience it. Although the baby was developing, there was still so much wrong, but Liam's words replayed in my head constantly about hoping for the best. It's also just easier to pretend that nothing's wrong but I won't say that out loud.

"That is crazy," he said in awe while rubbing his hand over her bump. "How have you been feeling?" He said to Lindsay, pulling his hand away.

"Not the greatest but not the worst, I just take it a day at a time. As long as this little nugget inside of me is still okay then I know I'm okay." She ran her hand over her bump and a small smile played on her face. She looked much better than I ever remember her; she looks like a normal human being.

"That's good, hopefully, everything will turn out alright," I said and grabbed Liam's hand in mine. Today I had also planned on proposing to him, Tyler has been doing better than ever, our other baby is stable as of now, Lindsay is getting more tolerable to be around, and I got the job at the gym so now I'm bringing in loads of money for my little family. Life is fucking good.

And I'm so fucking in love with Liam.

We stayed and chatted for a while longer, it was pushing dinner time and that's when I had planned on taking Liam out and proposing. Lindsay was in on it and knew that around 5 she had to end the conversation.

"Well boys, this little nugget and I are ready to eat, so you guys better head out. Thank you for stopping by though, your guys' support means a lot." She stood up and pulled us into a short hug. When she pulled away she shot me a quick wink. I gave her a thumbs up and grabbed mine and Liam's coats.

"We'll see you soon Lindsay," Liam said tugging on his jacket and grabbing my hand. We bid our goodbyes and made our way out.

"Wanna go out to eat?" I looked at Liam and squeezed his hand.

"Sure, what've you got planned Styles?"

"Oh, I've got a little something in mind." With that, I gave him a sly wink. His face morphed into one of confusion and just shrugged. I opened his door and we got into the car, making our way to the restaurant. I had made reservations already and had everything planned out. I was ready for this.

We got to the restaurant, it was quite fancy. I dressed a little nicer which Liam had originally been confused by. I wore a semi-sheer black long sleeve which I rolled up to my elbows along with a pair of black jeans and boots.

"Haz, I'm not dressed up enough for a place like this," Liam whined as he saw people in nice dress clothes enter the restaurant. He was dressed in dark jeans and a sweatshirt, I wasn't going to tell him to dress up because I didn't want him to be suspicious.

"It's okay Li, you look completely beautiful in anything," I smirked as a blush made its way onto his face.

We walked into the restaurant and he stood behind me, shying away from people's gazes.

"Reservation for Styles please," I said.

"Ah yes you are all set, right this way gentleman," the hostess said, shooting me a sly smirk. Luckily Liam was busy looking around at everything and missed the look.

We got seated in the back, just like I had requested and she grabbed a bottle of Chardonnay, setting the bottle and two glasses on the table for us.

"Here's your menu, someone will be back to take your order." She smiled at us and walked away. Fuck I'm nervous.

My hands are actually so sweaty. Gross.

"Haz, what is this all about? Like Chardonnay? What's that about?" He laughed but poured a glass anyways.

"I don't know lovie, just a fancy place I guess." A smirk made its way onto my face.

"Reservation for Styles huh? So you planned this?" A smirk appeared on his face now.

"Can't I treat my boyfriend?"

"I suppose you can, I'm not complaining," he shrugged his shoulders and took another sip of the wine.

Eventually, someone came and took our orders, we ended up just chatting as we ate, but my nerves were increasing each minute. Eating became a harder and harder task.

"You done H? You usually eat everything," Liam laughed but he was right, I don't waste food. When he laughed his eyes crinkled and shined brightly. His energy was radiant.

He was completely stunning at that moment.

Time to strike.

"I guess I'm not eating because I've got a lot on my mind." I reached across the table and grabbed his hand, the other hand playing with the small velvety box in my pocket.

"Like what babes?" He ran his thumb across my knuckles. This is it Styles, don't fuck up.

"Like you." He raised an eyebrow at me. "I was thinking about everything we've gone through, the love I have for you, and how wonderful of a person you are. It's crazy to think we've only been back together for a few months, but it feels like I've loved you for years. Seeing you grow as a person, as a lover, and as a dad has been beautiful. You are beautiful. Every time I look at you, I see everything. I see my future, I see my happiness. You are everything to me." His eyes were big and watery, his lower lip trembling. "You accepted me despite all my flaws. You heal each and every one of my wounds by simply touching me. I can't imagine living without you." I slowly got down on one knee, his hand still in mine. A small gasp left his lips and he pressed his hand to his mouth.

"Liam James Payne, will you marry me?"

He looked at me, tears streaming down his face.

Beautiful.

Radiant.

Mine.

"Harry you fucking sap, of course, I'll marry you." With that he threw himself into my arms, I collapsed backward at the sudden impact but squeezed him tightly. People around us were staring, but I couldn't care less. Eventually, we both stood up and with a shaky hand, I wiped his tears.

"Gotta take this one off baby," I said pointing to the promise ring Liam had on. He laughed and nodded.

"You do it?" He whispered shyly. I nodded and pulled it off before pocketing it. I took out the engagement ring, it was mainly silver but had a gold band running through the middle of it. I slid it onto his finger and then held his hand, bringing it up to my lips to place a kiss onto his knuckles. He looked at it for a good minute before tears welled up all over again and a sob wracked his body.

"Oh babes," I laughed as I saw how many people were watching. I pulled him close and let him sob into my neck. He clutched the back of my shirt tightly and we stood like that for a while.

"I love you so much," Liam choked out as he pulled away.

"I love you too baby, always." With that we kissed, pressing our lips together like it was our last as people in the room clapped.

This is it; this is the forever I was waiting for.

Finally, everything felt perfect.


	24. Chapter 24

Two weeks later

Liam's POV

"Tyler, please let me get clothes on you," I breathed out. This had been a thing recently, him not wanting to get dressed. Currently, he was squirming out of my grasp and running around his bedroom with only a pull up on.

"No daddy!" He darted out past me, going straight for mine and Harry's room.

This little asshole is going to be the death of me.

"Papa! Papa! Papa!" I heard him shout as I made my way into the room. I entered to see him climbing on top of Harry, who groaned and sat up, supporting Tyler as he did so.

"What's going on you two?" His voice was raspy and deep since he had just been woken up. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and ran his hands through Tyler's hair. I could see the muscles in his naked back flex as he moved.

Fuck he was hot.

And I'm going to marry this man? I must be the luckiest person on the planet.

"Well, someone doesn't want to get clothes on," I sighed and sat down on the bed next to them. Tyler backed away from me and hid behind Harry, assuming that Harry wouldn't make him get dressed.

"Baby, come on why don't you want to get clothes on?" Harry gently took Tyler's arm and pulled him forward, sitting him on his lap.

"You always nakey," he whispered to Harry. I immediately burst out laughing, quickly covering my mouth. He's not wrong, Harry constantly walks around only in boxers so, in a way, it's Harry's fault.

"Baby, I'm not fully naked all the time I have pants on, and you need to get dressed so you can go to your playgroup and see Lux, unless you don't want to see her," Harry sighed dramatically and turned away from him. Tyler sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, clearly debating whether or not to put the clothes on.

He looked at me and reached his arms out, I smiled and knew that we won that battle.

Tyler: 0

Harry and Liam: 1

"Thank you, baby," I smiled and put his shirt on him, I can tell he was still upset about having to get dressed because he didn't assist me at all.

"And thank you, Mr.Styles," I whispered, leaning in and pressing a kiss onto his lips.

"You're welcome, Mr.Styles." I felt my breath catch in my throat, suddenly very aware of the engagement ring on my finger. I felt my chest constrict as my heart felt like it was enlarging in my chest with love. I pressed a kiss to his jaw and then his lips before getting out of bed.

"Come on you two, let's go eat something," I said while grabbing Tyler's hand.

We went downstairs and had a quick breakfast before I went to drop Tyler off. Harry didn't want to go, claiming he was too tired to come with.

When I returned home I didn't find Harry in the living room or kitchen.

"Babes?" I called out, going into our bedroom, only to find it empty.

Where the hell is he?

I panicked slightly, I trust Harry to care enough about himself to not do something stupid but I just never know, especially recently. These past couple weeks, he's been himself. In control, protective, and completely loving. He's been more emotional for sure, but nothing like he was a few weeks ago. If anything, he expresses his love and protectiveness for Tyler and I more now than ever. 

For example,

The other day we were at the store shopping.

"Alright Li, what else is on the list babe," Harry asked, carrying Tyler in his arms. Tyler had gotten distracted in an aisle and we lost him for only a second.

Harry lost his mind until we found him which was only 30 seconds after we saw he was gone.

He refused to let him walk on his own after that, he had to be holding him.

"We need eggs, milk, and cereal that's it." He nodded and pressed his hand to the small of my back, guiding me as I pushed the cart.

"I'll go grab the milk and eggs if you and Tyler can grab the cereal? Get us out of here faster," I said, noticing the store was getting busier and busier. 

"Yeah okay, we'll be right back love," Harry pressed a kiss to my cheek and split away from me. I could hear Tyler laughing as he pulled at Harry's curls that peeked out from under his beanie.

I made my way to the eggs and just as I was making my way to the milk someone came up to me.

"Let me guess, you're gonna get the 2% milk." I whipped my head around at the voice, only to be greeted by a familiar face.

"Andy! It's been so long man!" I laughed, pulling him into a hug. Andy and I were the best of friends, maybe even a little more back in the day. This was before I moved.

"Yeah, how are things?" He pulled back and looked into my eyes, biting his lip.

"Good good, things sure have been different since I left but it's all coming together," I smiled. He placed a hand lightly on my hip, I didn't think much of it, we've always been pretty affectionate.

"That's great Li, would I possibly be able to get your number? I don't think I have it saved anymore," he let out a light laugh.

"Yeah of course! I would love to see you more," I typed my number into his phone and handed it back to him.

"Listen, Liam, I would love to take you out properly, I know last time we weren't sure on how we felt but I would love to try again if you'd let me take you to dinner?" He bit his lip and had a hopeful look in his eyes.

"Actually Andy-"

"Actually he's taken," I heard Harry growl from behind me. A shiver ran down my spine at how deep his voice was, he was going full alpha-male mode, I could tell just by his presence.

"Oh, I didn't realize, I'm sorry," Andy rushed out. I turned and looked at Harry, his eyes a dark green, I could practically feel the fire burning in them. Tyler was preoccupied with Harry's phone, completely oblivious to the situation.

"And who are you exactly?" Harry questioned roughly.

"Haz, it's okay babe," I whispered grabbing his arm.

"I'm just making conversation, love." His eyes flickered back to Andy. "Well?"

"I'm Andy, Liam and I have been friends for years," he rushed out. Clearly intimidated by Harry.

"I see. Well, it was great chatting, but I think it's about time my fiance and I head home. Our son is getting tired." Andy nodded and smiled lightly.

"Talk to you later Li, it was great seeing you." With that Andy was gone. We had rushed out of the store after that and to the car.

We got home and Tyler was asleep in the backseat. I got out to grab him as Harry rushed to my side, pressing me against the car before I could open Tyler's door.

"You are mine," Harry growled as he nosed my neck, then sucking a mark into my pale skin.

"Yeah H, I'm yours," I breathed out while running my hand through his hair.

He growled low in his throat and continued working his way down my neck.

"Everyone needs to know that you're mine," he growled again, pressing my body harder into the car.

After what felt like forever, his assault on my neck stopped. I could feel that there was going to be plenty of bruises on my neck. I pulled out my phone to look at my neck in the camera, although Harry's smirk alone told me I was marked pretty damn well.

I gasped as soon as I saw my neck.

"Well if people didn't know they sure as hell know now, Jesus Harry."

He laughed and kissed a bruise that was in my skin, "Good, you're only mine. Love of my life." 

That's one of the many times he's been super possessive, which I realize is kind of unnecessary since we're engaged.

We're guaranteed forever together, so he shouldn't be worried.

Finally, I heard a sound coming from his music room, I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

I cracked the door and saw him sitting at the piano in the middle of the room, pages from his journal on display as he sang a song he wrote.

"Don't let me go

Don't let me go

Cause I'm tired of feeling alone"

He paused and flipped the page, changing keys on the piano. 

"I promised one day I'd bring you back a star

I caught one and it burned a hole in my hand, oh

Just trying to make you understand

I'll keep my eyes wide open, yeah

Don't let me

Don't let me

Don't let me go

Cause I'm tired of feeling alone 

Don't let me

Don't let me go

Don't let me

Don't let me

Don't let me go

Cause I'm tired of feeling alone

Don't let me

Don't let me

Don't let me go

Cause I'm tired of feeling alone

Don't let me

Don't let me go

Cause I'm tired of sleeping alone"

I smiled as he finished and proceeded to enter.

"That was beautiful H," I said as I rubbed his shoulder, he didn't even jump. "I didn't scare you?"

"Baby, I felt that you were here as soon as you cracked the door, you definitely did not scare me," he laughed, turning on the piano bench so he was facing me. I sat on his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck while his made their way around my waist.

"Love you," I mumbled into his neck, peppering kisses from his collar bone to his jawline. He pulled my face away and brought me into a kiss.

"I love you too baby boy," he smiled at me once we pulled back, complete fond in his eyes.

"Your hair's getting long H," I laughed lightly as I tugged at a piece of hair that was down to his shoulder.

"I like it, might keep it."

"Cut it for the wedding at least?" I heard his breath hitch. Talking about weddings is still so new to us, hell looking at the ring on my finger makes my heart rate increase. 

"If that's what you want, then yes I will cut it." A small smile played on his lips. 

"Maybe a trim, we'll have to see how this looks at that point." We had set a date already, but it wasn't for a while. It was set for early October, we both wanted it to be fall so we had about 10 months until then. 

"I quite like how it is now though," I admitted, lightly tugging on his hair. He let out a small groan and squeezed my hips. A smirk made its way onto my face, maybe him having long hair wouldn't be a bad idea.

I pulled again but harder, a growl made its way from his chest.

"Li, don't start something you can't finish," he groaned, rocking up into me. I leaned in close to his ear. 

"Who says I can't finish?" I whispered and pulled his hair again. A loud groan made its way from him. He grabbed my thighs and stood up, making me yelp. "Where are we going H?" I kissed his neck lightly. 

"Bedroom." Was all he said. I laughed, he was always eager when it came to sex, mainly because we don't do it very often (not as often as he would like to at least).

I pressed our lips together as he kicked the door open to our room. In the midst of our kiss, I felt him gently lay me down on the bed, getting on top of me and grinding his hips down into mine. I pulled away, letting out a gasp as he snaked his hand between our bodies, pressing against the bulge in my pants.

"Haz please," I whimpered, pushing into his hand.

"Shh, I'm gonna take care of you lovely," he whispered in my ear, making me shiver.

Harry reached up and twisted a hand into my hair, tugging lightly. I let out a whine, baring my neck for him. He growled low in his throat before attaching his mouth to my neck; instantly finding my weak spot that had me moaning out.

Fuck, we really do seem like animals.

He sucked a hickey into my neck, lapping at it gently with his tongue before pulling away. He sat up and pulled his shirt off before pulling mine off, then my sweatpants.

"Love you, sweetheart," he said, pressing light kisses down my chest, making his way down to my boxers. They felt incredibly tight as my dick strained against the black material.

"L-love you H," I breathed as he pulled them down, the tight confine finally gone. He pulled my boxers all the way down my legs, and then took my cock into his mouth.

Without warning, he took me all the way down until I felt the head of my cock hit the back of his throat. He gagged slightly before calming himself down.

"H-haz, fuck babe," I cradled the back of his head, everything happened so suddenly I barely had time to process that he took my whole dick.

With that he bobbed his head up and down, sucking as he raised his head, swirling his tongue around the tip before swallowing me.

You could imagine that it didn't take long for the heat to build in my stomach with a mouth like his.

"Baby, I-I'm g-gonna, fuck," I got out before he pulled off my dick completely, wrapping his hand around the base of my cock, stopping my orgasm. I whined loudly and tried to push his hand away.

"You're gonna wait, you don't cum until I tell you," he demanded. I shivered at his tone and looked down at him, his lips were so fucking red and he looked absolutely delicious.

"Do you understand me?" He gripped my cock tighter, making me let out a high pitched whine as I nodded. "Use your words sweetheart."

"Yes, yes I understand," I gasped out as he licked from where his hand was holding my dick at the base all the way to the tip. He hummed and sucked the head of my dick into his mouth quickly before releasing my dick completely.

I looked up at him with wide eyes. Was he just gonna leave me like this?

He smirked at me, that signature lopsided smirk, making a dimple appear. He was putting on a show and he knew exactly what he was doing. He ran his hands from his chest all the way down his body, rubbing over his crotch through his jeans before rubbing down his thighs.

"What do you want Li?" He rasped out, I was practically drooling at the sight.

"I want- want you H, want you, only you please please please," I begged as I crawled towards him, mouthing at his bulge through his jeans. He groaned and pushed my shoulder, lightly pulling me away from his dick. I pressed my cheek against his jean clad thigh and figured that if he was gonna make this hard I'd start begging again.

"Please H, I want you so bad daddy please," the words spilled out of my mouth as he ran a hand over my cheek. That hand suddenly froze.

"What did you just call me?" It took me a minute to think of what I called him, then I realized. I fucking called him daddy.

I must be really gone.

"D-daddy," I said, pressing my face into his thigh. A growl ripped through his throat and he pressed me towards his dick.

"Fuck that's so hot baby," he breathed. I continued to mouth over his bulge, the fabric of his jeans getting wet.   
Was it from my mouth or his dick? Both I'm sure.

"Enough Li, take my pants off baby." I nodded frantically and pulled at his belt before carefully unzipping his pants, struggling to pull them down.

"Fucking hell, you and your tight fucking jeans," I muttered. He let out a breathy chuckle and helped pull them down. As soon as his pants were down I pulled down his boxers, exposing his hard cock.

Instantly, he grabbed the back of my head and pressed his dick into my mouth, making me take it all the way down. I gagged, tears coming to my eyes as he pressed my head down. I gripped his thighs and willed myself to calm down, just wanting to please him.

He thrusted in and out of my mouth a few times before releasing my head, letting me take control. I pulled off and gripped his cock, frantically tugging on it while precum bubbled at the tip.

"Harry please, want you in me, please fuck me please," I cried out, leaning my face against his pelvis as I watched my hand tug at his cock.

"What's my name, Liam?" He breathed, watching me through hooded eyes. I almost said his name was Harry, but I knew that wasn't the answer.

"Daddy, daddy please I want you," I whined, looking into his very green eyes.

"Okay baby, I'll give it to you, lay down for me love." I nodded and scrambled back onto the middle of the bed, laying on my back. I watched as he searched for the lube, mainly watching his cock which was red and leaking. I looked down at my own, straining against my stomach. I reached down and jerked myself off until Harry smacked my hand away.

"No touching yourself," he demanded, lightly slapping my thigh. It felt oddly good, making me moan out. "You hear me?" he asked as he poured some lube onto his fingers.

"Yes daddy," I whispered as I felt a cool finger press against my entrance.

"Good boy, so good," Harry smiled up at me. He used his forearm to push my legs apart slightly, then slid a finger into me.

"F-fuck daddy please, shit," I moaned loudly, pressing down frantically onto the finger. He slapped my thigh again making me keen.

"No moving baby, be good for me."

"Y-yeah," I whined, gripping the sheets so hard that my knuckles were white. He eventually pressed a second finger into me, stretching me open.

He thrusted those two in an out, before giving me the subtle warning that he was gonna press a third into me. I tensed, feeling a slight burn at the stretch. He reached his other hand up and rubbed my thigh gently.

"Calm down baby, just relax, it'll feel better if you do," he kissed my inner thigh gently. I knew it would stop burning, but his words of encouragement always relaxed me immensely. I took a deep breath and relaxed, I felt him smile against the inside of my thigh before rocking his fingers in.

"Good boy, there you go baby," he whispered, sucking a bruise on the inside of my thigh. He curled his fingers just slightly before finding my prostate.

I moaned loudly and pressed down, "there, there please daddy please, fuck me fuck me fuck me please," I cried out, feeling the pressure build behind my eyes. I always get emotional during sex it seems, but Harry loves taking care of me and I love letting him.

"Okay baby, daddy's gonna take care of you, okay love? Deep breath baby boy," he pulled his fingers out and grabbed the lube again, rubbing some on his cock. He gave himself a few tugs before looking down at me, a sweet smile made its way onto his face.

He leaned down and kissed me, it was deep and so so fucking loving. "Haven't kissed you in a while. I'm gonna take care of you now sweetheart, okay?" I nodded at his words. He lightly pressed a kiss to my cheek. He leaned down onto his forearms so he was hovering above me. He reached down and grabbed his cock, lining up to my entrance before slowly pushing in. I whimpered at the intrusion because it felt so fucking good.

He eventually bottomed out and paused to give me time to adjust. I could tell he really wanted to move as his body slightly twitched.

"I'm okay daddy, please," I whispered, wrapping my legs around his waist to press him deeper into me. He nodded and lightly rocked in and out of me, groaning into my neck.

"Fuck baby, how are you still so tight?" He groaned out.

"You're just so big daddy, fuck," I breathed, gasps breaking up my sentence.

He eventually started rocking into me faster and was adjusting frequently, clearly searching out my prostate.

And boy did he know when he found it.

As soon as he hit it I practically screamed and clawed at his back. "There, there, there daddy please fuck!" I rocked down, meeting his thrusts as he started pounding into me.

"Yeah, baby? Right there?" He groaned out. I nodded frantically and gripped the back of his neck. At this point, my eyes were tightly shut, but I decided to take in how he looked.

And god did he look incredible.

His hair was flopping, some strands sticking to his forehead. Sweat trickled down the side of his face as he thrusted into me. He was looking down at where our bodies met, watching as his dick disappeared into me. His chest and abdomen were shining with sweat, making his tattoos look that much darker. His face was contorted slightly, eyebrows furrowed with his bottom lip tucked between his teeth as he grunted out; clearly he was trying to hold back his own noises.

How he looked alone almost sent me over the edge.

I didn't think it was possible, but he picked up speed, ramming my prostate over and over again, making me sob out.

"D-daddy I'm so close, please," I pulled at his hair gently.

"Hang on baby, I'm almost there," he breathed.

"Please daddy, please cum in me," I whispered into his ear as I felt tears build up from how overwhelmed I was. I knew dirty talk could send him over. I also knew it worked when I felt his thrusts start to stagger.

More noises fell from his lips as his thrusts became erratic, "n-now baby boy, fuck," he shouted before pressing as far into me as possible, holding himself there as he released.

He reached up and tugged at my cock once before I was releasing, a loud moan fell from my lips as I rocked down onto his dick while also trying to rock up into his hand.

The room was completely silent aside from our heavy breathing. I felt him reach up and wipe the tears off my face that had fallen.

"Did so good baby," Harry said as he pressed a kiss to my shoulder, working his way to my mouth. He gently pulled out and then lifted me into his lap.

"Was that okay?" He asked once we pulled away.

"Amazing babe, thank you," I said. I pressed my face into his neck, seeking his comfort.

"I love you so much," he said as he ran his hands up and down my back.

"I love you too. Should we clean up?" I asked looking at myself. I definitely was not enjoying the feeling of my cum drying into my skin.

"Yeah baby, let's go shower quick." He tapped my thigh, signaling for me to get off him. He stood up and turned around, holding his hand out for me.

"Carry me," I pouted.

"Li, I just had an orgasm, I don't know if I can I'm kinda weak right now," he laughed while pulling on my arm.

"No you have energy now because you had an orgasm, carry me. Plus you wrecked me so I think I deserve it," I said sweetly, still reaching out to him.

"You're fucking impossible," he laughed while shaking his head. He easily swept me into his arms, carrying me to the bathroom.

"See! Look at you, easy Haz!"

"Yeah yeah, get your cute arse in the shower love." He pulled me under the spray after setting the water to the right temperature. We took a good half hour shower, mainly holding one another while the water ran over us. It felt nice, just being so close to him.

We got out and dried off before changing into clothes. We eventually made our way to the living room to watch TV, Harry and I didn't seem to get many days to ourselves so we took advantage of the time we had.

Until his phone rang. 

Harry's POV

"Who the fuck is calling," I muttered and reached for my phone. "Oh for fucks sake." Of course, it was Lindsay. You know, I do like her more than I did in the past but I would rather her not interrupt my time with my fiancé.

"Yes, Lindsay?" I said, trying to not sound irritated.

"Harry," she cut off with a sob. I sat forward abruptly, causing Liam to look at me with concern.

"What's going on?" I stood, getting ready to put my shoes on as my heart started racing.

"It's the baby Harry, you have to hurry." She sobbed loudly.

"Lindsay, we'll be right there just calm down," I motioned for Liam to come as I grabbed the car keys and walked out.

"Please Harry hurry, I don't want to be alone during this please."

"Shhh, we'll be there soon, see you in like ten minutes okay?" I ran a shaky hand through my hair and tossed the keys to Liam as he walked out the door, I knew fully that I was not competent enough to be driving. I quickly hung up the phone and jumped into the passenger seat, almost immediately Liam started driving, not even fully knowing what was happening. 

"Baby, please talk to me, what's going on?" He asked, grabbing one of my shaking hands. 

"I don't, I don't even know she just said it has to do with the baby and- and that's all I got, I don't fucking- I don't fucking know." I squeezed his hand tightly, I'm sure it hurt but he didn't complain, he never does. 

"Okay, it's okay Haz. We don't know what's happening, we just have to take it a step at a time alright?" I nodded and took a deep breath. 

On our drive, I texted Niall, Zayn, and Louis and invited them to stay at our house and watch Tyler once his playgroup was over. I asked them if they could stay if this took a while and had offered basically all of our food up along with our gaming systems to keep them occupied, they, of course, didn't turn the offer down. 

We got to the rehabilitation center and quickly headed in, going to Lindsay's room. When we got there, she had her therapist and a couple of doctors in the room while she laid there, crying. My heart dropped. I knew this was probably it. 

"Harry, Liam, come in." She sat up slowly and motioned for us to come into the room. It felt heavy, I wanted to get out. I felt sick.

"What's going on?" Liam asked, rubbing my arm gently. 

Lindsay looked at the doctor, tears flowed freely down her face. I've never seen her look more human. 

"Today we went to take an ultrasound of your guys' baby." The doctor hesitated before continuing. "We, unfortunately, couldn't find a heartbeat. We determined this pregnancy no longer viable and we'll have to deliver the fetus. Our team here wish we could've done more, but there were a lot of things that we saw that made this pregnancy very uncertain. I am so sorry for all three of you." 

I was completely numb. My ears were ringing. I couldn't breathe. I looked at Liam, who had tears running down his cheeks. 

"Haz, speak to me love," he said, cupping my face. I suddenly felt super sick

"I think, I think I need some air." I looked at Liam, who nodded and guided me out of the room and out of the center, the wind hitting my face. 

It literally felt like it slapped me back to reality because that's when it all hit me.

My unborn child is dead. 

I pulled my arm from Liam's grasp and jogged to the nearest bush, retching into it. 

My baby, gone. 

At the thought, I gagged more and tears started streaming down my face, and not just because I was throwing up. 

I felt a hand on my back and instantly knew Liam was behind me. 

I stopped throwing up a few seconds after he started soothing me. He was like an anchor in my life.

Hold me down, baby. 

I wiped my mouth and felt a sob escape my mouth. I collapsed back into Liam's arms, fully trusting that he would support me. I sobbed for what felt like hours, my chest ached and I couldn't breathe as I wallowed in grief. 

"Harry, we need to go back in. We can't leave her without any support." I nodded and desperately tried to wipe my tears away, but they kept coming. "Harry, it's okay. Let yourself cry babe," Liam whispered, pulling me off the ground. I nodded and sniffled loudly before grabbing his hand and walking back in.

We made our way back into the room where Lindsay was. Immediately, I went up to her and pulled her in my arms. I held her tight, giving her the comfort that I knew she needed. 

With that, we held each other and cried, Liam eventually joining. We stayed like that until the doctors said they were going to have to deliver our baby. 

Liam and I stayed there through the whole process.

We got to hold her for the first and last time. 

We stayed with Lindsay, planning what we should do until nearly midnight. I had run out of tears at nine that night. 

Liam drove us back home and kept a comforting hand on my leg. Come to think of it, I don't think there was a time at all during the whole process where he wasn't touching me. 

When we got to the house, the boys were all there and up, waiting for our return. Tyler was already in bed thankfully. My eyes filled with tears I didn't know I had left when I saw them. They each had provided comfort to me and barely spoke thankfully. I also didn't miss how they held Liam and I certainly didn't miss how he lost the control he had the second Niall told him that "it's okay if you cry too, you also experienced a loss." 

I will forever be grateful that they were there for Liam when I couldn't be, I know he's strong but I also know he wanted this baby just as bad as I did, if not more. 

After we cried and held one another, Liam and I sulked up to our room. We stripped down to our boxers, not really bothering with pajamas and crawled into bed. Usually, I like to be the big spoon but it's like Liam just knew because he instantly held me to him. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to will away any image or thought from today out of my mind. Liam rubbed my back and whispered comforting words in my ear. 

"We'll be alright baby, we can make it through this. Just go to sleep love, take your mind off of everything. You handled yourself so well today, we'll get through it." He repeated his mantra of sweet nothings until I had visibly calmed down. I pressed my ear to his chest, listening to his heartbeat. I threw a leg over his hip and gripped onto his side, holding him like I was afraid he would disappear. 

I shut my eyes, the exhaustion of the day finally catching up. 

Finally, I fell asleep to the Liam singing softly into my ear, both of us trying to pretend like we were alright.


	25. Chapter 25

Liam's POV

To say the miscarriage threw Harry's progress for a loop was an understatement.

There were many nights where he came home intoxicated after work, not pulling in until one or two in the morning. Most nights, (especially if he was drinking) he wanted to have sex. Usually, I would be alright with it because it was always a good experience for both of us, but now it was always rough and not enjoyable for me especially if he was drunk. 

Like tonight.

He grunted, thrusting in one last time before pulling out of me and rolling to his side of the bed. I had been sleeping since I had a rough day at work and had to take care of a very grumpy boy afterward. Harry had insisted I wake up, the smell of alcohol on his breath as he woke me up by sucking marks into my neck. All I wanted was to sleep and relax. 

I turned and looked at my fiance. He was still so beautiful, despite what he does or says. He's been so bitter recently that it makes it hard to be around him, I just want my baby back. 

"Haz?" I whispered, his eyes were shut. He didn't respond thankfully. I wanted to clean up and then be left alone. 

I made my way to the bathroom, wincing at the soreness in my bum, I grabbed a washcloth and cleaned my entire body. I felt disgusted with myself, I felt violated. I made my way back to the bedroom, as much as I hate Harry right now, the overwhelming desire to take care of him took over. I carefully wiped his body down with the washcloth and covered him up before exiting the room. 

I made my way down to the kitchen and made myself some tea, I felt so exhausted but the thought of sleeping next to Harry right now made me want to throw up. 

"Fuck!" I shouted as I dropped the coffee cup on the floor, it shattered into a million pieces. I ran a shaky hand through my hair and moved to clean it up when I heard little feet pattering into the kitchen.

"Daddy?" I turned and saw Tyler standing there, rubbing his eyes with one fist while the other held on tightly to his stuffed puppy. 

"Oh, hi baby boy, I'm sorry did I wake you?" He shook his head and made grabby hands towards me, signaling for me to pick him up. I propped him on my hip as I went to dump the shards of glass into the garbage and get a new cup. "Why are you awake sweetheart, it's nearly three in the morning." I swayed with him in my arms as I sipped my tea. He laid his head on my shoulder and tried to muffle a yawn into my neck. 

"Want Papa," he whispered, lightly stroking a hand over the puppy's fur. He hadn't seen Harry all day.

"Do you want me to see if he'll give you a cuddle? Then you have to go back to your bed love." I did not want to wake Harry up, I didn't want to hear his voice. 

"Noooo I s'eep with him, daddy," Tyler whined as tears started forming. I sighed but nodded and made my way to our room. 

I cracked the door and noticed Harry hadn't left the position he was in before I left. I carefully set Tyler on the bed, telling him not to move quite yet. I made my way around to Harry's side and shook his shoulder. 

"H, wake up." He groaned and pushed me away a little harder than I had expected since he was just fully asleep. I ended up stumbling backward a bit but regained my balance. "Harry, wake up right now," I said a little more sternly. This seemed to do the trick.

"For fuck's sake, what do you want?" He grumbled, glaring up at me. I threw a pair of boxers at him that were on the floor. 

"Your son, if you remember who that is, wants to cuddle with you. He has barely seen you in days Harry." I crossed my arms and watched as Harry pulled the boxers on underneath the sheets.

"Of course I would remember who my own son is, why would you even make that comment?" His hard glare turned towards me, a slight scowl on his face. I just shook my head, making him sigh and turned towards the boy who was sitting in my spot, clutching his stuffed animal tightly. "Come here babe, come cuddle with Papa," Harry smiled at Tyler and pulled him into his arms. The little boy gripped Harry tightly and pressed his face into his neck. "See, I know who my goddamn son is."

"It'd be nice if you remembered who your fiance was too," I whispered and shook my head. I left the room without even glancing back. I felt tears build in my eyes. I was physically and emotionally hurt. My body was aching and my heart felt heavy. I sat down in the living room, looking out the window at the pitch-black street as I swirled my tea in my cup, letting my tears fall freely. 

I don't remember falling asleep, but when I woke up it was brighter out. The sound of Tyler giggling in the kitchen capturing my attention, but what really confused me was when I heard Harry out there too. 

"Baby, should Papa sing to you?" I heard Harry ask the giggling boy. 

"Yeah! Papa sing!" 

"Okay baby I'll sing a little something," Harry laughed. I felt my breath hitch and my throat tighten. 

'Sweet creature  
Had another talk about where it's going wrong  
But we're still young  
We don't know where we're going  
But we know where we belong

And oh we started  
Two hearts in one home  
It's hard when we argue  
We're both stubborn  
I know, but oh

Sweet creature, sweet creature  
Wherever I go, you bring me home  
Sweet creature, sweet creature  
When I run out of road, you bring me home'

At this point, I couldn't listen anymore, so I pulled myself up and walked into the kitchen where Harry was feeding Tyler some oatmeal on the counter. 

"Daddy!" Tyler yelled when he saw me. Harry whipped his head around and looked at me with wide eyes. 

"Good morning babe, you all ready for the day?" I asked, completely avoiding Harry. I could tell that Harry had gotten him ready for playgroup as he was dressed in jeans and a tshirt and his little bag was packed. 

"Uh huh, Papa helped!" 

"That's wonderful baby, Daddy's gonna go get dressed then we'll go, okay?" He nodded and shoved a handful of oatmeal into his mouth, only actually getting about half of it in. I felt Harry watch me as I walked away but he didn't say anything. 

I got dressed as fast as my aching body would let me, all of my muscles were screaming at me to just stop. 

"Alright babes, you ready?" I called as I threw on my coat as Harry wiped Tylers face. He nodded, his curly hair bouncing as he did so. 

Just like Harry's. 

"Jacket love," Harry said and helped Tyler put it on and zipped it up. I picked up the little boy and set him on my hip, making my way towards the door. To get to the door I had to walk past Harry. 

I didn't look up, I just kept walking. As I was almost out of Harry's reach, he caught my arm and pulled me towards him. It was quick, but he placed a quick kiss on my cheek and then let go, walking back towards the living room. I felt a rush of butterflies in my stomach. That was the first time in two weeks that he showed any affection to me outside of sex. 

I took a deep breath and kept going, Harry and I will be talking when I get home. 

I quickly got Tyler settled at his group and then rushed home. I didn't want Harry to leave before I got home, I needed this, and I'm sure he did too. 

I rushed inside the door, I saw his car was still parked so I knew he was home. I looked in the kitchen and the living room and didn't see him. I went to our bedroom next where I found him, head hung low with tears running down his face. I also noticed the sonogram picture clutched tightly between his fingers. 

I took a deep breath, do not give in Liam. Do not give in. 

"H, we need to talk." I somehow managed to stand my ground but the words definitely sounded forced. He quickly turned around and looked at me, wiping frantically at his face before shoving the picture into his back pocket.

"There's nothing to talk about Liam," he rasped out. His voice was hoarse. Between his voice and the way he looked with his puffy red eyes and red lips that contrasted beautifully to his pale complexion, I just wanted to wrap him up and hold him while watching a film, or watch a storm from outside. Either way, he looked like home, and it killed me. 

"Harry, you know we have to talk." I crossed my arms and stared into his face. He waved a hand as if motioning for me to continue. I decided maybe a softer approach will loosen him up. "You've been acting so different babe, you barely spend time with Tyler anymore and this is the first real conversation you and I have had in ages, since the incident." I saw him tense at that. "It's been three weeks, and I know it's hard but you have to let me back in Haz, and you need to stop turning to alcohol and my body to make yourself feel better." At that he stood up and shoved me against the wall.

"You NEVER tell me what I can and cannot do Liam, you got that? I'm an adult and I can make my own choices and if I want to go out and have a few drinks with a few friends then who fucking cares? Why can't you let me enjoy myself!" I felt myself boil with rage.

"How do I know what you're doing when you go out for a drink Harry? Huh? Because as far as I know you could be shagging a fucking girl while you're there and I wouldn't know because you're far too drunk everytime I see you! And yeah I get you can make your own decisions but you can't use my body to cope Harry! That's fucking rape!" I screamed at him and felt tears glide down my cheeks. I quickly wiped them away, trying to keep my composure. 

"Do you not fucking get it Liam? Are you even fucking listening to me? I lost my child Liam! My own baby Liam! If going out and having a bit of fun is my way of coping then so be it! Do you not understand what I'm going through?" 

"I fucking lost too Harry!" At that he went silent as I screamed. "I lost too! I wanted that baby so badly and you know that! All I've done is support you in every shitty decision you've made and god forbid I decide I don't want to be your sex object! I was there too when Lindsay delivered her, I held her for a few moments when I also wanted a few years, I fucking experienced pain too, and where the fuck has my 'loving' fiance been? Finding something better at a bloody bar or club." Harry was looking down at the floor, harshly biting his bottom lip. I wanted to pull it out and kiss it better, but I couldn't stop the rage either.

"I try to be enough constantly, but I am so fucking tired Harry, I'm tired of fighting to get you back to how you used to be, I'm tired of you taking advantage of me every night, and I'm tired of you acting like you're the only one suffering because I can assure you that so many people are in pain over this loss too. You haven't even seen Lindsay since the incident, it's been me going and comforting her while trying to make you feel better and take care of our son." My chest was heaving with emotion, but as the tears spilled down my cheeks I felt my composure crumble. 

"I am so tired, H. I can't handle this anymore," I whisper as I fully breakdown. "It's your turn to put in the effort, because I can't do this." With that, I left our room. I debated leaving the house completely, but I knew that wouldn't solve anything. Last time one of us walked out of the house we ended everything and lost each other for so long; although I was mad at him, that's not what I want. I absolutely feared what would happen to him if I did that. 

I found myself in Tylers room. I laid on his very small bed and curled up in his blankets. Something about the smell of him was comforting but in a different way than the smell of Harry. It was a feeling of innocence and love. He truly has always meant everything to me. 

Out of instinct, I grabbed his stuffed dog and pulled it to my chest, clutching it tightly and inhaling the scent that my little boy has left on it. It's comforting and warm but it can't seem to stop the sobs from escaping me. 

So I laid there.

I cried for hours. After about the second hour tears weren't falling anymore but I was still heaving with sobs. I couldn't even bring myself to care about what Harry was doing. 

At around two I got out of Tyler's bed so I could go get him. I stretched my stiff limbs and slinked out of the room as quietly as I could. I debated not checking on Harry, but I felt my stomach sink at the thought of not knowing if he's okay. I glanced into our room and saw a lump under the blankets, just his curls peeking out the top. He seemed to be sleeping, I couldn't tell for sure and I definitely wasn't going to go in further to see. Instead, I decided to leave and picked up Tyler. 

When I arrived, he was putting some toys away with a worker. I smiled at the sight, he's always been such a sweet boy and I knew he probably offered to help. 

"Hello, here for Tyler but I see he's a bit busy," I let out a laugh as I talked to another helper. Her name was Sara, she's worked with Tyler since we started going here and always kept me updated on how he was. She laughed and looked towards the little boy just as he scooped up as many toys as he can, putting them in the toy box.

"He sure is, he's been great today. He only threw one small fit because someone wouldn't share. He was very adamant that his daddy's told him sharing is caring and that the other boy didn't care about him." I laughed loudly at that, of course, he would say that. "But what really got him upset was when the other boy got upset when we sent him to timeout, so Tyler waited for him and they ended up having a wonderful time." 

"That's great, I'm glad to hear that. Things have been a little rocky between Harry and I but I'm glad it's not affecting him too badly." She gave me a sad smile and turned back towards Tyler who finally saw me.

"Daddy!" He squealed, dropping the toys in his arms. He sprinted up to me with his arms up. I scooped him into my arms as soon as he was within reach and let him latch onto me. He wrapped his arms around my neck while squeezing his legs around me.

"Hi baby boy, did you have a good day bubs?" He nodded frantically and rambled about his day. 

Could I understand most of what he was saying? No, but seeing him this happy was a nice change of pace with all the fighting Harry and I have done. 

"That's wonderful babes, should we go get ice cream before heading home?" I asked, carrying him out to the car. He refused to be put down and I was quite alright with holding him. 

"Without Papa?" He questioned, big brown eyes looking into mine. 

"Yeah, it'll be alright. Papa's relaxing at home." 

"Kay, ice cream!" Tyler cheered as I set him in his car seat. 

"Yeah, babe! We haven't gotten that in a while huh," I said as I went to my seat. 

He babbled the whole way, talking about anything and everything. It's so endearing, everything about him is so pure and beautiful. Some days I wish he was as small as when we first found him, other days I can't wait to see the beautiful person he'll blossom in to. 

"Okay bubs, what would you like?" I asked, holding him close to me as we looked at probably over 25 flavors. 

"Chocolate daddy," Tyler said, excitedly bouncing in my arms. 

"Okay baby," I laughed shaking my head, he has a hard time trying new things, even flavors of ice cream. 

We got our ice cream, I ended up just sharing a couple of scoops of the chocolate ice cream he wanted. 

"Big boy daddy, I do it," Tyler grumbled while taking the spoon out of my grip. I sighed knowing that this would lead to a huge mess.

I predicted correctly.

He had chocolate ice cream covering his cheeks and clothes, somehow a little got in his hair too.

"Alright big boy, I think it's time to go home and take a bath, huh?" He nodded and I carefully led him out to the car, trying to not get ice cream on me. 

"Papa be home?" He asked as we pulled into the driveway. I noticed Harry's car was still parked and I sighed in relief. 

"Yeah baby, Papa's still home." I guided him into the house and then ushered him into the bathroom. 

"I'll be right back, I just have to grab some jammies okay? Why don't you take your clothes off like a big boy," I said smiling at Tyler. 

"Uh-huh, I big boy I do it!" I laughed and quickly ran to Tylers room. On my way back, I stopped and looked into mine and Harry's room, only to see him not in there. 

Fuck. 

I felt my heart start beating faster, he's gotta be home right? I didn't see him in the kitchen or the living room so he has to be in his music room. 

I went up to the door of the music room and heard the sounds of the piano playing and Harry humming. I let out what felt like the millionth relieved sigh of the day, my boys are safe and everything is kind of okay. 

I headed to the bathroom where I gave Tyler a quick bath, changing him into his pyjamas. I knew it was too early for him to go to bed, but I figured we'd just be lazy for the rest of the day. 

"Wanna cuddle with daddy on the couch?" I asked Tyler as I fluffed out his curls with the towel. He nodded and lifted his arms for me to hold him. He looked absolutely precious. He was wearing soft pajama pants that had little cartoon kittens on them with a matching long sleeved shirt. He looked absolutely angelic.

I carried him to the living room where I flopped down onto the couch. I adjusted Tyler so he was laying flushed against my chest, his legs were on either side of my torso and his one hand was fisting my shirt while he slowly brought the other one up to his mouth to suck his thumb. I typically don't let him do that, but today I just wanted to baby him. 

I kept one hand on his small back while the other combed through his curls. I had turned on cartoons for him to watch while we laid there. I kissed the top of his head numerous times, hugging him to me a little tighter.

"I love you baby, so so much." 

"Love you too daddy," he whispered, snuggling his face into my neck. We laid there for a long time and honestly it was the most content I've felt in weeks, besides the voice in the back of my head reminding me that Harry was upstairs. 

"Alright baby, let's get up and make dinner. Should we make some noodles with the red sauce that you like?" I asked Tyler as I carried him to the kitchen. 

"Yeah daddy, I help!" He cheered excitedly. 

"Yeah lovey, you can help. My big boy," I kissed his cheek and settled him on my left hip. I let him hold the spoon as I stirred the noodles and he dished up three plates with me. I set him on the ground once we were all done and took off his clothes so he was only in a pull up, he'd maybe need to get wiped down but I would rather not have to change his clothes. 

"I'm gonna go get papa, why don't you play with your toys while I get him okay?" Tyler didn't even bother answering me as he got distracted by his train set that was on the floor, making little engine noises. 

I walked up the stairs and stopped outside the door, taking a deep breath. I knocked softly, not bothering to wait for a reply and walked in. Harry was furiously writing in his journal, deep in concentration until I walked in. He quickly looked up at me, I thought he would slam his journal shut but he didn't. Instead, he looked back down and wrote some more, mumbling words I couldn't understand under his breath. I could practically see lyrics forming in his mind as he wrote them out. 

"I just came to t-" 

"Shh, just wait one second," Harry said, cutting me off. I huffed and stood there as he scribbled in the journal. I looked at the leather material as he wrote. I love how it's become his place to express himself, little stars drawn on it along with the words 'let us love', 'one and only' and the word 'please'. The stars have been traced over hundreds of times judging by how deep they were in on the cover. 

After about five minutes, he set his pen down and breathed out a relieved breath, almost like he couldn't make himself stop writing. 

"It's finished," he breathed, setting down the journal and running a hand through his hair. I nodded. 

"Dinner's ready just came to tell you that." He nodded and I turned around, walking out of the room. He followed about a minute later. 

I gathered Tyler off the floor and set him in his chair. We ate in silence apart from Tyler telling Harry about his day. After dinner, Harry went back into his music room, he was obviously piecing together something he felt was important since it's clearly all he had worked on all day. I heard the sound of the guitar playing, it was muffled but it sounded beautiful. 

Tyler and I cuddled the evening away, him eventually falling asleep on my chest. I cooed at the little boy, my heart felt ready to burst. I remember all the nights him and I did this as we both mourned the loss of Harry. He was too young to fully know what happened, but he could definitely feel the lack of his other father. 

I carefully carried him to his room, laying him down on his bed and tucking him in. "I love you, baby boy, you're my whole world," I whispered, kissing his forehead. I combed my fingers through his hair one last time before exiting his room. 

I sighed, not really knowing what to do with myself now. I didn't want to see Harry who was busy anyway, and I didn't feel like sitting in Tyler's room anymore, especially since he was trying to sleep. 

I eventually just made my way to bed, laying there and playing on my phone. I definitely wasn't tired since I've done basically nothing all day but wallow in self-pity. I had my back facing the door, just in case Harry decided to come in. 

Which he did. 

I felt the bed dip right behind my back, I held my breath, as if that would change anything. I felt his hand rub my side and I'd be lying if I said I didn't get chills. 

"Liam? Can we talk?" He asked, voice sounding so broken. I turned and faced him, and I was not prepared for what I saw. 

His hair was a complete mess like he had been running his hands through it too much. His face was flushed except for the pink on his cheeks and his red-rimmed eyes, the red making them that much greener. Tears were still tracking down his cheeks and I resisted the urge to wipe them away. 

"What would you like to talk about Harry." I played with the blanket, avoiding his gaze. 

"I have so much to say to you Li, but I know the first thing I should say and need to say is I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. I can't believe I-" A sob cut him off, making me instantly sit up and look at him just as tears sprung from his eyes, cascading rapidly down his face. "I can't believe I've been okay with taking advantage of you like that," he sobbed out, his whole body shaking. I ached for his sunshine smile and dimples at that moment. 

"You've been nothing but good to me, and I have been so selfish. I didn't even think about how you were hurting too. I've been demanding your affection but pushing it away only to try to drown my sorrows in a bloody beer. And then coming home and using your body the way I did, I just- I can't," a sob overtook him again and he doubled over. I felt my bottom lip quiver and my hands tremble as tears fell from my eyes.

"How can I ever regain your trust? Or make you even forgive me? You deserve so much more than what I've been giving you recently, and I hate myself for that." He looked at me, the green in his eyes was so dull. "Can I, can I please hold you?" He whispered, almost childlike. I felt my face crumple and a sob escape my lips at his question. That's all I've wanted for weeks. I held my arms out to him and he quickly scooped me up, setting me onto his lap. 

I wrapped my legs around him as one hand found it's way into his hair, the other fisting the back of his shirt. He held me fiercely, squeezing me so tight as if he didn't I would disappear. I tried to choke back sobs, and I knew he could tell.

"Let go, baby, let it all out, sweetheart," he whispered. That's all it took. 

I shook with sobs, the pain of the last few weeks pouring out of me as I pressed my face into his chest, soaking the front of his shirt. Although he was the cause of a lot of my pain, nothing felt better as his heart beat under my head while his left hand cradled the back of my head, holding me to him.

I was finally home. And I was hurt so bad, but it felt so good. 

I cried harder than I ever have, but it didn't last long, because I couldn't be mad at him for long. Eventually, my sobs turned into sniffles, but I still preened under his comforting words, telling me how much he loves me and how he's so sorry and that he's never felt luckier to have someone like me. 

I looked up to him and he cooed, wiping the tears off of my face. "I love you, sweetheart, I am so sorry," he said, pressing our foreheads together. He held my face between his two hands, the metal of his rings cooling my warm face slightly. The feel of his rings reminded me of the one on my ring finger. 

I looked down at it. 

Mine.

Love. 

Harry. 

I looked back up into his eyes, and pressed my lips to his, pulling him closer by grabbing strands of his hair. He fiercely pressed back into the kiss, running his hands up and down my sides. We kissed for a long time, I felt more alive in that moment than I had in a long time; like I was finally breathing again. 

When I pulled away he was breathing heavily, his lips were so pink. "I love you, baby," my voice cracked. "I forgive you," I whispered. He closed his eyes and shuddered out a breath, then squeezed me close. He pressed his face into my chest and I held him there. 

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," he gasped out. I'm not sure how many times he said thank you but I hushed him by pressing my lips to his again. 

"You don't need to thank me, we are a team. We'll get through anything babe," I said smiling down at him. He nodded and kissed me quickly again.

"I want to play you a song I've been working on. With everything going on, I found a lot of inspiration, that's what I was working on earlier. It's about us partly, but it's also just something I came up with. It's more of how our fighting made me feel, can I play it for you?" Harry looked up at me with hopeful eyes, the green finally shimmering and bright again. 

"Of course you can H," I whispered and climbed off his lap, not really knowing what I was going into since I didn't know anything about the song besides what inspired it. 

He grabbed my hand and pulled me to his music room. 

"I was so busy in here because I recorded the instrumentals for the song, it's a lot of horns and strings. I actually really like it," Harry said as he sat down on the piano bench. I nodded and sat down next to him.

"Whenever you're ready love," I smiled warmly at him trying to encourage him. His songs are oftentimes something that takes a lot for him to share since they're always so personal. 

He took a deep breath and started. 

Put a price on emotion  
I'm looking for something to buy  
You've got my devotion  
But man, I can hate you sometimes I don't want to fight you  
And I don't wanna sleep in the dirt  
We'll get the drinks in  
So I'll get to thinking of her We'll be a fine line  
We'll be a fine line  
We'll be a fine line  
We'll be a fine line  
We'll be a fine line  
We'll be a fine line Test of my patience  
There's things that we'll never know  
You sunshine, you temptress  
My hand's at risk, I fold Crisp trepidation  
I'll try to shake this soon  
Spreading you open  
Is the only way of knowing you We'll be a fine line  
We'll be a fine line  
We'll be a fine line  
We'll be a fine line  
We'll be a fine line  
We'll be a fine line  
We'll be a fine line  
We'll be a fine line  
We'll be a fine line  
We'll be a fine line  
We'll be a fine line  
We'll be a fine line  
We'll be alright  
We'll be alright  
We'll be a fine line  
We'll be a fine line  
We'll be alright We'll be alright

We'll be alright

I was speechless. It was a beautiful melody that brought light to such a hard situation. I pulled him into me, kissing all over his face as my tears fell. 

We really do have a lot of emotions.

"That was wonderful H, it's beautiful," I breathed out.

"Thank you, I was really hoping you'd like it. It's for you, my love," he traced a finger over my arm, then rubbed his hand down it. 

"It was amazing, you're amazing." I climbed into his lap and held him tight. 

After a long silence, he finally spoke. 

"Do you still want to marry me?" Harry asked quietly. I pulled away slightly to look at his face, his eyes were swimming with sadness. 

"Of course I want to marry you sweetheart, you're everything to me. Never doubt that" I said with a shake of my head. He nodded and leaned his head on my chest. 

"You know, you were right."

"About what?" Harry questioned, pulling away to look at me with curious eyes. 

"In the song, you said we'll be alright." He nodded, waiting for me to continue. 

"You were right, we'll be alright. Always."


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter of the series! Thank you all very much for reading, you can find me on Wattpad @A_writing_reject where I have a Larry story going now. Enjoy!

Harry's POV 

I woke up that next morning to Liam cuddled up to my chest. I let out a breath, I feared he would leave. Even though we had sorted out everything the other night, I was scared he would have second thoughts. 

I felt like I was finally whole again, I had my fiance back. We had spent a few hours after I sang to him holding each other and then recording Fine Line. He told me it was a beautiful song and that if I didn't record my voice with the instrumentals he would find someone who would sing it and make them famous because the song 'is meant to be on top of every music chart in the country'. 

I never would've thought that my music would ever get put out into the world. 

I laid there deep in thought as I combed my fingers through Liam's hair until I heard a little voice. 

"Papa?" I saw a teary-eyed Tyler standing by my side of the bed, clutching his stuffed puppy. 

"Hi, sweetheart, what's the matter baby boo?" He shook his head and held his arms out for me to pick him up. I untangled myself from Liam and pulled Tyler to me. I felt tears leak onto my bare chest. "Baby, tell Papa what's wrong please, no more tears sweetheart," I whispered and pulled him closer. 

"Had accident Papa," he sobbed. I quickly left mine and Liam's bedroom, hoping that Liam wouldn't wake up. 

"Hey, it's okay bubs. We're still learning how to use the big boy potty right?" He nodded and sadly wiped some tears off his cheeks. I bounced him lightly in my arms as I made my way to his room for a change of clothes before making my way to the bathroom. "Exactly darling, no one's mad at you and that's why we have these!" I cheered after laying him on the floor. I held out a pull up that had Elmo on it, making him giggle. 

" has 'Mo on it Papa," He giggled again, lightly brushing his hand over the pull-up.

"It sure does have Elmo on it! Elmo is for big boys like you," I said and tickled his sides, he fell into a fit of laughter as he tried to push my hands away. I stopped once he was red in the face, his chest heaving as little giggles escaped after the assault on his tummy. I changed him into a pair of black jeans along with a white T-shirt. I hovered over his little body and pressed a kiss to his cheeks. For a minute I stayed over him and ran my hands through his hair, admiring the beautiful boy I get to call my son. He ran his small fingers over the tattoos I have, focusing mainly on the two swallows. He always found tattoos cool, mainly because Liam and I have some, I just knew when he gets older he'll have his own collection of ink on his skin. 

"Look like you, Papa!" Tyler said as he took note of his outfit. 

"You sure do baby, you look rather dashing I must say," he giggled and held his arms out for me to pick him up. "Should we go give Daddy a big cuddle this morning?" Tyler nodded his head and bounced in my arms excitedly as we walked to the bedroom. 

I climbed onto my side of the bed and set Tyler down between us, he quickly threw himself on top of Liam, instantly stirring him awake. 

"Daddy! Daddy! Gotta wake up! Gotta cuddle!" Tyler yelled while pulling at Liam's arm. 

"Okay baby I'm up, just next time be a little more gentle please," Liam laughed. His voice sounded like sex but his morning voice was always this beautiful. I absolutely love hearing it. 

"Good morning my love," I said as I placed a kiss on his lips, which he pressed back into.

"Good morning H, sleep okay?" I nodded and pulled him close to me. I had one arm wrapped around his waist while he placed one of his in my hair. Tyler was smushed between us, his back against my stomach and his head against Liam's chest. Liam's unoccupied hand was also in Tyler's hair. 

This is perfect.

Wedding

I looked at myself in the mirror again and took another deep breath. I was so fucking nervous which like, why should I be? I know Liam is my forever so why am I so nervous. I attempted to fix my tie in the mirror with shaky hands. 

"Let me help, Haz." I turned and saw Louis, my best man, standing behind me. 

"Thanks, Lou," I said and turned towards him. He quickly fixed it and tucked the black tie underneath my jacket.

"You should calm down H, it's just Liam. The love of your life."

"What if he's not ready? What if he says no and leaves me? Hell, what if I'm not ready?" Louis grabs my shoulders and turns me to look directly in his eyes. 

"Harry. How long have you been in love with him?"

"Like two and a half years."

"And how many times has he forgiven you?"

"Too many to count," I said with a shake of my head. 

"Just enough in his eyes. No matter how many times he has to forgive you, it'll never be too many times, you are just enough. Now, shake off those nerves and let's go get you married." Louis pulled me into a tight hug which I gratefully accepted, squeezing him just as tight. I looked in the mirror one last time, adjusting my hair and suit again.

"Alright, let's go get married." 

I stood at the alter as the music started playing. Louis' sister Doris was our flower girl and walked down the aisle hand in hand with Tyler. They were so precious together, Tyler in his little suit and Doris in her dress. Louis was behind me as they walked down and leaned forward.

"Imagine if they ended up getting married," he laughed quietly.

"We don't need to talk about that right now, too soon," I chuckled quietly.

Then my heart just about stopped. 

Liam was a sight to behold. He was also wearing a black suit with a black tie, but he looked absolutely magnificent. I felt myself choking up and I was glad Louis snuck a handkerchief into my inside coat pocket. I reached down and grabbed it, wiping my eyes as he walked down the aisle. He was arm in arm with Gemma. I saw tears build in his eyes when he saw me but he definitely held it together a lot better than I did. 

They stopped in front of me and Gemma pulled us both into a hug. 

"Welcome to the family Li," she whispered before letting go and taking her seat. Zayn and Niall made their way up behind us too, Zayn was holding Tyler in his arms who was watching on quietly which was shocking. I didn't hear much, I was so infatuated with Liam that my only focus was on him and the weight of his hands in mine as the pastor went on about love and all that shit. 

"And now we will say our vows," the pastor said. Liam and I had agreed not to write anything out because we didn't feel the need to, but I had another plan.

"Actually I wrote mine out," I announced quickly, cutting him off. Liam looked at me with surprised wide eyes.

"Harry?" He whispered to me. 

"It's okay sweetheart," I smiled at him before turning to Louis who handed me my journal. 

Alright, Styles, don't mess this up. 

"Liam. Where do I even start? We've been through so much together but I suppose I should start by saying thank you. All my life I believed that I could only amount to so much, I didn't think I would ever be up here saying I found the love of my life that I am fortunate enough to have a beautiful son with. When we first got together, I was a mess, although I never would've admitted that, but you helped me grow. You accepted me even with all of my mistakes, and I have never felt more grateful than I do right at this moment. You have been patient, unwavering, and the most important thing that's come into my life. We used to always talk about getting a home together, but I realized over time that home isn't a place with rooms and furniture, it's a person. I see my home when I look at you look at our son, when you laugh at my dumb jokes, when you cry at sad movies, and when you hold me tight during my weakest moments. I have found a forever home with you, and I will settle into our inevitable forever. I once told you that you had my heart and I asked you to keep it safe. I know you will do just that. Thank you, Liam James Payne, for everything." 

I looked up at the most beautiful man, tears running down his face but I know his are a reflection of mine currently falling. He clutches me close to his chest, breathing rapidly against my shoulder as we hold each other. 

"I love you so much Haz," he sobs. 

"I love you too Liam, now let's finish getting married," I laughed and pulled away, wiping his tears. 

The ceremony continued, we exchanged rings and when it was time to kiss I pulled him to me and dipped him down, I could tell he completely trusted me when I did this when he smiled into the kiss.

Liam Payne was finally my husband.

After the wedding reception, Tyler went home with Niall while Liam and I went to a hotel. 

We, of course, made love as soon as we got there and it definitely felt different. I've never felt more bound to another person than I had then. It held so many emotions and so much love. 

"What are you thinking about Li?" I asked him. 

"You of course," he laughed as he stood under the showerhead with me, both of us holding each other close. I hummed in response. 

"I can't believe you're my husband now, we've grown so much. It's unreal," I said against his shoulder. 

"I know, how does it feel being stuck with me now?" I let out a laugh and pulled back slightly.

"It's the best feeling in the world," I pressed a kiss to his lips and pulled him closer.

"I agree, now let me wash your hair," he laughed, grabbing the shampoo. He ran his hands through my hair and started humming a song that I swear I've heard. 

"Sing to me," I whispered, eyes still shut. "The song you're humming, sing it to me." His hands stopped for a second in my hair, but then he continued lightly scratching my scalp. It's rare that he sings to me, but I know he would because today was a special day. 

He cleared his throat before singing the lyrics to one of my favorite songs. 

"Look at the stars, look how they shine for you," I peaked an eye open to see him smiling at me while massaging my hair.

"And everything you do

Yeah they were all yellowI came along  
I wrote a song for you  
And all the things you do  
And it was called "Yellow"So then I took my turn  
Oh what a thing to have done  
And it was all yellowYour skin  
Oh yeah, your skin and bones  
Turn into something beautiful  
You know, you know I love you so  
You know I love you so" 

As he continued I felt my throat almost close in on itself in emotions. He shoved me under the spray to rinse my hair as he continued. 

"I swam across

I jumped across for you  
Oh what a thing to do  
'Cause you were all yellowI drew a line  
I drew a line for you  
Oh what a thing to do  
And it was all yellowYour skin  
Oh yeah your skin and bones  
Turn into something beautiful  
And you know

For you I'd bleed myself dry," before he sang the next line, Liam moved so his lips were pressed against my ear

"For you I'd bleed myself dry" A whimper escaped my lips at the lyrics and his voice, at this point I couldn't tell what was falling from my face; whether it was water from the shower or tears. 

"It's true

Look how they shine for you  
Look how they shine for you  
Look how they shine for  
Look how they shine for you  
Look how they shine for you  
Look how they shineLook at the stars  
Look how they shine for you  
And all the things that you do" 

At the end of the song, I wasn't able to breathe well and I felt overwhelmed sobs escape my lips. Liam held me tight as I let my emotions free.

"I love you," I sobbed out, trying to pull myself together. He smiled at me, eyes crinkling slightly and ran a hand through my hair. 

"And I love you, sweetheart," he said and then kissed me. 

And if I planned on getting a tattoo of just the word 'yellow' on my skin because this song had to have been made for us, then no one had to know. 

2 Years later

Liam's POV

"Tyler, come on we don't want you to be late on your first day of preschool!" I said, standing in the doorway of my almost 5-year-olds room. He looked up at me through all of his curls, pushing them back out of his face. He had decided he wanted to be just like his Papa and grow out his hair, although Harry had cut it short by this point. 

"Coming daddy," he yawned.

"Okay babe, I set out your clothes, I'm going to get breakfast ready for you alright?" He nodded and sat up in bed before peeling off his pajamas. 

I went downstairs and continued the breakfast I had been working on for all of us. I had just finished the pancakes and bacon and was just starting the eggs when Harry walked down, our 3-month-old baby girl in one arm, her head resting on his bare chest. 

"Good morning," he mumbled, kissing my cheek before going to make a bottle. 

"Good morning Haz, and good morning princess Leila," I cooed at the wide awake girl in Harry's arm. She smiled up at me before pressing her face into Harry's chest. She and Tyler were our whole world. We had decided after we got married that we wanted to have another baby but didn't know how to go about it. We thought about asking Lindsay to be a surrogate but were quite nervous with the past complications she had, so we ended up asking Gemma who was more than willing to do it for us. She ended up living with us for the last half of her pregnancy, as Harry insisted on taking care of his sister. She ended up having no complications during the pregnancy, not even morning sickness really. The only hard part was the labor of course, but she gave us our second miracle. Leila was born with a full head of hair and bright green eyes, dimples to match. She didn't look a lot like me besides the hair color, but we were both so in love. 

Tyler came stumbling downstairs and right into my arms, sleep still apparent on his face. He looked a lot like me, but his habits and behaviors were definitely things he picked up on from Harry. "Let's go eat babes," I said, setting him down on his chair at the table. I made him a plate with a little bit of everything, then I made up Harrys plate as he was preoccupied with our little girl. I scooped some eggs into a bowl for him and grabbed him a banana and some strawberries. For the past two and a half years his habits have completely changed. He works out every day at the gym he used to train people at, and he's been eating super clean; eating mostly fruit and foods packed full of protein. It's been really good for him mentally and physically, he's never been better and I've never been prouder. 

If you hadn't caught it, Harry no longer trains people. He did that for about a year, but two months after we got married he got a call from a record label. I had been having him record his songs and giving them to my boss at work. My boss is a multi-millionaire because of the success he's had with his companies, therefore he has many different contacts to get Harry's name out there. When Harry got the call he went in to meet up with a representative from the label and walked out with a signed contract.

He cried for two hours. Partly because he was being offered a shit ton of money, and partly because he has secretly dreamed of writing songs and performing. 

He's been working on an album for about six months now and was just wrapping it up. It was set to release in May and then he would start touring in Septemeber. He was anxious to leave us, but his dreams meant so much to all of us and we were all willing to make something work. 

To say life had changed would be an understatement, things completely flipped but in the best way possible. 

All of a sudden, we heard the bus screech at the front of our house, signaling Tyler's first day was about to start.

"Oh, we gotta get you out there baby! Let's go!" I said excitedly, grabbing his backpack. 

"Daddy, my hair!" He chanted, halting me. He handed me a tiny hair tie. I quickly wove my fingers through his curls, twisting his hair up into a smooth bun, tying it in place. 

"Okay, there you are babe," I said. We all made our way outside and I put Tylers backpack on his tiny shoulders. "Give daddy a big hug darling," I said, smiling despite the fact I felt tears prick at my eyes. "I love you sweetheart," I whispered as we hugged.

"Love you too daddy," he said, pulling away. 

Harry bent down, Leila still in his arms and pulled Tyler into his arms. "Have a wonderful first-day babycakes, I love you." He squeezed Tyler tightly and placed a kiss onto his head. 

"I love you too Papa," he said with a small smile on his face. 

"Give your sister some love bubs," Harry said, holding the little girl so she was facing Tyler.

"Bye bye Leila, big brother loves you! I'll see you soon," Tyler nodded his head while pressing his tiny hands to his sisters face, giving her a kiss on her chubby cheek. She squealed happily and waved her arms around at her brother. 

"Bye baby!" We called out as he made his way onto the bus. Tyler turned around and waved one last time before boarding the bus, which drove off a minute later. Harry pulled me into his side and kissed my cheek, holding me with one arm and Leila with the other. I sniffled quietly as tears threatened to fall. 

"They grow up so fast, I feel old," I laughed wetly.

"Well, we have aged quite a bit and if I remember correctly I was the one that found that gray hair the other d-" I cut him off by slapping my hand over his mouth. 

"You don't need to say it out loud Harold, other than that one occasion we don't need to mention my gray hairs," I laughed lightly. He laughed and kissed my fingers gently before pulling me inside. We stepped in; it felt warm. Our house smelt like a mixture of babies, cinnamon, and honey. I smiled while looking around, the life Harry and I have built and the struggles we faced all played in my head. 

I looked at my husband who was now sitting on the couch, feeding our daughter. I leaned over and kissed him on his cheek. 

"I love you baby," I said, a feeling of pure love sweeping over me. 

"I love you too sweetheart, so so much." Harry smiled, then looked down and kissed Leila on her forehead. 

I sat next to Harry and held him while he held our daughter. Our family picture caught my eye as we sat there, it was of Harry and I, he had Tyler on his lap while I held a three day old Leila. I've never felt more content in life. Right next to that picture was one of Harry and I, I had one hand pressed over his heart while the other was in his hair while he held me by my waist. Our bodies were pressed together and we were kissing with small smiles on our faces. The frame it was in had the words 'you have my whole heart, keep it safe' etched into it. Looking at the picture and seeing how we have grown, I knew that I had found my forever home, 

Harry Edward Styles, will always be my home.


End file.
